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Around 3 months before writing this letter I set out on the journey of turning my personal development journey into a real project. 

This is my life’s work. 

To become the highest expression of who I can be, while helping you do the same.

How do I intend to do that? 

By identifying meaningful, important and urgent goals, documenting the process, facing one obstacle at a time and overcoming them through the embodied learning process. 

Each obstacle on the path is an opportunity for learning. 

Learning is only complete when knowledge is implemented. It can not and must not remain solely within the mind, for there it can bring no good to the world. 

The journey I set out on began with re-installing a solid morning routine into my life. 

Day by day I would receive feedback through attempting to stay disciplined, yet expectedly failing here and there. 

The failures showed me where either I or the morning routine was weak, presenting to chance to adapt and try something else. 

With each iteration of trial and improvement over the last 3+ months my morning routine has become a catapult into greatness each and every day. 

Yet there remains are problem I have struggled to solve, still to this day. 

The Problem…

As I continually wake at an earlier hour and turn my morning into an incredible time of peace, purpose and productivity, I’m noticing something. 

It’s my sleep…

Which in fact part of a greater section of the ideal daily routine. 

That is, the evening routine. 

My evening routine has majorly lacked consistency. 

Therefore as I wake earlier I soon fall sleep deprived if late nights ensue. 

Waking earlier is essential for my business and most importantly, my religious practice. 

I must wake before the sun rises to pray, meditate and then complete hours of valuable work. 

Sleep depravation is not something I wish to tolerate.

My first boxing fight is coming up in less than 4 weeks. 

I have to be ready and in peak condition. 

So…

How do I ensure I get to bed at a reasonable hour that allows for a solid nights sleep and still an early rise before The Sun? 

Such will be the purpose of this Mastery Letter. 

Clearly something is not working, and I have an idea what exactly that is. 

The refusal to set boundaries with both myself and those I spend time with of an evening.

Nightfall: Boundary Time

My study of Chinese 5 Element Theory has served invaluable when understanding how to live in best accordance with nature. 

From keeping a harmonious daily schedule, bringing projects to life, knowing what and what not to eat as the seasons change, and even understanding others on a level beneath the surface.

The day is split into 5 key phases. 

These 5 phases bring with them different flavours of the day. 

The early morning (tree) is a time for rising up, creative insights, movement, consuming hot fluids, sour tastes and getting outside. 

The midday (fire) is for peak physical and mental exertion, social connection, spiritual practice, and bitter tastes.

The descending (earth) is for returning home, family time, nourishment around the table, settling down, sweeter tastes and comfortable sensations. 

The sunset (metal) is for solitude, boundaries, discipline, reviewing and the pungent taste.

The night (water) is for rest, regeneration, dreaming, internal practice (meditation/ prayer), and the salty taste.

Reflect on these and consider where you are lacking, if you wish to take benefit from this letter. 

Personally, the weakest areas of discipline within my daily schedule are the sunset and the night. 

My habit tracker has reflected this. 

Near 100% completion during the morning routine and no greater than 20% completion for my evening/ sleep routine. 

Irregularity, inconsistency and indiscipline… The opposite of routine. 

“Do I need to clean this up or am I being too hard on myself?”

Such a question might arise for both yourself and I. 

I would say it is absolutely necessary that I learn to clean up my evening hours and establish a solid evening and sleep routine.

In fact, I would argue that is non-negotiable. 

Late night seldom serve a good purpose. 

Irregularity in sleep has detrimental affects on hormones, circadian rhythm, energy levels, appetite and various systems within the body.

Poor sleep quality or sleep deprivation reduce the probability of discipline come the morning time.

For me I can not afford this. 

Waking before sunrise is an essential part of my religious practice. 

It is also key in the development of my business, ensuring most of my important work is done before 1pm, leaving time for plenty of exercise and social connection. 

Rising later in the day the parts of my lifestyle that are important for a sense of balance and longevity.

Meeting with my brothers.

Exercising regularly.

Having some fun. 

Life is not all about work.

Being productive is not only about ones business or career.

Productivity is all about optimising for best output. 

That means getting proper sleep, eating well, decompressing at the end of the day and taking time to rest and regenerate. 

Do not buy into the lie that these things are worth sacrificing for money. 

Or that successful people need work 14+ hours a day…

Don’t be mistaken…

Work hard. 

Incredibly hard. 

But treat rest and other crucial aspects stated above as just as important. 

For the last 3 months, although my morning and daytime routines have flourished…

The night routine is still suffering and struggling for solid establishment.

