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Are You A Settler Or A Seeker?

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Social conformity can be deadly.

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Just look what happened during the Covid lockdowns.

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People (myself included) were being called villains and social threats for being un-vaccinated, while those willing to have their biochemistry altered with multiple vaccines (not proven to work) were celebrated as “local heroes”.

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Those who don’t follow the crowd are ridiculed in this life.

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Why? Because people want to feel like what they’re doing is right.

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Or should I say “the ego wants to feel what it’s doing is right”.

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The same applied back when I was in university.

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“You don’t have a job lined up?!” 

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“You don’t know what you want to do after graduation?!”

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The need to fit in (even with people you don’t really like) can, and often does lead to misery in the long run.

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When I would tell people that I didn’t want a high-status slave job, a grand house or a shiny car they looked at me as though something was wrong.

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I would tell my fellows how the ultimate dream for me was living on a piece of land, in a house that I had played a part in building, growing my own food, breathing clean air and drinking crystal clear water from a nearby stream.

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They would laugh, shrug or pretend to be interested.

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I knew they were judging me.

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And this is the problem. Judgement.

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Those who wish not to follow the crowd are heavily judged by the majority.

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Social pressure and mass disapproval are used as strategies to create conformity.

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Only the strong hold their ground under such pressure.

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Conversely, judgment from the minority towards the majority is also detrimental.

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It’s important not to judge a persons inherent value or worthiness based on where they are at in life.

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Again, in covid this was prominent.

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The vaccinated judged the unvaccinated as “dangers to society”, while the unvaccinated judged the vaccinated as conformist cowards. 

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I know for sure that I was casting such judgements.

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There are 2 components to living an authentic (and ultimately fulfilling), peaceful life:

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1- Find the courage to stay true even when the crowd is judging you

2- Accept others for where they are and don’t get caught up in judging them back

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The second point is often forgotten.

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Back then (and honestly still to some degree now) I judged those whom I was studying with.

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I’m working on being more accepting, for judgement only steals ones peace.

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So choose… what will you be in this life? Someone who settles for the consensus norm? Or someone who seeks a deeper experience of reality.

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Actionable Step: Notice the most prominent judgements towards others write them down so you can be more aware in future.

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The next sections will include guidance on how to deal with/ let go of such judgements (towards your self, others and life itself)

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Reclaiming Your Attention And Presence

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Like I said earlier regarding happiness/ inner-peace…

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I didn’t know how to “get there” but I certainly knew how not to.

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That is… until I came across a book that changed my life forever.

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The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

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If you haven’t read it, read it… or buy my book when I release it one day.

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This was the first time I had been introduced to the idea of “living in the moment”.

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Never before this had I consciously brought attention to whether or not I was present in the here and now.

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For most of us, being present is an accidental occurrence or something we don’t tend to do purposely.

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Watching the sunset, hiking up a mountain, exercising in the gym, running outside, training martial arts, listening to music, sexual intercourse or working on some important, meaningful task.

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These are just some of the scenarios where we might find ourselves utterly present and disengaged from the constant mental chatter our minds generate.

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 You can’t afford to be present by accident, it has to be intentional.

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Otherwise your default mode will be scattered, anxious and unhappy, and nobody wants that.

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A focused and present mind is a happy one.

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A scattered mind is miserable.

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Attention: The first step to stop spending so much time in your head and to start coming back to the present moment is to regain power over your attention.

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Attention is the spotlight of awareness that either moves by itself, is moved by external influences or is moved by your own will.

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Get into the habit of bringing your attention to any of the 5 senses. Right now as you’re reading, feel the chair you’re sitting on, the phone in your hand, your eyes on the screen, the sounds around you currently, and notice how everything around the screen you’re focusing on is blurred in your peripheral vision.

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Take this with you as something to notice.

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“Scattered eyes, scattered mind” - Usman Ali

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When your eyes are centred, so is your mind.

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When you eyes are scattered, so is your mind.

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Breath: Next, develop the habit of breathing through your nose and drawing attention to your breathing throughout the day.

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The first thing to abandon us when we drift away from the present into daydreams or anxious mental movies is the breath.

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When the breath is shallow, so is the mind and the body becomes tight/ irritable.

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When the breath is deep and attentive, so is the mind and the body comes fluid/ relaxed.

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Become aware of this breath-mind connection. The more seriously you take this, the better.

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Stillness: Finally, the most important key in all of this is to intentionally section/ schedule out time for stillness practice. 

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That means, doing nothing but sitting or laying but being intensively attentive. To what? To your senses, your breath or even the subtle sensations within your body.

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Right now are your shoulders tight? Can you relax them? What about your jaw? Can you relax that too? What about your eye muscles? Relax them also.

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A stillness practice must be done without doing anything else. It is passive and done alone, as opposed to active, which can be done in partnership with any activity.

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Active practice is why you might say something like “exercise is my meditation”.

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This would be your active practice. You need both a passive and active practice for true, life-penetrating success.

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An example of passive stillness practice is to sit or lay for 5 minutes, engaging in no activity and simply watching your breath until the timer goes off.

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Another would be to sit/ lay and visualise moments of deep gratitude and achievement in the past, then do the same with future events you aspire towards, feeling the accomplishment as though it is already done.

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The challenge is being serious about staying still in your body, not opening your eyes to check the time or look around (especially at your phone), and disengaging from the stimulation of the outside world.

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An example of active practice is to breathe mindfully while you’re out on a walk or to move in unison with the breath during a yoga routine.

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Another would be to train martial arts and enter a deep state of flow where your mind is clear and your body becomes the dominant place of residence.

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Secret Tip: 

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In my experience, the best time to practice stillness is after intense movement. 

