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Introduction

Let me tell you some of my story…

During my childhood and even mid-teens, I always felt like a victim. 

Bullied by my brother and my Father every day…

Or having racist slurs shouted at me on my walk home from school. 

I remember having to decide each day…

“Should I take the short-cut home and potentially face the racist bullies? Or should I take the longer route, the safer one?” 

Often times I would choose the shorter path, knowing that there would be trouble waiting for me. 

Even knowing so… something in me wanted to face it. 

This isn’t to make out that I had a ‘tough’ childhood.

I had everything I wanted.

At least, materially…

"Were my deeper needs fulfilled?”

As for most of us, no they were not. 

Home did not feel safe, 

For I felt a sense of powerlessness, weakness and threat no matter what material comforts I was given. 

“Is dad going to come home and start shouting again?” 

“When will my brother stop insulting me and instead be the encouragement I need?” 

As time takes its natural course these things come to an end. 

Yet the wounds still remain in the heart.

The self image is fractured. 

Ever feeling like a victim, powerless and without the capability for self-defence.

Afraid of conflict, avoidant and timid. 

Lacking confidence in stepping up as a protector for those who I love and care for. 

If I want my wife-to-be and children one day to feel safe around me I must overcome this obstacle that has been placed before me. 

All Men Should Learn To Fight

Even though I faced the threat of racist bullies most days after school, I never found myself getting into fights. 

I always avoided conflict. 

I’m grateful for this, of course, for who knows what could have happened…

Yet although unscathed, I never did learn to stand up to those who would attempt to dominate me.

Instead, I adapted into somebody who was incredibly ‘likeable’. 

I could turn my enemy into a friend through gestures of niceness. 

This is how I found a false sense of security and safety. 

As I write this I am 30 years of age. 

Still, thankfully having never got into a street fight. 

Yet conscious for the need to be able to defend both myself and those whom I love if necessary. 

“It is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener at war” 

Who knows what the future will bring. 

Perhaps one day we will be forced to fight for our freedom. 

Maybe there will be some strange turn of events that leads to a physical conflict that simply can not be avoided. 

I would rather be ready and able to inflict harm, choosing not to do so unless absolutely necessary than remain incapable. 

A man who presents himself as harmless is a grave danger to those around him. 

While the man who is dangerous and virtuous enough to hold back his fists creates an environment of safety for others. 

I want to be that man…

A man that knows that he can, yet chooses not to. 

Unless it is absolutely called for. 

There are fighters who speak on the phenomena I am pointing to.

That being, the sense of safety created through inaction and restraint, knowing one is fully capable. 

Right now, I don’t have that…

I’m aware it is a weakness of mine that has manifested in the past through emotional instability and the taking advantage of those weaker than me. 

Bullies are just hurt people who long to be relieved of their sense of powerlessness. 

Finding false relief in the oppression and domineering of those weaker than them. 

Women…

Children…

An honest man who has lived through similar events to I will admit to his shadow. 

That within the dark corners of his psyche is a bully…

One who will take advantage of those physically weaker than him. 

I wish to integrate this shadow and create safety for myself and others instead. 

As you may be aware of if you’ve read other pieces of my writing… (insert link) 

I find most meaning in identifying my weaknesses, working hard to convert them into strengths. 

There is no greater fulfilment than that which comes with personal transformation. 

“Happiness and virtue are inseparable” - Stoicism

For me, that is what life is about. 

That is my life’s work. 

To turn the weaknesses that God has dealt me into attributes of strength instead.

It is in this that I find my life’s work. 

My contribution to others. 

And my very own personal heroes journey. 

I encourage you to do the same in your life. 

Working On Weaknesses

Through committing to living a more disciplined life I have witnessed the difficulty of rising early in the morning change smoothly into an act of ease. 

Working and aligning with my purpose, while others are still sleeping…

It feels good I must say. 

I recently found myself thinking, “What’s next?” 

“What is the next weakness I will be called to transform into a personal strength?” 

The answer soon came…

Cardio.

I have trained my body through lifting weights, callisthenics and yoga for over a decade now. 

Yet cardio has always remained a weakness. 