Using the wisdom of 5 Element Theory, it’s boundaries that I’m lacking. 

A non-negotiable cut off point. 

A time from which I absolutely must be alone, in isolation, without screens, without friends, without distraction from my inner-being.

What I truly feel I need is to lock myself away in my bedroom after a certain hour. 

Receding within, reflecting, reviewing the day, praying, meditating, setting intention for tomorrow and facilitating high-quality sleep.

It appears setting boundaries isn’t as simple as it might seem. 

Saying no isn’t the easiest thing to do, whether that be with ourselves or others. 

“What if it’s not about saying no?”

“What if instead it’s about saying yes to the regenerative, fulfilling and disciplined ritual of the night?”

Let this be a useful perspective. 

From one angle we are saying no to what is a detriment. 

While from another angle we are saying yes to that which is a benefit. 

Being of Ritual

From the beginning of time, humans have performed rituals. 

Nothing has change in this regard.

We remain as ritualistic as ever, yet the rituals themselves have changed somewhat. 

Perhaps burning incense evening prayer was once the default. 

Now it is burning cigarettes and consuming with friends at the end of the day.

Such has been the case in my life. 

There’s a ritual for me and some of the brothers to meet multiple times a week, in the evening time, to drink tea and talk deep. 

Some of us smoke cigarettes during that time. I have been one of them. 

It’s all part of a ritual. 

A set of activities that allow us to decompress at the end of the day. 

So we may recharge and live with discipline again tomorrow. 

All hard without soft is not sustainable. 

The odds of successful discipline come the morning decrease if one does not decompress in the evening. 

This is what is referred to as burn-out or willpower-fatigue. 

Consistency is far more important than intensity. 

What use is there in revving the engines at full power, if the car then breaks down? 

Such is the enemy to all meaningful progress towards any important goal. 

Prioritise consistency over intensity. 

My poor sleep routine is the only thing stopping me from being incredibly consistent. 

How can I ensure the evening is a ritual time for decompression without sacrificing discipline and regularity in sleep? 

My current approach, that has continually failed until now is to say that I will leave my brothers by a particular time and return home to solitude. 

Why has this failed? 

Perhaps it is not due to an ineffective yea, but rather a lack of respect for the idea. 

It has not been non-negotiable. 

I know that’s what I need. 

The cutting sword that turns a ‘maybe’ into a ‘must’. 

That requires me to respect my word, my routine and my boundaries more-so than pleasing others. 

It also means learning to grow more comfortable with being alone in the later hours of the night when everyone else is ‘up to stuff’. 

There is surely a fear of missing out. 

The Fear of Missing Out

Consider the following: 

At any given moment you are missing out on 99.9% of happenings in the universe. 

It is impossible not to miss out. 

In fact, we are always missing out on something. 

Right now, babies are being born, stars are exploding, others are dying and the wildest parties are taking place. 

The difference between these events and the fear that comes with missing out on some event you have been invited to is in attention and awareness. 

You are not aware of the 99.9% of things you’re missing out on in each moment. 

Yet that one thing… The invitation, the gathering, the party, the event, the meet-up, you’re aware of that. 

If most of life’s happenings are being missed out on is it not then true to say that the only place one’s attention need be is right here and right now? 

For in wishing you were somewhere else, you not only miss out on that which you do not attend.

You miss out on the moment you’re in. 

You’re sitting in the room with your family or friends, you’re there physically but not mentally. 

The attention is drifting to this or that thing, whatever it is, yet it seldom here and now. 

The fear of missing out is remedied with the willingness to be present with yourself. 

You are always missing out. 

And you will miss out on even more, if you refuse to meet the moment you are in. 

The place where you reside, in this very moment is the centre of your experience. 

Wherever and whenever, practice coming in to the present and drawing attention close. 

For the mind wishes to drift in all directions, believing things other to be better than what is right here in front of us. 

Avoid missing out on what is destined for you by being present wherever you are. 

It is right here and right now that the party is really taking place. 

One can be in a room full of others yet feel a sense of loneliness. 

It is not in the absence of friends that one is lonely. 

But rather in the lack of connection. 

The Need For Connection

Core to each and every one of us is a longing to feel connected to life itself. 

We can establish this connection within ourselves, with our environment and with each other. 

In the current world we tend to simulate this sense of connection through screens.

Emulating the attendance of insightful and deep conversations with others via YouTube or podcasts. 

It is as though we are there, listening, yet unable to participate in the conversation.

When I quit smoking weed I noticed something peculiar. 

