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Your emotions can be seen as a wild horse. 

Taming the horse requires one to take hold of the REINS and steer skilfully.

Let’s unpack each of these components and take a deeper look into what the REINS method teaches. 

Recognition 

If you were to conduct a study of yourself by observing your thoughts, feelings and behaviour patterns closely, you would be surprised to see that most actions are driven by feelings, and most feelings originate in thought. 

Most of us fall into the automatic pattern of reacting to our emotions with unconscious action.

When you stop, take a look within and start to recognise what is really going on inside, you cultivate what is called self awareness.

This is what Meditation & Mindfulness are all about. 

Not developing a spiritual ego that deludes you into thinking you’re better than others, and not pretending to be happy all the time, but learning to recognise what is taking place across the inner landscape and responding skilfully.

Study yourself, draw your attention inward and take a look at what’s going on in there. 

What are you feeling? 

Where are you feeling it in your body?

Is there an impulse to react to this emotion in order to make yourself feel better instantly? What are those impulses? 

Some of these impulses may look like: 

• Fidgeting 
• Distracting (through consumption or screens)
• Projecting (blaming, punishing or attacking others)
• Numbing (through porn, screens, drugs, or anything that will aggressively alter the state)

Come to know your own emotional impulses and take note of them.

To study yourself is to come to know yourself, to know yourself is to know your opponent. To know your opponent is to know who you are. 

Sun Tzu said it perfectly in The Art of War: 

|  “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

To know yourself is to to take a look within.

To hear what your ego is saying if you’re in an emotional state and how it is often about to make things worse for both you and others, usually by trying to establish a sense of control.

The greatest choice I ever made was to start looking within. 

The most peace I have ever experienced is in learning to observe myself and detach from thoughts and feelings.

Equanimity

No thought or feeling is good or bad in and of itself. 

It is our judgement and tendency to put labels onto things that usually gets in the way. 

Sadness isn’t bad, it is a feeling. When we really take a look within and harness the energy of sadness, it drives us to be better, to treat others with more compassion and to be more kind to ourselves. 

Anger for most of us is an unpleasant and labelled ‘bad’. However, anger has an energy that moves us and can be harnessed in order to take action or expelled through healthy aggression. 

Imagine anger like a fire, it is hot, that fire can burn you up or propel you in direction you wish to move in, like a rocket uses explosion to propel itself upward. 

Jealousy can lead to feeling inadequate and incapable compared to others. Yet once again, jealousy if used resourcefully drives us to find our unique gifts, and to create a stack of evidence we can use to generate confidence in what we’re capable of. 

Anxiety is rooted in fear, usually the fear of failure or uncertainty and can lead us to developing the courage necessary to face the unknown, or attempt that which is beyond our zone of comfort so that we may discover more about the potential of ourselves and the world. 

Emotions are neither good nor bad. 

It’s how you interpret them, and the attitude you hold towards your emotions that matters most. 

Inquisition 

This, when learned to use masterfully is an absolute super power. 

When you feel an emotion that is challenging, always ask the question ‘why?’

Why are you feeling this way? 

Anger when looked into often is rooted in sadness and pain. 

Jealousy is rooted in inadequacy and not feeling good enough. 

Dig a little deeper than the surface and you will be pointed to what is important to you, your values in particular and the stories you are telling yourself about you, others and the world.

The experience of your spiritual nature arises when inquiry is deepened. 

For example, inquire into who it is that is actually witnessing the emotion that is being experienced. 

Who is feeling it? 

Who is witnessing it? 

Draw your attention to the answer, and rest attention there.

Where is this emotion truly coming from? 

Ask ‘why?’, then ask it again and again.

Self inquiry will help you in understanding yourself on a whole new level. 

It is also the gateway to spiritual realisation, becoming aware, perhaps even for the first time of the true nature of you that resides deep within, witnessing and watching whatever comes into the perception. 

Non-Identification 

Inquiry naturally allows us to detach from what we are feeling. 

Again, this is not about numbing or pretending. 

You are not your thoughts or feelings. 

You are the observer and witness of those happenings. 

You are not the wave, you are the ocean. 

You are not the cloud, you are the sky. 

