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Hundreds of people are talking about personal development these days.

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Everyone is talking about morning routines, journalling, dopamine detoxing and practicing gratitude.

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Hmm…

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That last one…

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Gratitude?

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Giving thanks. Is that what that means?

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Writing 10 things you’re most grateful for every morning.

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And hoping that will change the way you think throughout the day.

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Well…

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Does it work?

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In my experience, it actually does.

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I found myself so much more positively minded and thankful for the big and small things in life that would usually go unnoticed.

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However…

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I’m realising now that after all this time, I’ve been missing the point.

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And what is that?

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You already know this.

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In fact, we all already know this. 

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But so few of us realise it about the practice of gratitude.

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And absolutely nobody is talking about this today.

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Except for one man. Wes Watson.

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He is who inspired me to write this letter.

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If you haven’t seen his content, go check it out.

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Be warned however, it can be very triggering for the soft hearted.

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So what is the secret of gratitude that nobody is talking about?

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Actions speak louder than words…

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The feeling of gratitude is a mere fraction of the expression of being totally grateful.

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So what, you feel grateful.

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It gives you a pleasant sensation in your body.

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But then what?

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Back to the same old behaviour patterns?

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Snoozing?

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Neglecting your body.

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Harming your body.

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Eating junk-food and sugary, processed sweets.

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Delaying your purpose.

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Procrastinating.

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And avoiding the important work you know is calling you.

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Are you truly grateful if you’re doing these things?

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Even if you feel gratitude as an emotion, if your actions don’t follow, then you my friend are also missing the point.

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Every snooze says “my life isn’t a miracle gift that I want to make the absolute most of”.

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Every binge eating session says “my body doesn’t matter and I’m not grateful for this God-given gift”

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Every cigarette, filthy content clip, negative thought, or any other act of indiscipline is a direct, non-verbal communication that says “I am not grateful”.

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Ponder on that for a moment.

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It doesn’t matter how grateful you feel.

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It doesn’t matter how many gratitude statements you write in your journal or recite in the mirror or while driving to work in the morning.

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If you’re actions are self-sabotaging and indisciplined, they aren’t in any way coloured with the light of gratitude.

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Imagine someone giving taking a lot of time and effort to give you a special gift.

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You open it, it’s a precious item.

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“Wow! Thank you so much, that’s so kind of you!”

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Then you put it to one side and forget about it.

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You don’t take care of it.

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Over time you even forget where you put it.

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Perhaps it’s a piece of jewellery.

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When the person comes to visit and asks you where it is, you say you misplaced it.

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But you said you were grateful and perhaps you even felt it too…

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This is not real gratitude.

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This is lip service and nothing more.

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And if you’re going to make meaningful progress in your life…

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You need to meet your gratitude with action.

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Act in accordance to the awareness that every faculty, opportunity, and ability you’ve been given is a priceless gift.

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If this was your primary mode of operation, would you be so wasteful of time, energy and resources?

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Surely not.

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If someone gave you £10,000 and you felt truly grateful for this gift, the action that would and should follow such a feeling is to spend or invest that money in the best of ways possible.

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Gratitude is so often no more than words or sensations.

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We don’t follow it with action.

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And never mind following with action.

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We do not act day to day, moment to moment with an attitude of gratitude.

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“I am grateful I have legs, I’m going to walk and run because I can and I’m blessed”

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“I am grateful I have money, I’m going to donate it or invest it wisely today, wasting non on things that will harm me”

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“I am grateful I have a computer and the freedom to create something meaningful, I am going to utilise my time and energy to build something that benefits myself and the world”.

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How have we been so blind to miss this?!

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Oh…

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Because we’re in fact, secretly incredibly ungrateful.

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You won’t want to admit this, and it might be a hard pill to swallow…

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But if your actions have not been aligned with what I’m sharing here, then you have indeed been incredibly ungrateful.

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I am guilty too.

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I’m not pointing fingers.

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This is a realisation I have just become aware of today.

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Being late… it’s an act of ingratitude.

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Wasting money… that is ingratitude.

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Procrastinating and avoiding the work that needs to be done, that is ingratitude.