Each night I would sit for hours in our garden shed, smoking joints, drinking tea and watching podcasts. 

The habit of smoking weed was part of a triplet. 

Joined with drinking tea and listening to others speak deeply about life I felt as though I was somewhat there with them. 

What dawned on me was the true motive behind this behavioural triplet. 

It was an effort to create a sense of connection. 

One where I was with like minded people, engaged in a conversation that was satisfying to my curiosities. 

The down-side to this is that it only resulted in a deeper sense of loneliness. 

There is no effective replacement for true connection. 

Whether that be to ourselves, others, or nature, connection is a need we all long for. 

Currently I find myself in a similar pattern to before. 

Tea is drank most nights, only now without weed and podcasts.

Instead I’m in person with my brothers, speaking into the later hours of the evening and smoking tobacco. 

The real human connection is there, yet the majority of the triplet is destructive. 

The intention of this Mastery Letter is to find better solutions for my evening discipline. 

It is clear that connection can be established without external company. 

Through the practices of prayer and meditation. 

Connection to God is the truest of all. 

Regardless of one’s methods, establishing and nourishing a sense of connection in the evening time is part of the natural rhythm. 

Harmony with the natural rhythm is how we thrive. 

Yet the means through doing this must be real and legitimate. 

Most of us establish a false sense of connection through screens. 

Watching TV, playing video games, smoking or taking drugs late into the night. 

Connection is the common denominator underlining each of these activities. 

Some only provide an artificial sense of what we seek. 

Other acts give us exactly what we are looking for. 

It is up to us to tell the difference. 

Be Alone

The recede inward during the night is to draw boundaries with the world.

In doing so, we are willingly or unwillingly embracing solitude.

For those of us who fear ourselves, this will be difficult.

The night-time hours make clear one’s relationship with the self.

Inner-peace or torment…

Paradoxically, if one fears being alone, the only sustainable remedy is to move through the fear and grow familiar with aloneness.

One will then find it to be not as bad as perhaps estimated.

What was once averted may in fact grow rather preferable and pleasant. 

The other side of fear is never how we think it will be.

Nothing is ever as bad as you think…

For the mind knows not the truth. 

It is veiled in illusion, while it is illusion itself. 

“All of humanity's problems, stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” - Blaise Pascal 

Actionable Step: Write down 3-5 things you can do of an evening that embrace aloneness. Include activities that do not involve the use of screens.

Here’s my list:

Dhikr (using prayer beads to remember God)

Reading the Qur’an - I find this incredibly therapeutic

Yoga & Meditation - this puts me in the perfect state for sleep

Writing poetry

Reading

Now make your list. These will be your options for evening activities. The simpler the better.

Put The People Pleaser To Bed

Surely the solution to the problem I am proposing here is simple…

Getting to bed early, is it not as straight forward as “just doing it?”

It turns out like most things, unfortunately not.

For many of us, we know exactly what we should be doing yet we for some reason refuse to do it. 

I have been that way with the habit of retreating to bed early. 

We’re going to get to the bottom of this and have simple, effective solutions by the end of this letter.

Mark my words… 

Whenever there is a behaviour pattern that struggles to be installed into one’s life, it is important to call upon self examination. 

Inquire into the real ‘why’ behind the ‘what’. 

Is it as simple as… “you do not sleep early because you lack discipline?”

Or are there underlying factors laying beneath the surface? 

For me this is what I have noticed. 

It may be 8pm and I am ready to go home. 

Then a friend will call and ask me if I wish to join them for tea. 

The pattern of people pleasing comes in, the fear of saying no, and I will unwillingly agree to meet.

Often times this is the cause for staying out later than desired. 

Leading to sleeping later and rising with less vigour come the morning. 

People pleasing…

Why do we often struggle in saying no to others? 

Behind this is the fear of being lonely, once again. 

Subconsciously, we fear the potential rejection that might come from saying no to another. 

Perhaps they will take offence to this (at least that is how our mind thinks). 

In feeling offended one might then withdraw love or create distance in the relationship. 

That would then result in a sense of being abandoned, left or lonely. 

Wounds of the past are prominent in our unconscious behaviours during adult life. 

We may not realise, but patterns like people pleasing are often rooted in childhood trauma. 

Perhaps there was a time were love was pulled away from you. 

Maybe you were authentic and true to yourself in one moment, perhaps you even said no to somebody you loved, in the name of respecting yourself and being honest. 

Unfortunately, if the other person responded with disapproval, rejection and withdrawing their love from you…

You may have developed an anxious attachment style. 

