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Mastery Tip: Make a list of the things you want most in life. Choose one of them and ask ‘’why?’’. Imagine you’re speaking to somebody you care about, helping them find the true reason behind their desire with the use of additional questions.

Explore this with curiosity and sincerity. 

You will find (I pray) the truth beneath your deepest desires. 

Now you can save years by focusing on finding ways to fulfil your core needs, as opposed to pursuing things that only grant a sense of temporary gratification.

The Nightmare

“We are more driven by the avoidance of pain than we are by the pursuit of pleasure” 

Will a mouse run faster away from a hungry cat, or towards delicious cheese?

Interestingly, a scientific study showed us that the fear of a cat will drive a mouse more-so than the desire for food.

Similarly, our fear of loss often spurs us into action more than anything else. 

The most powerful are those who have something worth fighting for, that is, something they wish not to lose.

What are you fighting for? 

What do you stand to lose? 

Sit with these answers and contemplate them very deeply. 

This might create fear in you. It would be strange if it did not. You should be afraid, just like the rat would be frightened by the cat coming up behind it. 

I you do not know your dream, then get to know your nightmare. 

Human beings are not so different… 

We desire the same things deep down. 

To feel special, to love and be loved, to feel good enough, to have confidence… 

Regret is a common fear and is often more powerful than both rejection or failure.

The fear of regret often stems from missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential.

Is there something you’re avoiding that you know you’ll regret not having faced? 

Is there a standard you’re settling for that you’ll surely regret not having increased sooner? 

That person you’ve got your eye on, the one who you find incredibly attractive and curious… 

Would you rather pursue them and be rejected, or regret not having tried at all, while they go off with somebody else?

Another common human fear is that of death.

It takes a person to hear that they’re going to die of a heart attack in order to change their lifestyle. 

The warnings were there beforehand, but it’s the proximity of death that inspires incredible action. 

Do you fear dying? 

What if today was your last day? 

Would you be happy with how you lived today? 

Would you regret not expressing love courageously or resolving grudges?

When people are in their final days, the same regrets arise to the surface. 

It is said that we would regret having not done more good acts for others. 

To have worked too much… 

Not allowing ourselves to be happy and present in the moment, always thinking about the future.

For me, I feel as though I would regret not knowing that I did my absolute best. 

To feel as though I had wasted my time. 

To feel as though I had let down those I loved most. 

My mother’s struggle motivates my relentless pursuit of success. 

How can I stay in bed while she is up early in the morning getting ready for work? 

I need to lessen the load upon her. She has sacrificed so much… 

I fear my mother dying before having been given the opportunity to truly live, to discover herself and be genuinely happy. 

I fear the idea of not spending enough time with my father before he passes too. 

What would I regret most, working too much or letting my mother spend potentially her last years slaving away, knowing I could have done better? 

It is obvious for me in this moment, I would regret letting my mother down more. 

An aspect of my dream is to retire her or at least lighten her load significantly.

What do you fear most? 

What would you regret having not done if today was your last? 

If you were on your death-bed, what would you regret most? 

What is it that you would change most if you could? 

Would you regret having not done that if the opportunity were to be missed? 

The fear of regret and disappointment are two of the greatest driving forces that can inspire us to live a more disciplined life. 

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Discipline requires us to take action on the things we know we should do, even when we do not feel like it. 

Our nightmare can shed light on what is actually most important to us. 

It can kick us into action, for fear drives action greater than desire. 

Mastery Tip: Ask yourself the questions listed above. Answer them honestly.

Please oh please do this exercise. 

Clarifying your dream and nightmare are absolute essentials in ensuring discipline is maintained throughout the highs and lows of life. 

Without discipline your nightmare will surely come true.

Prayer, Virtue & Being Tested

The point of this Mastery Letter is to help you in becoming more disciplined in your day to day life, without constantly needing another person holding you to account. 

Achieving this necessitates making better everyday choices.

It’s the small choices that compound and shape our fate over time.

The future is created in the present moment. 

While our future may be ordained, the power of prayer remains potent.