Saying to yourself that you are not your thoughts or feelings is very different to the direct experience of that fact. 

Self inquiry and the previous steps within the REINS method allow you to experience this for yourself, rooting you in the personal experience of your true nature, not in delusion. 

Storytelling 

The final step in the process is to now decide which story will be told moving forward. 

Will you continue to invest in stories that say:

• I’m not good enough
• I don’t matter
• I’m a failure
• I am ugly
• I can’t do it
• It’s all my fault
• Nobody cares about me

(Become highly aware of the stories your ego has come to believe)

Or will you choose to rewrite your story and change the narrative. 

The story is where the pain comes from. 

It is also through the story that we rise up and change our lives for the better. 

From victim to victor, the difference is in the story. 

Everybody loves a good story of trial and tribulation to transformation and triumph. 

You can be the hero in your own story, once you decide to take the pen back and start writing.

What will the new stories you tell yourself and the world sound like? 

Perhaps something like the following:

• I am unstoppable
• I am always guided
• I deserve the best treatment
• There is more than enough for everyone
• I am and always have been worthy of love
• I am more than capable 
• I can do anything I set my mind to
• Life is happening for me, not to me.
• I am here to do great things

Use any of the above, yet I encourage you to add your own. Choose stories that are meaningful, ones that fire you up and inspire you to take positive, penetrating action in the world. 

It doesn’t matter what happens in life, what matters is the stories we tell ourselves about what happened. 

This, if applied will make so much difference to your experience of life. 

Empowering stories drive action. It is through storytelling that we push further than what we considered ever possible. 

A funny, personal example for this is when I was in the gym one time, stood in the squat rack with 160kg on my back. I truly convinced myself that If I didn’t get the rep, that I would die. 

I was scared of failure, but this motivated me like nothing else and of course, I succeeded. 

Use storytelling however you wish, and watch your behaviours change as you start to play the game of life this way. 

With this 5 step process we can learn to own our feelings more sensibly, responding with better accuracy and maturity. 

This is where emotional intelligence is rooted, one’s ability to observe emotions and respond to them well. 

Distraction: The Enemy of Motivation 

Distraction gives us a short term sense of relief from the reality we refuse to experience.

Wether that be through screens, social media, drugs, alcohol, food or anything else that distracts the mind and gratifies the senses, we gain a short term sense of relief at the cost of both self knowledge and drive. 

This is the ultimate self betrayal, yet we continue to behave this way while remaining ignorant to the long term consequences

The mind by default seeks any distraction from unpleasantness. 

Mastery over the mind is paramount in attaining mastery over the emotions, for it is through the mind that emotions are perceived in the first place. 

The mind is the house of attention. When our experience is unpleasant to any degree, attention tends to move in any direction other than straight ahead.

Imagine trying to ride a horse that is constantly heading in every direction other than the one you wish to move in. 

It’s going to take you an insane amount of time if not an eternity to get to your desired destination.

That’s exactly what so many of us feel like in pursuing our dreams and meaningful goals. 

Our mind is like a horse that refuses to go straight on the path to our destination, and insists on taking us in any direction but the one we wish to move in. 

For us to master the mind, we must therefore commit to taking back ownership of our attention, that is, to be conscious of where attention tends to move, and to bring it back to what is immediate to us rather than allowing ourselves to be consistently distracted. 

Meditation is the practice of sharpening and harnessing one’s attention. 

Without ownership over attention, we are lost, scattered, and reactive as opposed to being responsive. 

Reacting is to act impulsively by command of the mind, response is to consciously choose our next action, which is only possible if we have a grasp over our attention. 

Every reaction to our impulses is a distraction. 

With every distraction we deny ourselves self knowledge and progress towards our desired outcomes. 

Stop distracting yourself. 

Don’t:

• Eat because you feel bored
• Smoke because you feel stressed
• Scroll on social media to pass the time
• Play video games when you lack purpose
• Watch porn when you lack intimacy
• Use screens because you feel lonely

If you feel unpleasant, let it teach you about yourself and point you towards that which you value. Distraction from unpleasantness is done only by creating the illusion of a more pleasant state. 