There’s something so incredibly uncomfortable about getting the heart rate to such an elevated level and maintaining that sensation for a prolonged period of time. 

Some people love it…

I personally have felt towards such training, deep disdain. 

Although… When I reflect on the man that I am to become, the protector, the provider, the walking example of strength in virtue, do I see a man with this weakness? 

Certainly not. 

I see a man incredibly capable of physical exertion. 

An athlete. 

Who knows what we’ll need to run either from or to in the future.

Once again, I’d rather be prepared. 

Although pain-staking in the beginning, soon enough the same process takes place. 

Begin working on a weakness…

Knowing and expecting it to be incredibly miserable at first. 

And watch yourself learn to love the thing you once had hate for as your ability improves. 

Within a few weeks I’ve gone from disliking and avoiding cardio to finding such joy in it. 

Running outside while most people are still sleeping. 

Empty roads and still silence with just me, the sound of my steps and breath. 

It’s hard not to smile partaking in such an act when inevitable discomfort is embraced. 

Another weakness was once again instead becoming a strength. 

“What next?” I thought. 

“What will be the next weakness for me to overcome?” 

And that’s when it happened…

That’s when the decision was placed before me in the perfect moment. 

A friend of mine contacted me about taking part in an amateur boxing fight. 

Both scared yet knowing how necessary this was for me, I said yes of course. 

Although there were, I must say, fibres of my being that certainly wanted to choose the safer option instead. 

To remain the “nice-guy”, the “harmless one”…

After 8 weeks of intense training I will face my very first fight at the age of 30. 

I’m terrified. 

Yet excited at the same time. 

I know this is what I need. 

However the outcome…

I need to know what it feels like to fight back. 

For I never did stand up to the bullies in or out of home…

Thank you Mike for this incredible opportunity. 

May it unfold well. 

3 Weeks Out…

Currently, I’m less than 3 weeks out from fight night. 

Am I ready? 

I can’t say that…

Yet I can say I am far more prepared than I was before. 

I fear that I will lose…

Yet simultaneously I am being presented with incredible life lessons throughout the journey. 

Lessons I believe you will benefit from. 

Lessons I wish to remember. 

That is the intention of this Mastery Letter.

To compile the most insightful and life-applicable principles that are revealing themselves to me as I train for this fight and reflect on experience. 

There are oscillations of excitement and fear, confidence and feeling un-ready…

Who knows how the outcome will turn out. 

All I know is that I must see this through…

So… let me share with you the most valuable lessons I have learned thus far from my training. 

It’s surprising how insightful this sport of combat is turning out to be. 

I think I now understand why martial arts and spirituality have gone hand in hand…

May you find value in the lessons I have so far uncovered, through showing up and stepping up to that which I am afraid of…

Joy In Submission 

Although we are beings of free will, there seems to be great joy found in submitting our will to those above us. 

This is not to be confused with worship.

There is only one worthy of being worshipped, yet if we examine our lives honestly we will see that we are submitted to certain others. 

A trainer, a coach, is someone we submit to with trust that we will more likely reach our desired destination in following their guidance. 

For following our own will alone is not enough. 

We will always try to make things easy, inclined towards the safer option if offered the choice. 

Submission is to remove personal choice and to follow orders instead. 

This can also be called obedience. 

I did not expect that I would be saying this…

But there is great joy in submitting to those who know better than we do. 

It requires humility, and such is rewarded with a strengthening of body, mind and heart. 

I found myself in training, fearing the intensity that was about to be thrust upon us, uncertain as to whether or not I could deal with it…

Only to be surprised that whatever my coach said, I would do. 

“More, more…” 

Internally I found myself asking for more intensity, difficulty and trial. 

Not from a masochistic centre but rather from the knowing that one is capable of far more than expected before. 

When we submit our will over to those who know more than we do, we are far more likely to expand into realms of potential we may have not yet considered possible. 

Allow yourself to be pushed beyond what you feel prepared for. 

It is vital that the one you follow wishes only the best for you. 

That they recognise your ability even when you do not. 

This applies when being coached in physical, mental, professional and spiritual pursuits. 

