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Eventually, after what I could say was one of the toughest periods of my life, and the closest I’ve felt to death… something finally worked. 

A carnivorous diet. 

No vegetables. No fruits. No seeds. No nuts. No beans. No grains… 

Do I even need to mention no refined sugar and processed foods? 

I consumed nothing but meat, home made bone broth, fish and eggs. 

This was an extremely difficult approach to consider, for I was previously on a plant based diet and had had my first psychedelic experience (and last) that convinced me that I knew the truth.

That was… that we should not be eating animals, for they are our family and all things are connected. 

It took a lot of courage and faith to put my ego to the side and give the meat and fermented dairy a chance. 

You know how dogmatic vegans can be…

To go the complete opposite way to what I thought to be the answer took a lot of faith and trust…

The research pointed me in this direction, it was only my ego holding me back… 

7 days… 

Nothing but animal foods. 

Bone broth with meat, fish and eggs… 

Absolutely zero fibre. 

Flawless sleep. 

Plenty of time in the sun. 

Barefoot on the natural ground. 

Cold showers and healing meditations. 

For the entire week I did not go to the toilet. 

Then on the 7th day… 

(Graphic words incoming)… I had my first bowel movement. 

It was the most insane thing to ever come out of me. 

Black. 

Thick. 

Sticky. 

But solid! 

No blood! 

No mucous! 

I was healed! 

What a miracle this was. 

The discipline had paid off. 

The sacrifice had meaning. 

The perseverance met its purpose. 

The faith was rewarded… 

And the stubbornness towards the typical western method was etched deeper. 

Remember… I’m telling you this story for a reason, it will become clear as you continue on. Trust the process…

Things go unexpectedly dark all of a sudden… It still baffles me to this day. 

All that hard work had finally come to an end. 

I began to re-feed my body with more solid foods. 

Life was the best, once again. 

Praise to Allah.

Gradually, I began including vegetables and grains. 

This took a lot of time, for I was afraid of re-triggering symptoms by consuming something that was perhaps not good for me, but considered to be healthy or normal through popular consensus. 

I’m afraid to say… 

That’s exactly what happened. 

In fact, after that bout of extreme discipline, using every drop of will-power I had and putting my all into getting better, I felt like I had nothing left. 

I needed a break from such a disciplined life. 

I needed to reward myself. 

And so I did… 

What with you might ask? 

Sugar…

Weed… 

Overeating… 

I began to develop a binge eating disorder. 

Things got out of hand, very quickly. 

One day… While on the toilet, I saw the smallest (yet still existing) bit of mucous in my stool. 

I couldn’t believe it… 

How? 

Why? 

After all of that hard work… 

To now be experiencing symptoms again. 

The symptoms were in fact extremely minor, but for me… they might as well have been fully fledged. 

A true perfectionist… I wanted to be 100% better, and nothing else.

Oh what a dangerous mindset…

I put everything I had into getting better. 

It broke me, feeling as though my efforts still weren’t good enough. 

Now here’s where things get crazy… 

On a particular day, me and my brother were speaking about something trivial (otherwise I would remember the topic). 

As normal for him back then, he spoke to me in a derogatory, downward, condescending manner. 

As though he did not respect me whatsoever. 

Like he was better, and I was nothing… 

That’s how I felt. 

Like a piece of total shi* 

This triggered something deep within me. 

Inadequacy, a deep feeling of ‘I’m worthless’

So guess what I did? 

Angry, upset, hurt to my very core, I stormed upstairs and began to eat like a monster. 

I smoked an incredible amount of weed. 

And began to purposely attempt to make myself develop symptoms of Ulcerative Colitis again. 

This my friend… Is the definition of Self-Sabotage. 

“Resentment is the poison you drink, expecting the other person to get hurt” 

I was trying to punish my brother, by punishing myself… 

Twisted… I know. 

Note: Take a moment to consider how resentment may have influenced you in a similar way…

Have you ever punished yourself in attempt to hurt another person?

Let’s continue

Things got seriously out of hand. 

This all started with taking a vacation from a very rigid, disciplined life by rewarding myself with sugar (in extreme amounts), processed foods and a tonne of weed smoking…

But now it was putrefying into some demonic, trauma rooted, sadistic attempt to make myself suffer. 

“Let’s see how bad I can really make this”, I would think… 

While stuffing my face with the highest quality chocolates that I had funnily enough stolen from the supermarket, for all of my money was spent on smoking weed. 

If you don’t believe in demons yet (which I have scientific, psychological and spiritual ways to make sense of)… come on already… 

Every word I’m sharing with you right now is true from my experience.

This is how bad my life got at one point. 

The symptoms got so bad that I ended up having to take prescribed medication from the doctors. 

This humiliated me… 

For this is the last thing I would have ever wanted to do. 

But I had to… 

The symptoms eased up, yet soon enough the effects of the medication wore off. 

They wanted to give me an even stronger dose. 

I knew were this was going… 

The endless hole into dependency on the medical institution. A life on meds… 

The need for synthetic chemicals in order to survive. 

Not on my watch…

I could not let it get to that point. 

This was my crisis, my wake up call… my giant red flag.

Note: Humans tend to wait until a giant red flag tells them you must change now! Before making a change… This need not be the way. You can change before you hit your crisis point. Know that. 