Perhaps right now you’re not supposed to feel pleasant. 

Perhaps you feel angry with where you are in life and how you’re behaving, let this move you into a better way of life. 

If you mask the anger and upset with the illusion of short term pleasantness you will convince yourself that it’s ok not to progress and grow. 

Loneliness will drive you to either enjoy your own company more, or get out into the world and meet some good people

On the other side of boredom, if embraced, is creativity and innovation. 

If you lack intimacy, work on becoming more attractive to and compatible with the type of person you desire to be with. 

Distraction and self medication destroy our need to adapt, this is evolution! 

We’re denying our evolution by giving in to these impulsive tendencies. 

If you numb your stress away, you don’t learn how to deal with it like the master you’re meant to be. 

| “Necessity is the mother of invention” 

Don’t remove the necessity to invent. Allow yourself to suffer and struggle a little, so you may adapt and formulate solutions organically. 

These will be your greatest assets, ones that money can not buy, and will build a character that manifests the dreams you long to live. 

It is for this very reason why drugs such as cannabis are so insidious. They provide an illusory sense of feeling as though everything is ok. When the high fades away, you’re left with the same sense of dread you’ve been trying to run away from. 

Why? Because something in your life is calling for you to address it. 

Address it, do not avoid or attempt to escape it, this will only increase suffering as time unfolds. 

In facing life and all it brings head on, you will then come to see that it is indeed true… 

| “Life is happening for you, not to you” 

Stress testing you into the best version of yourself. 

Are any of your chosen distractions really worth the sacrifice of organic adaptation, growth and becoming the better you? 

Distractions might have seemed minor before, but what about now? 

Altering your state at will: Preface

Radical acceptance is the root to emotional mastery. Resist no feeling and use The REINS method to tame them skilfully.

Forcing yourself to feel differently doesn’t work long term. 

I’ve tried it. 

You have to feel sad and angry sometimes. 

Without fear there is no room for courage. 

If you can accept how you feel, then why change anything? 

The reason for this is because some states are more resourceful than others, depending on what must be done. 

Another reason is that even though you may be able to accept your current internal reality, it may be based on falsity, an illusion that is preventing you from the truth of who you really are.

When action is the priority, and your responsibilities require you to show up regardless of how you feel, this is where state alteration comes in extremely useful. 

If you’re going to get yourself to take action, wouldn’t it be better to be able to create a state where it actually feels good too? 

Maybe you’re feeling sluggish and would prefer to stay comfortable instead of getting in the gym or training, even though you know that’s what you really want. 

It would serve well to know how to pump yourself up and get into a savage stage to go and murder that workout right? 

You’re never going to always feel like doing the things that are best for you and your future.

The truth is, once you’ve started, you’ll start feeling more alive anyway. The feeling of sluggishness is often an illusion. 

Similarly we can amp ourselves up for work, creative projects, and any other action we know we want to take, even when we don’t feel like it. 

We already alter our state without realising, that might be with coffee, or the internal words of ‘’come on!’’ Or opening our eyes wide open and saying to ourselves ‘’I am awake’’, when we are tired but required to stay alert. 

State alteration can be used to either up-regulate or down-regulate the sate. For example moving from sluggishness to motivated and ready to get after it, from frustrated to compassionate and kind or from high energy and pumped up to calm, collected and centred.

We alter our state to become either more Yin or more Yang.

I will most definitely be writing a Mastery Letter on the topic of yin/yang, for it has been pivotal in personal journey of health, purpose, spirituality and self mastery.

Now, let’s talk about how to alter your state and actually create motivation when and where you please. 

State Alteration

It is simpler than you might think.  

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There are 3 main levers we want to consider when approaching State Alteration. 

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Body: Physiology

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Your body is the key to all of this. Maybe until now you’ve been trying to think you way out of one state into another. Thinking alone won’t do it. You can not solve a problem using the same means through which it was created.

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Motivation, like all states starts with the body. 

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The way that you breathe, the posture you’re holding, if you’re sitting, standing or laying, if you’re stationary, moving gently, or moving aggressively… 

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All of these and more are factors that contribute towards your physiology and the effect that has on your current state. 

