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All of human suffering originates in thought.

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Whether you have a concern about the future or a regret from your past, it’s all taking place within your own mind.

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If you want to be happy and at peace, the biggest obstacle you’re going to face is your mind.

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The problem with most of us is that we haven’t been taught how to manage the mind.

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The greatest supercomputer on the face of the Earth is within our heads but where’s the manual?

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If you handed a complex and powerful piece of tech to anyone without an instruction manual just imagine what kind of problems that would lead to.

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When you experience a lot of anxious, intrusive thoughts the problem is not the thoughts themselves, it’s how you relate to them.

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This rules true on both the micro scale (thought) and the macro scale (life events).

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It doesn’t matter what happens in life, what matters is how you respond.

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So when a negative, scary, unpleasant or inappropriate thought enters your mind, what is the first reflexive reaction most of us have?

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It’s to push away the thought and try to “not have it”.

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The key to managing your mind is learning how to stop fighting with your mind.

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Pleasant thoughts arise, cool story bro. Unpleasant thoughts arise, cool story bro…

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The more you fight with them, the more they fight back.

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Doing this practically is called “objective observation”, “neutrality” or “equanimity”.

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While sitting or laying in meditation, or even while going about your daily life, unpleasant thoughts will surely arise.

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The measure of peace you cultivate in your life is largely dependant on how much you can accept these tiny events and let them be.

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Like weather, sometimes the sun shines, other times it’s raining, why make a big deal out of every fluctuation? 

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Let things move and change as they will, without labelling them as good or bad.

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The same applies to your thoughts.

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Action Step: Use this free body meditation audio in a quiet setting, free from disruption. When thoughts arise (especially the negative ones you might be dealing with) just allow them to be. 

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Don’t push, don’t pull. Notice the thought, acknowledge it, and return to the practice of being aware of your body.

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This takes practice of course, and courage indeed!

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For you must learn to let somewhat scary/ frightening thoughts present themselves to you without reacting to them or trying to get rid of them quickly.

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The more “neutral” you are about your thoughts, the more quickly they will be allowed to pass.

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It is resistance that causes thoughts to stick around so much.

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Consider the following equation:

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Suffering = Discomfort x Resistance

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Using Chanting (Dhikr) To Flood The Mind

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Intrusive thoughts are like unwelcome guests entering the mind whenever they please.

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Like weeds that invade a garden bed, if no flowers or vegetables are intentionally planted the weeds will surely take over.

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To stop the weeds from infesting your garden you have to fill the bed with plants you would prefer to be there.

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The mind is similar in its nature.

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When intrusive thoughts enter the mind and you resist them or fight back against them, they repeat more (as I said before).

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If this fighting is repeated in reaction to each and every intrusive, negative thought again and again it will soon become an automated thought habit.

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The law of habit applies to the mind just as much as it does to physical behaviours.

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Pushing a thought away and having it return more aggressively if repeated enough will make this process automatic, unconscious and even harder to control.

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The remedy? Flooding the mind with thoughts you would prefer to have.

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When I was bombarded by inappropriate, frightful thoughts about my sexuality I noticed that a thought habit had been established.

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Therefore if I was going to free up space in my mind again and regain mental control, I had to break the thought habit.

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The thoughts I chose to flood my mind with where repeated Quranic recitations. Verses from the holy scripture of Islam that I could recite (in my mind) from morning until night.

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The idea behind this was that if I could drown out the old thought pattern and replace it with a new one, then I’d get my life back!

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A few days of diligent practice went by. No results

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A week had passed, still no recognisable results.

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2 weeks in, I was exhausted (this practice takes a tonne of commitment and even obsession) and ready to give up, when something finally happened.

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I was on a train, reciting the holy verses repeatedly and suddenly I noticed how quiet my mind had become.

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It was hard to believe. I had experienced nothing but bombardment by unwanted thoughts for over an entire year.

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Finally… I tasted peace again.

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In that moment of deep joy and relief I pulled out a book and attempted to read it.

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To my amazement I could read again.

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I could concentrate!

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This moment was pivotal in my recovery from thought based OCD. I’ll remember it forever.

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From that point on I was more committed than ever to continuing the hard work of flooding my mind with only that which I was choosing to be there.

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Action Step: Get clear on verses from your holy scripture, prayers, chants, or affirmations of your own that you can flood your mind with.

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Warning: This takes an intense, even extreme level of commitment. You have to be vigilant from morning until night. Repeated the thoughts over and over again.

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Otherwise, the old intrusive thought habit will just continue to repeat.

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The Practice of Non-Judgement

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The mind is a generator of judgements.

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Whatever it comes into contact with it automatically labels and judges as good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, desired or undesired.

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Similarly to what we discussed earlier regarding letting thoughts go, we have to learn how to let go of the judgements we cast upon our own thoughts.

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If you want to be at peace that is.

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And if you want to break the habit of repeated, intrusive negative thinking.

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Why is this? 

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Once again, thoughts that are pushed away are the ones that come back the hardest.

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Therefore the key I’m sharing here is learning to see no thought as good or bad, but rather just as a thought.

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If I sound like I’m repeating myself, good, let it sink in.

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I call this technique “Starving The Gremlin”.

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In my experience, the intrusive, negative thoughts about my sexuality were like a gremlin constantly tapping on my shoulder, tempting me to arguing it.

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For the first year of this torture I argued every time it tapped.

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When I finally began to see it this way however, I allowed the gremlin to tap on my shoulder and instead of repeatedly turning my head and telling it to stop, I kept my eyes forward and paid it no attention.