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Train with the intent to gas yourself out, instead of going right back into your life in an amped up state, take 5 minutes to lay down and feel into your breath/ senses.

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Yin follows yang

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The Mindset Shift That Lead To 10 Years Without Missing A Day

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For years I struggled with consistency in my yoga and meditation practice.

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I would get into a routine for some weeks only to then find myself getting complacent and falling off track.

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Years passed and one day I realised how useless being inconsistent is.

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If you’re no further than you were 3 years ago, you may as well have never started.

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Meaningful, measurable progress is ONLY achieved through being consistent.

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How do you get consistent?

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Stop taking things so seriously!

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Furthermore, stop expecting so much from yourself and equating your self worth with how intense or long you can go for.

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This isn’t a competition…

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Back in the days of inconsistency I would expect myself to meditate or practice yoga for 60 minutes minimum and would feel like a failure if I did only 59!

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I would expect myself to train in the gym at maximum intensity every single day and be disappointed in myself for taking a day off or lowering the push for a day.

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Can you see how insane this is?

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The key to consistency is in seeing how insane you are.

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That for some reason you tell yourself that both you and your efforts are never good enough.

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This is perfectionism and poison for progress.

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So, here’s the secret key I learned that made all the difference.

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The Low Bar Method.

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Action Step: Set an expectation for your daily practice that is so low you would feel stupid not showing up for it.

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Stick to that low bar expectation no matter what.

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What will this do? 

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It will prioritise habit development over intensity.

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Habits are built on consistent, repeated, scheduled action.

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Meaning, if you do passive practice for 1 minute in the morning or 60 minutes, the developmental stage of the habit will be the same.

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The body-mind doesn’t care about how long you’re going for.

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It registers the action and the time it was done.

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So…

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Morning practice for a stupidly low minimum time.

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This requires a letting go of the ego. For the ego wants to impress others and 1 minute is not impressive to the masses.

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It won’t get you instagram likes and it won’t grant you the approval of others.

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But it will keep you consistent.

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Once the habit is developed you’ll know about it.

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Increase the time and you’ll be practicing without having to force yourself.

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Because habits are automatic and smooth.

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Quite literally, my low bar minimum was 1 minute a day.

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Note: In the beginning, even if you wish to practice for longer, DO NOT. 

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Let yourself get hungry for more, instead of scaring yourself away with too much intensity too soon.

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Get obsessed with being in the moment

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The difference between those who meditate, feel good for a few minutes, then return to their usual scattered selves is how much one draws attention back to the present in normal, waking life.

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Do not make “being present” exclusive to your seated or laying stillness practice. Let presence be seasoned over your entire life in all possible contexts.

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Every moment is a moment to be present in. Whether you’re on the toilet, with a dear friend, working on a project, or waiting at some traffic lights.

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This isn’t just for you, it’s for everything you do and everyone you interact with.

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If you want to be less emotionally volatile, practice being present everywhere and anywhere.

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If you want to reduce emotional vomiting on others, do the same.

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If you want to increase the quality of everything you do and experience, be present.

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A lack of presence is the very reason why you might go on holiday and not find enjoyment.

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Your body is there but your mind is not.

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Unfortunately, only a few people understand the importance and reward in putting these lessons to practice.

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If you’re reading this far, I know you’re one of them.

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Summary

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Don’t follow the crowd for the sake of fitting in.

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In most cases, it’s better to do the opposite to what most people are doing.

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People are so miserable today because they’re not living true to who they are.

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They’re trying to fit into someone else’s expectations of them, and that hurts the soul.

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So… build the courage to be your authentic self.

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Follow your curiosities and walk in the direction of your heart.

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That’s what will lead you to a more fulfilling and purposeful life.

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Be present in all that you do.

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Take time so sit and be utterly still each and every day.

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Get into the habit of playing the game of being here and now.

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Notice your mind drifting, don’t punish yourself for it, and gently draw your attention back to either of your 5 senses or your breathing.

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Breathe slow and deep.

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Gently centre your eyes.

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Bonus tip: Use a candle to help you in the beginning of your practice.

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Look at the candle flame and centre your eyes upon it.

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Breathe deep and slow, allowing thoughts to enter your mind while not trying to control them.

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We’ll continue on this topic in the next letter and cover:

• Detaching from the world
• Living in a state of flow every day
• Letting go and the art of acceptance

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If you want to master the art of being present, stop being bullied by your mind and 10x your focus/ inner-peace, check out my mind mastery program “Alpha-Mind” here.

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If you're tired of getting in your own way, living in fear of what might happen and feeling stuck, guilty or ashamed of your choices, and are ready to get serious about winning back your self-respect then read more about The Unchained Coaching Program and book a FREE 60 minute consultation.

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Learn to develop a consistent daily mindful-movement practice so you can move pain-free, gain flexibility, regulate your nervous system and learn about Chinese health with The 5 element yoga program.

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Or, enjoy any of the free gifts below that will help you suffer less, thrive more and master yourself.

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Free Gift 1: If you haven’t already, sign up to my mailing list and get free access to the yogic breathing technique that’ll take you from scattered to centred in less than 5 seconds.

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You’ll get 2 free stillness audio rides too. Including the practice I used, while laying down, for enhanced sleep, rest and recovery, which I still use and teach to this day. Sign up free here

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Free Gift 2: The self-accountability system that’ll take you from self-sabotaging to self respecting without having to spend a penny.

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Download yours now and get started right away.

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If you don’t want to buy anything, or get your free gifts no problem at all.

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Maybe a share of this letter will be your way of giving back.

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Either way, I’m grateful you’re here and took the time to read until the end.

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With that being said, I wish you well and as always…

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Stay sharp.

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@usman_unchained

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