“Nothing but an invocation can avert a decree” - Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) 

The only thing that can change one’s fate is the power of prayer. 

Our prayers reflect our innermost desires and intentions.

They serve as a call to action, an embodiment of our aspirations and the virtues we wish to call upon. 

Courage, discipline, patience, gratitude - these virtues are not mere words. 

They demand manifestation through deliberate action. 

Pray for patience and you will be tested to accept that which you can not control. 

Pray for courage and you will be called to walk through fear. 

How else might your prayers be answered with tests? 

In fact, is that happening for you right now? 

Life does not happen to us, it happens for us. 

Pray, then bring that prayer to action. 

Our prayers, often seeking virtues, have the power to shape our character.

Surely you have heard your mother say in a moment of anger: 

“God give me strength” 

She is calling upon God to grant her the virtue of strength. This is done unconsciously, a perfect example of how our innate nature is to call upon the divine for virtue. 

Pray for virtue. Things like patience, discipline, courage, confidence, humility, grace, generosity, perseverance, faith and more. 

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You will then be called to embody such virtues through the test of daily choices. 

No strategy can outperform a virtue. Courage does what courage does, regardless of the situation. 

Discipline does what discipline does… regardless. 

The embodiment of these virtues becomes a testament to your prayers. Failing to do so only increases suffering and pain.

Use the power of virtues to drive disciplined action in every moment. 

Short Term Consequences 

In the pursuit of disciplined living, weighing the immediate consequences of our choices is crucial.

Consider this personal example: 

In the shower, the impulse to self pleasure arose. 

Before acting on it, I asked myself: 

Would giving in to temptation lead to feeling proud or disappointed?

The answer was of course, disappointed. 

If you wish to become somebody you’re proud of, you must begin making choices that you’re proud of having made. 

Confidence increases when we keep the promises we have made with ourselves. 

This builds internal trust.

Integrate these questions into your decision making process, especially when faced with temptation or difficulty.

If self-betrayal does not lead to disappointment you must clarify your nightmare more and bring it closer. 

In this case, you are surely under the illusion of inadequacy. 

You deserve to fulfil more of your potential, to raise the standards and live a virtuous life. 

Not only do you benefit yourself in being virtuous, you also benefit others. 

Mastery Tip: Get into the habit of asking yourself, especially when facing temptation “What action would I feel proud of myself for having made?” And acting upon the answer. 

Virtue Builds The Dream

Virtues are not just preferable traits of character. 

They are absolutely essential in actualising your dreams.

If you fear dying alone you must call upon courage to pursue the one you love. 

If you fear disappointing yourself and your loved ones you must call upon discipline and become a provider.

If your nightmare is being miserable in a meaningless existence then you must become grateful and proactive.

Mastery Tip: Get clear on your nightmare, list out what you must do in order to prevent this coming true, then list out the virtues this will require. 

You should now have a clear idea on what you want to avoid most in life, what you desire most, what you must do, and what virtues you are being called to cultivate. 

Keep your dream and nightmare close. 

For in doing so you will feel more inspired to take right action. 

Often times the problem is not a lack of discipline, but rather the tendency for forgetfulness. 

Remember frequently what this is all for. 

A Points System 

During a recent visit from a skilled juggler friend, I learned a transformative approach to measuring progress.

We were discussing the fear of failure, and how perhaps we measure both failure and success inaccurately. 

While learning a new skill and repeatedly dropping the balls, my friend grew incredibly frustrated. 

Thankfully, he recognised this as a test and found a solution in reframing failure as an opportunity for growth, not an insult to his character. 

With every dropped ball his body received feedback. 

Therefore it was in failure and not success that progress was made.

He began scoring himself by clicking a counter every time a ball was dropped. 

This was almost like an anti-scoring system. 

This reframe of failure and success made all the difference to his process of learning. 

Instead of feeling angry and frustrated with himself for dropping the balls, he would instead feel a sense of victory and reward. 

This is totally opposite to how we’re taught. 

With each drop, another click. 

Inspired by his approach, I began applying this anti-scoring system not just to juggling but to various challenging behaviours in my life.