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Just saying to my mum “I’m so grateful for what you’ve done!” Is not real gratitude!

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No wonder she has not responded well to such statements!

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I used to think something was wrong with her, that she was miserable for not smiling and appreciating my statements of gratitude.

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That she was somehow emotionally void or blocked from receiving words of kind affirmation.

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But no…

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My goodness…

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I’m realising this only now in this moment.

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She is not void of emotional receptivity.

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She is just real…

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And words of gratitude alone are not enough.

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And that’s the truth.

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A true expression of gratitude to my mother would be to work as hard and smart as I possibly can.

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To fulfil the dreams and goals I wish to achieve.

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And to actualise my purpose and role as a son.

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Taking the weight off her shoulders.

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Covering the bills after all this time she has worked.

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Buying the food.

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Getting married and brining children into the home.

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Following up on my words with true, unrelenting, loving, honest action.

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That is what she is waiting for.

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How foolish I have been…

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Prove Your Gratitude Through Sacrifice

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Sacrifice is in interesting notion.

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Its root is the same as the word “sacred”.

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To sacrifice means to give up or offer something of value, for the sake of receiving something of equal value or better.

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This isn’t necessary a “giving to receive”.

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It is different.

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It means giving up something with a higher purpose in mind, even if that thing is something you desire.

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Well… especially if that thing is something you desire.

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And to take it a next level, even when that thing is not just a desire but a need also.

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For example…

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Sacrificing food and water is what we call fasting.

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The benefits for this is many.

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Not only does the physical body benefit but so does the mind.

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Sharper concentration, a healthier food relationship, stable energy levels and fewer cravings.

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After fasting, the first sip of water or morsel of food is filled with gratitude.

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You become more grateful because you have abstained, even when you could have consumed.

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You’re taking core needs for human survival (eating and drinking), intentionally and purposely not fulfilling them, realising how little you actually need compared to what you thought you did, and building tremendous self control by not fulfilling the need even when you could have.

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This is one reason why fasting speaks “I am grateful” to The Higher Power.

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Fasting is healthy for the body, so doing it is also a way of saying to your Creator, “thank you for this body, I will take care of it”.

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The same goes for the mind. Through the act of fasting you’re saying “thank you for this mind, I will keep it strong”.

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When you’re indulging and consuming too much, you’re not only hurting your body and mind, you’re constantly communicating to your subconscious and God, that you do not have enough.

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Or rather, that you’re not satisfied and grateful for what you have.

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This is pure ingratitude. The opposite of being thankful which therefore leads to dis-ease, pain and hardship in due time.

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Food and drink are the first thing we need that we can also sacrifice for tremendous gain in character, health and quality of life.

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The next need is social connection.

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I’m writing these in order of easier to more difficult in my personal experience.

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When we stop chasing sexual pleasure, begin spending more time alone, withdraw ourselves from vampiric social circles and stop attending gatherings or places that bring our state down, we call this solitude.

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Take special note. This applies to both physical and digital spaces.

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If you’re spending hours on your phone, always talking to someone through call or instant messaging, or continually seeking stimulation through scrolling on social media, this is not solitude.

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Even if you don’t see people in real life, you’re still not allowing yourself to be solitary.

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Solitude means to be truly alone.

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So alone that you eventually come to realise how illusory the notion of being alone is.

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When you sacrifice social connection (both physical and digital) you are rewarded with something far greater.

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Connection to your self, that is self love.

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Connection to God.

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And a deep sense of inner peace which requires no to little external stimulation.

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This is the reward for sacrificing such a crucial need, that being social connection.

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Why does solitude communicate gratitude to The Higher Power?

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Similarly to the consumption of food and drink…

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The mind always feels like it needs more.

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It is not happy with the relationships you already have, so it says “more, more more”.

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More friends, more sexual partners, more approval, more options, more social experiences.

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This is the opposite being grateful.

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It is ever-dissatisfied.

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Like a stomach that is never full.

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Therefore, when you subject yourself to solitude, you communicate to The Divine “I am grateful just to be as I am”.

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You speak unspoken words that say “I am grateful because You are always with me”

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When you spend plenty of time alone and stop joining others in social gatherings that don’t serve you, your actions are saying “I am grateful for my space and I will not taint it”.