You must trust…

Awaiting you in exchange for this is the surprise of being far more capable than you once imagined. 

When your coach or guide says go… 

Go without hesitation.

The ego will resent. 

While the soul grows stronger. 

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The best leaders can follow well.

Calculated assertion 

Having never been confident in conflict and combat before, I have noticed within me a tendency to remain “on the back foot”. 

What does this say? 

That I am willing not to commit to my strikes. 

For what? 

The fear of consequence. 

How we do one thing is how we do everything. 

This seemingly negligible observation shows up across all aspects of my life. 

One foot in, yet one foot out. 

Afraid of fully committing…

For that may come with the pain of being hurt. 

Blind to the fact that it will also come with the surest chance of victory. 

A taller opponent in boxing must be attacked from up close. 

This is a strategy that removes their strength against you, that being their range. 

Up close, the mind may perceive this as a compromised position, yet it is in reality the safest and surest way to move. 

At this close range, the opponent is rendered incapable of generating power as when you are kept at a distance. 

Paradoxically, keeping distance from a taller opponent only results in taking more hits. 

It is in fact both safer and more effective to enter close quarters and engage from there. 

The risk is high if this is done without calculation. 

However when such assertion is carried out intelligently, the advantage is gained. 

Getting up close is impossible to do without the willingness to commit and accept the possibility of taking damage. 

Be overly concerned about getting hurt and you will surely be hurt more. 

Accept the risk, commit, get up close with both feet in and you will surely increase the chances of victory. 

Apply this across all domains of life. 

Notice the tendency to undercommit due to the fear of being hurt. 

In love, in business, in whatever it may be…

Only in remaining timid is failure guaranteed. 

Stepping in fully may not provide certainty of success…

Yet when done from a well-calculated, calm centre, success is degrees more likely. 

Accept getting hit, in the long term you will take less damage and gain more progress towards the desired outcome.

Eyes on target 

For most, if not all starting out in combat sports, the flinch is one of the first reactive tendencies to overcome. 

Naturally we look away when something is approaching us at speed, especially when that can pose a threat and is targeted towards the face. 

The eyes close, the head turns away. 

This is the surest way to defeat not only in boxing, but across all domains of life. 

One must learn to keep eyes on the opponent at all times. 

For when the gaze deviates out of forgetfulness or fear of being hurt, the odds of being hurt yet again increase. 

That which you avoid will surely find you. 

While looking straight down the barrel allows one to evade and counter effectively when strikes are fired. 

You can not slip past your opponents attack if you are looking away. 

If the eyes have deviated from the target it is also certain that the opportunity to fire back will be missed. 

In boxing, doors open and close rapidly. 

There is an incredibly short window of time where one can both avoid and deliver strikes. 

That window can be capitalised on if and only if the eyes remain on the target and flinch away not. 

Drill out the pattern of flinching. 

When damage is dealt or threats present themselves on the way to your desired destination, be distracted not. 

Continue ahead on the straight path. 

For in doing this you will not only be able to side-step potential set backs…

You will be far more likely to see doors open when they do. 

Stepping through them in the short window of time before they close. 

Keep your eyes on the target.

Observe this closely. 

Going Beyond

If you wish to box or engage in any other combat sport, you will certainly be pushed to your physical, mental and emotional limits. 

Heavy hits will be received. 

The tank will be emptied. 

Doubt will creep in and fear will whisper…

“I can not continue on” 

“I have nothing left” 

You must be willing to go to look over the edge of ability, into the abyss of possibility. 

There I was… sparring with an opponent 30 kilograms heavier in weight than I was. 

Heavy blows had been received to the head. 

Never had I taken a beating like that before. 

I felt the dizzy, concussed, and as though I had no fight left in me. 

“Get back in there now!” My coach shouted. 

Once again… submission really does allow for great discovery. 

I lifted my hands, re-established a guard and from some unknown reserves, began throwing punches. 

Within a moment I had moved from empty to full once more. 

The tiredness had vanished. 

Where was this new-found energy coming from? 

I do not know. 

All I know is that through boxing I have been able to witness this experience more than just once. 

When you “think” you’re done, you’re not. 