Whether resisting temptation or speaking an uncomfortable truth, I now reward myself with points, fostering a sense of accomplishment and discipline.

This method extended to my morning and nighttime routines, even influencing my decision-making process. The clicker became a tool for accountability, encouraging consistent action.

I invite you to adopt this practice, utilising a clicker to score both failures and successes.

Start pursuing failure…

By embracing failure as an avenue for growth, you challenge yourself to play at a higher difficulty level, accelerating your progress.

This mindset can also be applied to various pursuits, such as gym workouts, handstand practice, or dedicated creative work.

Set point benchmarks for tasks that demand discipline and focus, motivating yourself to overcome procrastination and complacency.

If you’re not failing, your playing life too safe. Raise the difficulty and you’ll reap greater rewards.

You can also pre-score points. 

For example if you’re struggling to get up in the morning and waking up on time is worth ten points, score yourself ten points first and this will inspire you to get up. 

The key is to avoid giving yourself free points. Once scored, honour the commitment to follow through and ensure the points are well earned. 

Keep a clicker close-by and trust your intuition to discern what is truly “points-worthy”. 

Surprising difficulties like averting your gaze from immodestly dressed women will arise where the clicker will come in most handy. 

You can also score points for putting in a particular amount of work that requires discipline. 

Perhaps this is your creative work that you fear feeling stuck and blocked in. 

Personally, I score myself ten points for every thirty minutes of focused writing that I do. 

I could also set myself the challenge to write three thousand words in one hour, in passing that challenge I would score myself fifty points for example. 

This can honestly be applied to almost any behaviour change or maintenance that feels difficult. 

If I sense myself procrastinating I can score myself five points which calls me to show up and maintain honour, not cheating for free points. 

Give yourself points for every failure dared to face and every act of virtue. 

Keep the clicker on you, I have mine on a neck strap. 

Mastery Tip: Get yourself a clicker that you can use to score yourself points for performing acts of virtue, especially those of discipline. 

Righteous Rewards 

Have you noticed a tendency to reward yourself with poison? 

After a bout of strong discipline, you might reward yourself with the opposite… no discipline. 

Is this not incredibly unintelligent? 

The aim is to develop strong self-discipline. 

Why do we then sabotage our hard work in the name of celebration? 

The points you gain through each act of virtue can remain as just points, or you can give them some utility. 

Use them like a currency. This gamified approach will ensure your points system remains useful. 

Decide on an exchange rate or write a list of rewards with the associated cost in points next to them.

If you’re not sure what to reward yourself with, here’s some ideas:

• Things that are useful (new tools and kit for your business or hobbies)
• Knowledge/ Mentorship (books, courses, coaching, live events) 
• Experiences (travelling , retreats etc) 
• Things that better your health (organic foods, non toxic clothes and cosmetics, a massage, spa day, etc) 

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Mastery Tip: Write out a list of rewards you can earn through performing acts of virtue. Give them a cost in either points or money, using an exchange rate from points into your local currency.

Keep your rewards list close so you may remember them frequently. 

Boundaries

Discipline involves cutting off options and setting boundaries. Even with loved ones, prioritising rest over late-night gatherings is essential for consistent discipline.

Setting boundaries means saying no to some invitations, prioritising long-term goals over short-term pleasures.

Recently I’ve been meeting friends for tea quite frequently. I know this isn’t good for me, caffeine late at night plus smoking multiple rolls of tobacco… not good. 

Would I feel proud and grateful for saying “sorry bro, I’ve got to be up early in the morning, let’s go home” instead of staying out late? Of course I would. 

Then I will keep this in mind and make it priority to follow through.

Consider your dream and nightmare. Prioritise actions that lead to pride (not the arrogant kind), gratitude and self-discipline.

Apply the strategy of breaking associations. Avoid activities, people and places that trigger other undesired behaviours.

Like said in Outwitting The Devil: 

“Habits are created in pairs, triplets or quadruplets” - Napoleon Hill

For me, smoking tobacco is coupled with drinking tea, sitting with friends outside or watching a YouTube video.