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You’re saying to your inner-being “You deserve to be around the best, most uplifting people, and to enjoy your own company without the need to escape”.

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Escape?

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Why would you need to escape something you are grateful for.

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Ah….

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You only desire escape from yourself because of the unspoken ingratitude within your heart.

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You are dissatisfied with the miracle of life.

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It’s not enough.

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Nothing is ever enough.

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Rather than “just being at peace with yourself” you want more.

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Stimulation, distraction, external connection.

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When you sacrifice these things and finally decide to renounce any attempt to escape yourself, you realise that all along that is what you were looking for.

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And this is the friend you always wanted.

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The one in the mirror.

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The one who you are.

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The third need we can sacrifice in the name of gratitude and higher purpose is sleep.

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When you voluntary choose action over sleep or wake up early and choose purpose over comfort, this is a great sacrifice.

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I saved this one until last because it is the one I find most hard to adhere to.

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For me, it’s easy to fast. (Thank you Allah).

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It’s easy to be alone and stay home (Thank you Allah!).

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But sleep…

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I’m still working on it.

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There is something about sleep that I find so delicious.

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And there is something about getting up, moving around and working while feeling tired that I find so incredibly unpleasant.

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I’m not sure why exactly that is.

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Perhaps we all experience tiredness that way?

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It would be interesting to know if you feel the same.

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Which of the three needs mentioned so far would be most difficult to sacrifice?

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Food/Drink, social connection, or sleep and its warm, secure comfort?

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The good news is, I’m making progress.

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Right now I could be taking a nap.

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That was in fact my intention while I had an hour of free time available.

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But I decided to write 1000 words instead.

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What got me to do it?

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Bringing to mind the fact that sleep is an incredibly valuable thing to sacrifice.

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That writing these last 1000 words is in some way communicating to God that I am thankful to have time to build my own business and provide value to the world.

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And that even though I am tired, I want to prove my gratitude.

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Staying awake and doing the hard work when you want to nap says “Thank you for this chance! To The Universe”.

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Waking up early and getting out of bed when you still feel tired says “Thank you for the safe conditions we live in! And think you for the chance to live another day! Let me make the most of it”.

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Getting out of bed even when your whole body is saying no… this says “I am not a slave to how I feel, and I am the leader of my ego, it does not lead me.”

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If you sacrifice sleep and comfort, you will earn your own respect.

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These sacrifices are where you get your self worth from.

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For they fortify your character and give you the greatest thing to be proud of.

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That is, the person you are.

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Unconscious Sacrifice

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All this talk about sacrificing those things that we need most (food, company, sleep) sounds challenging.

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Perhaps you’re reading this and thinking… “here we go again…”

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“Another guy telling me to sacrifice the things I enjoy in life…”

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If you do feel resistance, consider the following idea.

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You either sacrifice your worldly needs or you sacrifice your purpose - Usman Ali

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Which one will it be? The reason you were born is to become the greatest version of yourself and then give that person to the world.

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Through over-indulging and over-satisfying your needs, are you not therefore already making sacrifice but without noticing?

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Are you not already unconsciously sacrificing your higher purpose in life for sense pleasures, comforts and those things that distract you?

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You must choose…

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For you will, like all people reach your destination either with or without a deep sense of regret.

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“I should have lived more”

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“I should have done better”

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“I should have taken the call and pursued my purpose”.

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Do not over-complicate this…

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You know what your purpose is.

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Or at least, you know what you’re avoiding.

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That is the direction in which you must travel.

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The path you least want to walk…

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It is that path upon which your purpose reveals itself and continually unfolds.

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And in that unfolding you are invited into the version of yourself you most admire through trial, obstacle and fire.

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Will you take the call to adventure?

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Will you climb your mountain of gold?

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Or will you sacrifice it (as you already most probably are) for that which is in the valley.

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Security… this ensures the survival of your body but kills your soul.

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Company… this pacifies your loneliness but withdraws you from God

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Comfort… this protects you discomfort but makes you weak

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The message I wish for you to take from this chapter is…

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You either sacrifice your base needs (not completely) for inner-evolution and fulfilment of your higher purpose.