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For example, let’s look at what we call depression. 

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A depressed state has an associated posture, doesn’t it. A slumped spine, a shallow breath, head down, shoulders rounded, and certainly no smile on the face. 

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What about the motivated state? What does that look like physiologically? 

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Perhaps the eyes are wide open, the breath is deep into the belly and heart, the chest is pushed out, the spine is tall and you’re maybe even standing as opposed to sitting or laying down. 

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Start to observe how your state shifts as your physiology does. 

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With each of these levers, we’re able to tap into the coding of how we feel, altering our state at will and bringing beautiful states to the rise, like gratitude, courage, motivation, inspiration, love, and whatever increases our life quality. 

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Remember, this isn’t to say you should force yourself to feel happy all the time. 

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The first step to state alteration is learning to accept how you feel and release all resistance to it. 

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Don’t beat yourself up because you’re not sitting there with a massive smile on your face, even if others are. 

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One fool-proof way to experience the connection between body and mental state is to dance. Once you really let go, it’s hard not to feel uplifted and more positive.

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Movement is medicine.

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This is why so many of us seek refuge in the gym. During training we get out of our heads, into our bodies, moving our energies around well, resulting in an elevated mental and emotional state.

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Mind: Focus

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The mind and where it is focused comes in next. 

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Your state is largely influenced by where your attention is placed. 

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If you’re always focusing on what you don’t have, are you going to feel abundant, blessed and grateful? 

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Of course not, that’s what you feel when the majority of your thoughts are focused on what you do have, right now. 

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When the mind is focused on what isn’t right about this very moment, a project you’re working on, a problem you’re facing, even a struggle in your health, work, or relationship, it’s very easy to fall into a negative, pessimistic and even hopeless state, leading to complaining and feeling even worse. 

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Whereas, when the mind is majorly focused on what is going well, no matter how seemingly trivial or small it might be, you are far more able to carry yourself in a state that is grateful, empowered, joyful, uplifting, inspired, motivated and powerful. 

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For example, perhaps business feels extremely slow, you’ve been putting a lot of work in but are not yet experiencing the abundance you dream of. You begin to feel deflated and defeated, but you then remember that 5 years ago you were dreaming of having your own business, making money online, and helping others in a meaningful way. 

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How far you have come, it’s great isn’t it? 

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In focusing on how far you’ve come, even if things aren’t perfect right now, your state shifts into one that is reassured, grateful and hopeful moving forward. 

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I’m using this example because it’s something I’ve experienced again and again. Business can be hard, you have to keep yourself going again and again. 

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In your relationships the same principle applies, your finances, health and so on. 

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Yes you don’t have six pack abs yet, but you’re breathing, you’re training, you’re making progress and staying consistent, great! Keep going!

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If one of your organs is struggling, it won’t help you to obsess over it. Consider all of the other parts of your body that are functioning well. 

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Such was how I found myself thinking when healing my gut from the so called incurable Ulcerative Colitis or IBD. 

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An attitude that is more positive is going to help you heal more rapidly. This isn’t some fluffy invitation to be unrealistically optimistic. This is the truth, no matter what is going wrong, there’s always more going right. 

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The Holy Quran puts it perfectly:

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| ‘'For, were you to count the favours of Allah, you will not be able to count them. Surely Allah is Ever Forgiving, Most Merciful.’’

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Sometimes I would get so disheartened when seeing blood in the toilet (yes it’s graphic). 

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But I knew that in order to heal I had to keep my spirits high and not give in to feelings of victimhood or despair. 

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I would pay close attention to all the parts of my body that were functioning well, despite the struggle within the large intestine. 

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My eyes were working perfectly, my ears, nose, heart, lungs, limbs, joints, gingers, toes, nerves, blood vessels… just writing this now fills me with a sense of gratitude. 

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Often times we feel miserable in life simply because our mind is overly focused on:

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• What we don’t have
• What isn’t going right 
• What the problem is

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When really, we regain so much of our peace, joy and power and when focus more on: 

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• What we do have
• What is going right 
• Where the opportunities are

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Harness the ability to direct your attention and focus towards all of that which is good, right and blessed about this moment. 