When your body says “please stop” you know not what abundant energy lays dormant within, ready to be unleashed. 

Only in combat have I been able to experience this. 

Others may find this in ultra-athletics. 

Find it however you must. 

Just know that there is a realm from which energy and capacity to continue are granted to those who are willing to go beyond the limits. 

There is no going there without fear. 

For the cave is dark and intimidating indeed. 

However…

It is the cave we fear most that contains the treasure we yearn for. 

When you think you’re done… you’re not. 

Getting Hit Is Good

In boxing there’s a well known principle. 

Keep it simple, “hit and don’t get hit”. 

This seems obvious, yet there’s more to it. 

The only way to learn how not to get hit is by getting hit.

Let me tell you a short tale. 

One night, while sparring an opponent shorter than me I was landing many successful hits. 

Due to being kept at a distance, finding it hard to hit me, to began to bull-doze. 

Closed up into to corner he began landing several body shots. 

My defensive strategy for dealing with this was to tie him up in a clinch (essentially hugging). 

From here he could deal me no damage, unable to generate power. 

I would then turn him so his back was against the ropes instead and push him off me. 

Effective as this may be, there was an issue. 

During the clinch my elbows were flared outward, leaving my chin wide open and vulnerable. 

The next time I decided to grab hold of him, he saw this opportunity and landed a precise, clean uppercut straight up the middle. 

I felt an incredibly sharp pain in my jaw and immediately chose to stop due to concern. 

For an entire week I could hardly open my mouth without feeling pain and stiffness. 

Never had I experienced this before. 

Therefore never had I been taught the incredibly valuable detail to holding a solid guard. 

Elbows in tight… especially when up close. 

Nothing teaches a lesson like getting hit, and getting hit hard. 

Pain is a teacher. 

It comes to us in order for us to adapt correctly. 

Perhaps you have an allergy right now that is spiking inflammation and manifesting as a painful or uncomfortable skin condition. 

The pain of this will present itself until you learn to stop subjecting yourself to that which is triggering the allergy. 

As a result you will know better what your body responds to in such ways. 

Similarly in boxing, through taking hits, weak spots in ones defence are revealed. 

These come as learning opportunities, from which one can then adapt. 

Therefore pain is not innately a bad force that we should consider evil or attempt to avoid at all costs. 

Living fully comes with the inevitability of being hurt. 

Only in being hurt can we learn. 

When you fall down a hole once, you’re less likely to fall down the same hole again. 

I’ll never forget to keep my elbows in tight all because of that moment. 

I hope…

Thank you Peter for landing so precisely. 

Without Reflection One Can Not Learn

The above principle of learning through experience is false without active reflection. 

“Why did I get hit?” 

It was in asking myself that question and receiving feedback from my peers that allowed me to course correct necessarily. 

The answer to the question was that my elbows were flared wide open. 

Keep the elbows in! 

This became the adaptation that I am now drilling continually until it becomes second nature. 

“We do not learn from experience, but rather from experience reflected upon.” 

Without the voluntary act of analysing one’s experience, assessing the reasoning behind one’s failures and mistakes, the same mistakes will likely be repeated again. 

This is a foolish way to live. 

Yet so many choose not to reflect. 

Why? 

It is humbling to look into one’s shot-falls. 

To honestly assess one’s poor ability. 

Yet were we not all beginners one day? 

The child does not yet have an ego. 

The beginners mind is embraced and learning is therefore rapid. 

The more we embrace being learners in life, accepting mistakes and failures, the more quickly we can both learn and improve. 

Denying our mistakes leads only to their repetition. 

The true fool is the one who despises being seen as foolish. 

Reflection requires humility and realistic expectations of our certainly imperfect nature. 

The denial of learning is the surest way to remain unlearned. 

Embrace your failures and accept that there is no avoiding mistakes in any pursuit. 

Reflect honestly, take feedback and adapt as necessary in order to improve. 

This is what I have referred to several times in previous Mastery Letters as the iterative process. 

Continually and forever improving. 

The internal opponent 

As I write this, I’m 2 weeks out from my very first boxing bout. 

I have never fought another human being before, especially not in front of an excited crowd. 