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Or you sacrifice your higher purpose for the over-satisfaction of your base needs, choosing weakness and familiarity over strength and legacy.

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No legacy?

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No fortress built for the next generation?

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No greatness for others to aspire towards?

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No inspiration breathed into the world?

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Sacrificing your potential truly is the most selfish thing you can do.

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Action Step:

All of these words will be a waste if not put to action.

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If you have read this far, you must take at least one significant action in the direction of what is being said.

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Here’s what I recommend.

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Take out a sheet of paper (or open your notes app).

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1- Write down a list things you know you’re avoiding in life.

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These should and most likely are things that intimidate you for the solution is not clear and easy.

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It could be improving your physique.

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Perhaps it is solving a stubborn skin condition once and for all.

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Or remedying a digestive issue/ illness that has persisted until now.

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Maybe it is to alleviate yourself from continual financial stress.

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To finally build that business.

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It could even be to leave everything for some time and travel the world.

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To find a marriage partner.

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Or to hone in on your self-discipline and adhere to a more structured, scheduled way of living.

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What is calling you that you’re simultaneously hearing and avoiding?

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Make that list now…

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2- Assign each of your entries to 1 of 3 lists.

• Food / Drink
• Love / Connection
• Sleep / Rest

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3- Take an honest look at the 3 lists and be true with yourself about which list needs cleaning up the most.

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Ask yourself the question:

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“Which of these problems, if finally solved would make the greatest positive change in my life?”

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My friend…

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It’s time to make solving that problem or list of problems your number one priority.

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This will require you to begin sacrificing and reducing the indulgence of the associated base need.

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Make sure you do this exercise!

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Summary

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True gratitude goes beyond words.

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It is communicated either to those you love or God Himself (or whatever name you assign to The Divine) through action.

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And what actions communicate your gratitude best?

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Ones of sacrifice.

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And what is it that is best sacrificed in order authenticate your gratitude?

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Those base needs whose over-indulgence in is making you weak.

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You either:

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1- Sacrifice the experience of becoming the best you and giving your gift to the world (resulting in deep regret)

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Or…

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2- Sacrifice the base needs you so love to indulge in (food, company and sleep) in the name of becoming the best version of yourself, discovering your gift, and offering that gift to the world.

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Of course, resulting in the true sense of fulfilment everybody is seeking.

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The right choice seems obvious.

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Especially now that we have brought awareness to it.

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That is the first step.

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However, even with awareness, so many of us choose to settle and not rise.

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What will you do?

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I applaud you for reading this far.

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You are one of the few.

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And if you have reached this point, the chances are you are no normal human being.

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You are one of the chosen few. 

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One of those who seeks greater things in life other than material gain and sense pleasure.

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One you seeks fulfilment of the soul and actualisation of purpose.

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Well done…

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Make sure you take the recommended action if you have not already.

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Of course, the path of solving the problems you’re avoiding warrants it’s own set of these letters.

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Be sure to read what I have already published.

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The past letters could help you greatly.

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Especially this one.

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And before you go I have some invitations for you.

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Here are all of my available paid programs and free resources.

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I’m not ashamed to sell what I have worked so hard on and neither should you.

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Alpha Mind (Limited Offer 50% Off) - Learn to master your mind for bulletproof concentration, focus and unshakeable inner-peace with this self-lead course (click here)

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The Unchained Method - Break the chains of self-destructive behaviour patterns and become the person you most admire through 1:1 personalised coaching, so you can give that person to the world. (Book A Free Coaching Call)

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5 Element Yoga System - Establish the daily habit of mindful movement for health, longevity and serenity of mind with this self-lead course. (Start your yoga practice)

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Free Offerings:

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The Mastery Letter: Get your mind blown weekly and read the things about my personal life, discoveries and experiences I don’t share anywhere else ever Thursday at 6:30pm (sign up free)

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Habit Tracker: Download you free self accountability system. Track your habits and stay consistent in positive behaviour change. (download here)

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With that being said.

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Have a great week.

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Stay sharp.

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And stay blessed.

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@usman_unchained

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