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No matter your struggle, if you’re breathing, you’re good. 

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Take this as far and as seriously as you want to. 

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The more, the better, in my experience. 

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| ‘’Where attention goes, energy flows’’ 

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Placing your focus on the compelling future you’re moving towards, or the nightmare you’re moving away from will influence your behaviour greatly. 

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I’ve written more about this in a previous Mastery Letter all about making better day to day choices. Be sure to check it out after reading this. 

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Speech: Language

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Finally, the last contributing factor towards our current state is the language we use with others and ourselves, both internally and externally.

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The next time you’re feeling angry here’s a few tips that work like magic. 

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You might find yourself saying ‘’I am angry!’’ In your own head. 

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Notice what’s going on here. If I was to ask you, ‘’who are you?’’ You would respond surely by saying ‘’I am Harry’’ if Harry is your first name. 

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So when you say ‘’I am Angry’’, you are identifying with your state. You become the anger, or the sadness, or the pain, or the victimhood, whatever it might be. 

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Choose your language wisely and consciously. 

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It would serve better to say ‘’I am feeling angry’’, this way you clarify that anger is the feeling, it is not you as a person. 

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An experienced meditator might say ‘’I am noticing anger’’, which is even better for in saying this, one is detached from the feeling and simply witnessing it arise, without judgement as it passes through the scope of perception. 

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A funny one you can try is ‘’I am feeling so peeved right now!’’ 

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This makes me smile just to write it :D 

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Again, our language makes so much difference towards the state we feel. 

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When you use the word peeved instead of angry, you might just burst out with laughter. 

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This will instantly begin to shift your state and lift your spirit higher. 

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When you’re feeling low on motivation and drive, use the visualisation exercise I’m about to share with you and repeat words in your mind or out loud like ‘’I can!’’, ‘’I will!’’, ‘’I must!’’. 

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Experiment with all the different ways you can alter your language in order to alter your state for the better. 

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Remember the importance of language and do not identify with how you feel. 

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It is a passing event, like a shower of rain or a gusty wind. 

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All things pass, all things end, all states change sooner or later. 

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The less time spent being miserable, the better. 

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How we think using our inner voice also comes into play when for example we are faced with a problem. 

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We can say to ourselves ‘’this is a problem’’, or we can say ‘’this is a puzzle’’. One seems more fun than the other. This will affect your state. 

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We can say ‘’Why is this happening to me!?’’ Taking on the state of victimhood or we can choose to think ‘’how could this be a hidden blessing?’’. 

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I honestly have experienced so much benefit in choosing to think better like this. 

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Believe it or not, I once used to be heavily pessimistic. 

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You now have four keys to unlocking your most beautiful states at will. 

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Acceptance (always accept first, do not fight yourself or attempt to push negative thoughts away)

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Body: Physiology

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Mind: Focus

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Speech: Language

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Regarding best practices for dealing with negative thoughts, we can talk about this in another Mastery Letter, for it is indeed something I was plagued with during an earlier chapter of life. 

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If I was to share on piece of advice for intrusive negative thoughts right now, it would be to get into your body, and out of your head. 

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Physiology first… 

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Using Creative Imagination 

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If there’s some action to take from reading this Mastery Letter it is this… 

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Practice visualisation (creative imagination). 

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Read the book, Psycho-cybernetics by Dr. Maxwell Maltz. 

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It is incredibly insightful and full of golden nuggets. 

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In fact, it was because of this book that I began to practice visualisation regularly, before sleep and shortly after waking (usually straight after my workout as I lay in a pool of sweat) 

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That which we imagine gets fed into the mechanism of our nervous system, driving us towards achieving that very thing we imagined. 

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Simply put… if you repeatedly imagine, with great immersion, a vision of you getting into a fight or an argument, you’ll be very likely to find yourself sooner or later in that scenario. 

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Sometimes, if not often times this might take place unconsciously. 

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We call this… worry. 

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This is the unconscious visualisation of that which we do not desire, most often a negative outcome that we fear in some way. 

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Creative imagination is a human superpower that we can leverage in order to achieve great things, through altering our state and feeding our nervous system with the mission of reaching a perceived desired outcome. 