This leads to continual self betrayal, all in the name of pleasing others. 

For one can not bear the discomfort of being disapproved of by another. 

So one will do whatever it takes to avoid conflict and keep others happy. 

Of course, if your “no” is responded to with the withdrawal of love and strong rejection…

Surely such relationships are not healthy in one’s life. 

If these are within the family, you must stay vigilant in being true to yourself at the cost of having love withdrawn. 

Find the love you long for in alone-ness. 

It is there… within you. 

You need only look to find it. 

Move through the wall of fear and take the risk of saying no to others. 

I will especially make practice of this. 

For I have struggled with the pattern of people pleasing also.

God willing, I will write more on attachment styles soon enough

Screen Time

I’ve noticed through self examination that bed time is dragged later and later via the use of screens. 

Perhaps I’ll be watching a movie, a YouTube video, or using social media. 

Screens are the perfect tools for staying awake, they mix will with other habits too. 

Snacking while watching a movie. 

Smoking weed while playing video games. 

Smoking cigarettes while watching YouTube videos. 

For me… it’s tobacco.

I’ll go out of an evening, even if I am home and not with friends, when I could most definitely be doing on of my evening habits and choose instead to repeatedly go outside, light up some tobacco and watch something on YouTube or scroll through social media… 

It would serve well to set the rule to eliminate screen time come the evening hours. 

In fact, I will set this rule in place. 

Rules are a powerful mechanism for protecting one’s discipline. 

Another rule I have is that my smartphone is not allowed in the bedroom with me. 

This protects and encourages discipline come the morning when it is time to wake. 

Rules get broken inevitably. 

Which only sheds light on where they can be reinforced for better effectiveness. 

Respecting High Standards

The standards we hold ourselves to… 

That is what this is truly about. 

If I know I wish to sleep earlier, and my friends invite me out for tea or some social gathering, It is only due to the lack of respect I have for the standards I wish to meet that leads me out and away from discipline. 

Respect the standards you wish to meet. 

Yes there may be childhood traumas and past experiences involved in how we’re showing up today…

But what good is there pointing the finger at such things? 

In fact, we can get lost in blaming the past, refusing to make any change in the real present moment. 

That is where change occurs, in the here and now. 

Maybe there are wounds of the past that lead to low levels of self-respect or patterns of people pleasing…

Even if that is the case, once aware of such things the only way to move forward is to move forward. 

Self respect only comes through practicing self respect. 

Discipline comes through practicing discipline…

So perhaps a simpler solution to all of this, if you wish to be most actionable and practical, is in respecting one’s personal standards. 

Know your standards and set them high. 

For you do not wish to be mediocre, do you? 

High standards are for winners. 

Surely, you are a winner, right? 

Uncommon… 

Rare…

A person who leads a positive example for others and is inspiring to be around. 

If that is the case, you must live by high standards. 

That means, good quality sleep. 

Enough sleep to regenerate come the morning. 

Proper meals.

Training well.

Working well.

Nourishing one’s social needs. 

And being able to clearly, without negotiation say goodbye when it is time to return home. 

My mantra for the week has been this… 

“High standards” 

It’s something my boxing coach is drilling in to those of us getting ready to fight on December 16th 2023.

Which leads to my final word, 

To Conclude

Have a goal that demands a lot from you. 

Respect that goal enough to meet those demands. 

If the goal demands earlier and better sleep, then it is harmonious with the intention of this Mastery Letter. 

That is… the solution to sleeping earlier, which creates long term consistency in waking earlier. 

The morning starts the night before. 

Regularity in sleep is essential for thriving.

If you do not respect the standards set by a goal or yourself, can you expect others to respect you? 

Draw boundaries with others, with the world, with your desires. 

Say no…

Learn to feel the discomfort of that if it is challenging. 

I promise, the more you do so, the easier it will get. 

It’s never as bas as you think it will be. 

If being alone is something you have avoided, know this. 

The love, connection and peace you seek is in solitude. 

Screens destroy aloneness and create loneliness instead. 

Reduce screen time and eliminate it come the night. 

Be with you…

Learn to love being with you…

For even that which you have a distaste for you may one day come to love. 

Just as how what you have loved may one day grow distasteful…

Take action on what you have read. 

Keep it simple. 

High standards. 

Respect your self. 

Respect your goal. 

If you don’t have a goal that requires better sleep, more energy and great health…

Find one immediately. 

And with that being said. 

I wish you well as always. 

Thank you for reading all the way until the end of this letter.

Stay sharp now… 

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Until next time. 

Usman

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