When I first signed up for this, I was set on not telling anybody. 

All I wanted to do was to to train intensely, facing the fear of combat, learning to defend myself and show up on fight night. 

No supporters, no friends, just me. 

I thought this was noble and somewhat honourable. 

Until I found out that in order to participate in the event I “had” to sell 10 tickets at a minimum. 

And so it was decided…

I would announce publicly that I was fighting. 

Meaning what? 

That if I lost, everybody would know about it. 

The intention behind not wanting people to know was not of honour. 

It was of fear…

I feared being seen in defeat. 

I feared losing and having people know about it. 

Honestly, I’m still afraid of losing, especially while others are witnessing. 

Yet it must be embraced… 

This is just one of the many ways our inner opponent can stifle us in life. 

There is no outer opponent. 

It is you against you. 

All things external are only means for redirecting us back to the internal. 

The greatest opponent is the one residing within our hearts and minds. 

The one who fears…

The one who would rather remain comfortable. 

The one who is overly concerned with the self-image, seeking to protect it at all costs. 

This is the real fight. 

The war within. 

Come to know yourself through clear, careful and honest examination. 

When you feel moved in a particular direction, ensure the reasoning behind this is made clear. 

Just as in my case, you may be surprised to find what looks like honour to be instead fear. 

FEAR - False Estimations Appearing Real

“If thoughts of the future invoke fear in you, know that it is not the thing itself that makes you afraid. Your thoughts and estimations are what make you afraid. This you can recognise at any moment” 

Leading up to my first fight on Dec 16th this year (2023) I have felt anxious time after time. 

Not wanting to attend training sessions, negotiating with the mind and even considering pulling out. 

Yet what continually proves itself true is the most valuable lesson I have learned so far from this pursuit. 

Things are never as bad as you think they’re going to be. 

Never…

The mind will always over-estimate how bad a happening might be. 

To the mind, pain is more painful that it actually is. 

Dread is more dreadful that it really turns out to be. 

Fear is most often a product of false estimations appearing real. 

We consider such estimations real for there is reason to believe in them.

Yet when the reality is experienced, it never goes how we imagined. 

Most of us experience this over and over again yet fail to recognise what is actually happening. 

There is an apprehension about the future. 

The mind creates its estimation which is often inflated and exaggerated. 

Thoughts and feelings occur which can in worst cases lead to self-sabotage, avoidance and dishonour. 

Yet when one feels the fear and continues on anyway, the estimations of the mind reveal themselves to be incredibly inaccurate. 

There was no reason to feel so afraid after all. 

So far, that is the greatest lesson I have been blessed with during this fight camp. 

Nothing… absolutely no-thing is ever as bad as you think they are going to be. 

Keep that one close…

And recognise when is plays out in your life. 

To Conclude

As an amateur boxer I know there’s so much for me to learn, yet these are some of the most key lessons I have learnt so far. 

In 2 months of training, boxing has presented many deep, meaningful lessons. 

I believe all combat sports, in fact any quest for skill and the overcoming of one’s physical and mental limitations serves as a gate to deeper wisdom. 

All things external are only to redirect us within ourselves. 

If you’ve been considering combat sports for some time, I encourage you to take one up. 

Especially if your story is similar to mine and you’ve struggled with conflict throughout life. 

I was never a fighter. I never stood up to the bullies that tried to overpower me. 

Now… the story is changing. 

It’s never too late to build a better reputation with yourself. 

I wanted to box for some years before it finally happened. 

All with happen when it is supposed to. 

First I will say, commit to your own self mastery and engage in the organic, iterative process of personal development. 

Boxing, or another combat sport will come when you’re ready. 

Secondly, sign up for an amateur fight and give it everything you’ve got. 

If you’re both scared and excited by the idea of that, it’s going to be perfect for you. 

Desire plus fear is the way to go. 

For that which your soul wishes before lays beyond the body’s comfort zone. 

I thank you as always for reading until the end of this Mastery Letter. 

Be sure to check out my other writings, there’s a tonne of value here for free. 

And also… 

Enjoy this free stuff! It is my pleasure to in some way add value to your life. 

FREE Stuff

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Until next time. 

Usman