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Here it is important to understand that I’m using a metaphor.

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I would not literally turn my head to argue with “the gremlin”.

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What I mean here is that I would turn my attention to it and begin mentally arguing, trying to reason with it and rationalise why what it was saying about my sexuality wasn’t true.

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Attention is like the internal eye. It is somewhat of a spotlight that you can point wherever you want at will.

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When deeply roped into the habit of arguing and engaging with intrusive, negative thoughts however, the attention is habitually being pulled all over the place.

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It is this scattering of attention that leads to what feels like short term memory loss.

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When the mind is scattered, you are not present and therefore do not register your experiences.

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While in conversation with people dear to me, I’d be trying to listen but my attention would be on the intrusive thoughts in my mind.

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I’d forget what they said, then when asked about it I’d feel ashamed and guilty for not being able to remember.

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Eventually I thought I was going insane. That I was losing my mind or developing dementia in my 20s.

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The fix? Learning to starve the gremlin and going all in on this practice.

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Soon enough when the gremlin would tap on the shoulder of my mind I would keep my attention straight ahead, noticing the thoughts arise, noticing the bait to argue, acknowledging this occurrence yet refusing to engage.

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Note here that not engaging with intrusive thoughts doesn’t mean saying “no” to them. That is an engagement! 

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In my experience I would thoughtfully say “ok” to whatever the gremlin would say, and that’s it.

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No arguing, no debating, no seeking assurance, none of it.

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Just… “ok”, and keep looking straight on (with both my physical and mental vision)

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This might seem hard at first, it takes practice. 

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I can assure you that this is one of the most liberating things you can learn and will in fact help you to understand how OCD/ repeated intrusive thoughts are presenting you with an invaluable opportunity.

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Action Step: See your repeated intrusive thoughts as somewhat of a gremlin that keeps tapping on your metaphorical shoulder, trying to get you to argue.

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Let it tap all it wants. Give it an un-bothered shrug, without giving it attention, similar to how you might treat someone if you were pretending they didn’t exist/ giving the silent treatment (don’t do that with real people).

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This is the technique that will stop you from being pulled into intense, negative thoughts spirals whenever a trigger arises.

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You Don’t Have To Do It All Alone

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I know you might feel alone. Like nobody understands what you’re going through

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I felt the same, especially when I was being bullied by intrusive thoughts.

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That the thoughts were too inappropriate and crazy to share with anyone. 

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That people might have looked at me as though I was going insane if I told them, or judged me heavily as though I wasn’t judging myself enough in the first place. 

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However… there was one brother I chose to share my dark thoughts with, and the surprise I received in response to that act of courage was something else.

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May Allah bless that brother of mine who took the time to hear me out and offer an ear of consolation.

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His name is Mohsen, and when I told him about the intrusive thoughts I was experiencing about my sexuality he told me something I would have never predicted.

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He told me how he had gone through something very similar some years before.

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I couldn’t believe it. A sense of feeling understood and not alone washed over me. This is what I was looking for, yet I did not know until our conversation.

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I wasn’t alone. And neither are you.

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This was all I needed to know.

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That someone else had been through what I was experiencing and had come out on the other side not only in one piece, but stronger and better than before.

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The morale of this story is that you never know what another person is going to say in response to your vulnerable, courageous expression.

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In fact, more often than not, the response is a surprise we would have never expected.

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Since that time I have experienced this again and again after saying something really difficult to another.

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Whether it be a hard truth or something I’ve been going through that I’ve been afraid to share, the person has responded in a way that has left me feeling surprised and with hope that it’s safe to tell the truth, even when it’s hard.

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Action Step: Find someone, at least one person who you can speak to about what you’re going through. Whether it be a friend, family member, stranger, or even a mentor like myself.

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You can’t go on struggling and suffering in silence, especially if it’s out of the fear of being misunderstood or feeling as though nobody gets what you’re going through.

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Just as I was surprised to hear how my dear friend related to what I was going through (via his own personal experience), so shall you be.

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Summary

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Obsessive, compulsive and intrusive thoughts are all rooted in one thing. That is fear.

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This fear drain you of the will to live, as it did in my case.

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Yet no matter how low you get, how hopeless you feel, and how convinced you are that there is no way out of this other than death… I urge you to keep going.

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If I could turn my mess around, so can you.

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For I too felt hopeless, alone and completely out of control.

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Learn to let thoughts go, flood your mind with prayer/ mantra/ affirmations or divine invocations, starve the gremlin that is the obsessive overthinking living inside your head, and most importantly seek help from somebody you can trust.

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If you’ve read all the way until this point, you’re one of the chosen few.

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Before you go, here are some things that could dramatically change your life for the better.

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Alpha Mind - Learn more about my minimalist meditation program that blowing minds daily (Learn more)

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The Unchained Method - If you struggle with addictive and self-destructive behaviour and are ready to break free and win back your self-respect then book a free 60 minute call with me and let’s talk. (Learn more here)

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5 Element Yoga System - The first time I got into a flow state was in Yoga. Not only has it given me incredible peace, it’s allowed to me to connect deeply with my body. (Learn more here)

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Free Stuff:

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The Mastery Letter: If you’re not yet signed up to this newsletter sign up here to have your mind blown weekly. I share deep dives into holistic health, self mastery and online business. (Sign up here)

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Habit Tracker: Download you free self accountability system. Track your habits and stay consistent in positive behaviours. (Download here)

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Thank you ever so much for taking the time to read this letter all the way until the end.

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As always, I wish you well.

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Take action, knowledge without implementation is useless.

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Stay sharp

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@usman_unchained

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