This is the case with all habits, for better or for worse. 

Sometimes I can eat a lot of biscuits. This was becoming a habit at one point. 

I noticed that I would only eat so many biscuits if I was also drinking a cup of milky tea. 

Also, I would certainly not sit, eating biscuits and drinking tea without watching some sort of movie or content. 

Can you see the quadruplet here? Tea + biscuits + TV + sitting down

None of these can survive by themselves, they must call upon another in order to remain strong. 

If I stop drinking milky tea for example, there’s no desire to eat biscuits, sit down and watch tv. 

I may go outside for a walk, do some work, play guitar or stand and juggle instead. 

Mastery Tip: Clarify your habit pairs, triplets and quadruplets. Write down some ideas for breaking or reallocating those associations. (Eg. Eliminating milky tea prevents excess biscuit consumption)

Balance or Extremism? 

Have you struggled with moderation after attempting to quit addictive habits? 

It starts with “A little bit won’t hurt” or “we’ll just have one” but soon… you’re slipping on a downward spiral. 

I tried quitting weed several times, only to fall back into the addiction after trying to achieve moderation. 

I now see that for me and weed this isn’t possible. Accepting my weakness lead to finally quitting once and for all. 

I just can’t handle a little bit. The addiction will reignite aggressively as It has several times before. 

It’s now been eighteen months since I last took a hit of a joint. (Today is 25/10/23)

Some battles may not allow for moderation; complete removal might be necessary. 

Several of my clients faced similar realisations with substances like cocaine.

They can’t handle a little bit. The solution is often to quit alcohol and intoxication altogether. 

The solution is to remove alcohol from their life altogether, for it opens the gates to other addictive behaviours.

That’s the best way to ensure one does not fall into a well of self destruction again. 

Consider taking an extreme stance for lasting change. In other areas, maintain balance through strict rules or predefined choices.

Perhaps moderation works with behaviours that are a bit more gentle and less stimulating than drugs. 

Be honest and find out for yourself. 

Mastery Tip: If you’re trying to find moderation with drugs, caffeine, video games, porn, refined sugar or nicotine, consider how many times you’ve quit, and how many times “just a little bit” has reignited the addiction. 

If the answer is more than three, moderation surely will not work. 

Come to terms with releasing this behaviour altogether. You can book a free call with me if you wish to talk. My Unchained Coaching Program is helping people break destructive behaviour patterns long term, without unnecessary added pressure. (Insert link)

Deciding not to smoke weed again is one of the best choices I’ve made. Without being extreme I would have most certainly fallen back into the pattern. 

Be aware, upon quitting you will absolutely be faced with tests. Commit to passing each of them and don’t get cocky. 

When Inadequacy Kills Discipline

Just yesterday I experienced something very painful that reminded me of an emotional wound I have yet to heal. 

An experience unearthed my struggle with deep-rooted inadequacy, particularly in my relationships with women.

There’s a girl I currently have my eye on.

Seeking her validation triggered within me feelings of insecurity, impairing my willpower and discipline.

The next morning I woke and did not want to do anything but sleep and indulge…

Inadequacy corrodes our sense of purpose, leading to destructive patterns and a diminished quality of life.

It leads us to treating ourselves poorly, neglecting what it is we know to be most important. 

Despite a rough start today, I chose to break free from this debilitating cycle and commit to my work. I’m now about to finish this Mastery Letter.

Sometimes your day will start poorly, what’s most important in these moments is that you choose to rise back up, dust off and continue marching forward with commitment. 

Maintain discipline at all costs. 

Giving in to inadequacy yields no good, no matter how much the feeling tries to convince us that self-sabotage is the solution. 

Emotions drive our actions more-so than logic. Today I experienced that truly. 

Self-discipline demands action despite emotional turmoil. It's about rising above how we feel, one step at a time.

You will inevitably deviate, however you must get back up as quickly as you can. 

Remember, one disciplined action leads to another and vice versa.

Inadequacy can be a catalyst for profound self-growth. Look out for my upcoming Mastery Letter on this topic.