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This applies greatly when we speak about motivation, for the famous saying goes:

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Like William Arthur Ward said:

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| If you can imagine it, you can achieve it. If you can dream it, you can become it. 

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Visualisation is a way to bring together all 3 keys to state alteration (physiology, focus and language) 

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Try This Visualisation Practice

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An example exercise would be something like the following (you can even try this next time you feel deflated or need a boost of motivation) 

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• Sit or lay in a posture where you can relax and keep your chest open. 

• Deepen your breath and start to slow down, paying close attention to each breath for a few minutes

• With closed eyes, bring forth a memory of a time where you felt really motivated and driven

• Make the picture as real as you can (notice the colours, smells, textures, sounds and surroundings in detail), the more detailed the better. 

• Notice yourself in that memory, feeling so driven and motivated, notice your facial expression, breath and thoughts at that time and start taking them on in this very moment. (Do what your face, breath and thoughts are doing within the memory)

• Intensify and amplify the experience, copy yourself in that memory right now, you will feel your state shift. 

• Repeat the same for an imagined future outcome, make the vision as real and detailed as possible. Match your current physiology and language with that of the imaged future you.

• See yourself facing challenges with a bulletproof, unshakeable attitude, showing up, getting the hard work, and using strong language. Witness yourself getting knocked down and refusing to stay down. 

• Copy this future you, breathe like them, stand like them, lift your arms up like them (if that’s what’s happening) and speak like them (out loud is even better). 

• Get after it. 

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Make creative imagination a regular practice in your daily life. 

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When you need that extra lift, take 5-10 minutes to imagine your goal being achieved, see how joyful and unstoppable you feel upon reaching it, bring all the characteristics of that moment into this moment through the visualisation. 

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The mind knows not the difference between thought reality and direct experience. 

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If you’re the kind of person that says ‘’I can’t visualise’’, notice that whenever you’re worrying, you’re visualising an outcome you do not desire. 

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You’re already doing it, but unconsciously. 

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Use visualisation consciously and for the better, your life will improve greatly. 

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If you can’t see it, just sense it. 

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To Conclude

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So far we’ve explored some aspects of Motivation you may have heard of before, and some you might be reading about for the first time. 

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Motivation is a state just like any other, it comes and it goes. In order to generate motivation and demand we must embark on a journey of mastering our emotions. 

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This is done through Recognising, Accepting, Inquiring into and Non-Identifying with emotions when they arise, telling a new story about what they mean, ceasing the pattern of pushing emotions to the side or trying to medicate them with stimulation, so we can learn from them, and use them as a fuel that drives us forwards. 

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Distractions have to go, get clear on what yours have been until now. Bringing this to awareness is the first step in making the change. 

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You’ll realise that all along you were using distractions like food, drugs, alcohol, people, porn, TV and social media in attempt to change your state. 

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Through what you’ve read today, you now have tools that you can use to alter your state at will, without forcefulness, this is the start of generating motivation and other beneficial states you can use at your disposal. 

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It doesn’t end here, there’s much more to explore, such as ‘find your reason’, your ‘why’, your purpose that aligns your thoughts, words and actions with that of the highest good. 

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Those being, your guiding dream, your nightmare, and your identity. These are 3 of the most powerful driving forces when we consider behaviour choices and showing up at our best.

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If you’ve read all the way until this point, you’re one of the chosen few.

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Before you go, here are some things that could dramatically change your life for the better.

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Alpha Mind - Learn more about my minimalist meditation program that blowing minds daily (click here)

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The Unchained Method - If you struggle with addictive and self-destructive behaviour and are ready to break free and win back your self-respect then book a free 60 minute call with me and let’s talk. (Learn more here)

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5 Element Yoga System - The first time I got into a flow state was in Yoga. Not only has it given me incredible peace, it’s allowed to me to connect deeply with my body. (Learn more here)

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Free Stuff:

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The Mastery Letter: If you’re not yet signed up to this newsletter sign up here to have your mind blown weekly. I share deep dives into holistic health, self mastery and online business. (Sign up here)

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Habit Tracker: Download you free self accountability system. Track your habits and stay consistent in positive behaviours. (Download here)

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