Don’t let feelings of worthlessness dictate your actions. True discipline transcends emotional turbulence.

Our value isn’t dependent on external validation. Overcoming inadequacy requires a different approach, one that I’m determined to explore and share with you.

Stay sharp no matter what. 

To Conclude

Have you ever heard the quote by Viktor Frankl? 

“With a strong enough why, one can overcome any how”

Self-discipline is all about having a strong enough reason to sacrifice instant gratification for a greater reward. 

That reward is the fulfilment of our dreams. What it is we desire most and more importantly, who it is we desire to be the most. 

“Who you are speaks so loud that I can’t hear a word you are saying”  - unknown

If you struggle to clarify your dream (keep it simple) then get to know your nightmare. 

What is it you desire absolutely least in this life? What are you most afraid of? Journal on both the dream and nightmare and behold. 

And with that, I conclude this Mastery Letter.

Let it be a guide in helping you develop sharpness in the art of discipline. 

Most of us fear regret and disappointment in having not lived up to more of our potential.

Take heed of this message now and save yourself a dreadful fate. 

On my journey it has become clear that I can do nothing alone. 

It was when I began to pray again that I regained control over my behaviours and choices. 

Before, while denying God’s existence, I felt utterly powerless to my desires and impulses. 

This lead to the deepest depression and bout with existentialism I have faced today.

Thank God I made it through… only with His help. 

Pray out loud, speak to God, say “if you exist” if you don’t believe, and watch what happens. 

A way to make self-discipline more fun is to gamify the process by scoring points. 

Get yourself a counter, list acts of discipline that are points worthy and make a list of rewards that make you drool a little. 

This gives you something tangible to work for, as well as the cultivation of character. 

You must protect your discipline as though it is a child or flower. 

Boundaries with people, places and most importantly your lower self are all absolutely necessary for long term, consistent growth. 

Learn to say no… 

Even if it sacrifices your self image. They may not be happy with you, but they will respect you. 

Habits grow in twos, threes and fours. Learn to observe such patterns and combinations. 

“Starve one head and the whole beast suffers”  - @usman_unchained

Sometimes (like in my case) we have to accept our weakness and powerlessness. 

Only then do we gain access to God’s strength. 

We are fragile, limited, sinful by nature. 

God is our strength, for we can not even breathe without His divine mercy. 

Such recognition of weakness may eradicate the notion of moderation. 

For some of us it simply is not possible to moderate drugs, alcohol, adult content, video games and anything else we may use as vice. 

If you know that a little bit often leads to abuse and regret, it’s time to quit forever. 

Ask God for continual help. 

Finally, the foundation of self-discipline is in believing that you actually deserve what it is you want. 

You must come to know that you are worthy of being somebody you’re proud of. 

That just as you would sacrifice comfort, pleasure and those extra hours in bed to provide for your children, you would do the same for yourself. 

You dreams will require sacrifice, risk and hard work. 

Do you desire the fulfilment of your dreams? 

Or do you deserve a mediocre life that ends in regret? 

The answer I hope is clear. 

All life is sacred and matters simple due to its existence. 

“You matter, because you are matter…” - @usman_unchained

And on that note I conclude this letter.

I wish you well…

If you have questions or anything important to address with me ie, applying for 1:1 coaching or inviting me to speak or teach at your venue / event, feel free to contact me directly via instagram @usman_unchained. 

I am holistic lifestyle coach, yoga & meditation teacher, a speaker and I’ve done a lot of work with kids too.

Remember, there is no use in reading and consuming information if you do not apply what you learn! Take action on as many Mastery tips as possible! 

Here are some additional, free gifts: 

FREE habit tracker template. <<< Download Here

FREE 60 Minute Coaching Call with me if you’re looking to stop wasting your life and develop levels of discipline, inner-Peace, confidence and self respect that you’re proud of.

Finally, if this was any way useful to you, take a moment to share it with somebody it might help. 

You’re not just here to consume right? 

I suspect that you're the kind of person that likes to give something back.

Until next time. 

Stay sharp.

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