I needed structure in my life again, discipline, rules, balance, faith… 

I needed to stop smoking weed, cease this gluttonous binge eating, and to start treating myself better. 

Clarity ensued… I had been punishing myself as a product of having cripplingly low levels of self esteem and self worth.

My life, health, body, time, energy and future were not things I valued. 

A complete flip around is what I needed. 

A reset… 

Divinity: The Source of All Love

A new way of life… 

And although it was clear what needed to change, no matter how hard I tried… I just couldn’t help myself. 

The weed addiction especially had settled in so deeply to my habit system that I felt completely powerless when trying to quit. 

Promises were broken again and again, over and over. 

“I’ll quit tomorrow… let me just finish this bag” 

Only to find myself buying more that very same day. 

Guilty… 

Ashamed…

Enslaved… 

Stuck and out of control… 

Digestion still suffering, bleeding from the gut and depleted in energy…

All hope seemed lost. 

Until… 

Something I would never have imagined in 1000 years occurred. 

At the age of 18 I began meditating and stopped praying to God, for I felt like I had discovered the new truth…

That all the solutions were within. 

That I did not need an external power to help me. 

It was all inside… 

Perhaps I even thought that I (my soul) was God at one point. 

Astaghfirullah (May Allah forgive me). 

Suffering with digestive disease, 

Addicted to weed, 

Self sabotaging and punishing myself due to zero self-worth, 

Lost with no sense of life purpose or direction in life…

I turned back to Allah. 

I began to repent and ask for forgiveness, for all the harm I had inflicted upon myself.

I began to pray again, this time not in the robotic sense I remember from childhood, but from the heart.

There was no other option. 

I had no power over my behaviours. 

My choices were as if to be not my own any more. 

In feeling this way, I asked Allah to take this habit of smoking weed away from me. 

That although I loved getting high, I knew it wasn’t good for me, and that it was preventing me from fulfilling my purpose here on Earth which I already knew was to help other people. 

Ramadan of 2022 came around and I took a deep dive back into the path of Islam. 

I quit smoking weed cold turkey. 

Fasting from sunrise to sunset. 

Immersing myself in the islamic community and…

Studying the Islamic scripture, The Holy Qur’an for the first time in my life with an English translation, as opposed to simply reading the Arabic words with no comprehension. 

7 days passed. 

Then 14… 

Eventually the entire month of Ramadan was over, it was bitter sweet. 

I felt like a new man. 

Yet as I was saddened for such a blissful period to be over. I used to believe happiness was in living a life free to fulfil my desires, to have what I want, when I wanted it, wherever I was. 

But this was shown no to be true during this month of Ramadan. 

The happiness, the peace, the joy I felt through living a highly disciplined life, rooted in abstinence, submission, ritual and community was like no other. 

I did not want it to end…

I promised never to go back to smoking weed again. 

For it was clear from past experience that treating myself to just a little bit of weed would rapidly snow-ball into an aggressive addiction. 

From that beautiful experience with Ramadan, my love for Islam was reignited. I began to study Islam with a rational mind, to understand whether or not it was the truth. 

Meaning, whether or not it was a system most conducive to the thriving of human life, the path of true inner peace and the establishment of strong nations. 

In order to study islam I knew I had to immerse myself fully. I was no longer arrogant enough to believe that I could understand an entire way of life without living and breathing it for myself. 

And so… I began to identify as a Muslim once again. Free from the addiction to smoking weed and binge eating that I found myself so powerless to before. 

Consistently praying five times a day.

Using my regained sense of energy and vitality to train and lift weights in the gym again.

Spending time in the Mosque, surrounding myself with people who practice Islam and believe in God. 

Studying the Quran with a rational, non-emotional mind, and having my mind blown countless times doing so.

Developing a work ethic that is masculine, working harder than ever for a benefit in character and preparation for fatherhood.

Waking up early, unfortunately not yet early enough to pray the sunrise prayer on time, but early enough to start my day with fulfilment, productivity and purpose.

Sharpening my discipline to levels I remember having before when healing from Ulcerative Colitis.

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Giving all credit to Allah… Repenting for how I had mistreated myself for so long, how I abused my body and disrespected this beautiful creation… 

It became clear… 

Islam is teaching me about true Self Love. 

In fact, I realise now that if one lives in complete accordance to the instructions offered in Islam they will:

• Live a fantastic, meaningful life.
• Enjoy abundance in this world. 
• Build a strong, integrated family
• Develop high level productivity
• Be surrounded by good people
• Cultivate self mastery & discipline
• Thrive in health, peace and happiness. 
• Live a life based on Love for self, other & All

This is what I am experiencing… 

Through Islam I am learning the truth about what real love is. 

God’s Divine Love, and Real Self Love. 

It has changed my life completely and inspired me to raise the standards for how I care for and conduct myself, this gives me a more beautiful connection also to others and The Divine.

This Mastery Letter is not about trying to convince you to convert to Islam. 

So far it has been to simply tell you the story of my personal experience… 

How I transitioned from a life of self-abuse and low self-worth to one of self-love, discipline and a different kind of peace most people miss out on in life. 

The peace that comes with a simple life. 

The peace that comes with breaking the chains of being slave to one’s desires and impulses.

The peace that comes with being fulfilled with how I lived life today. 

The peace that comes with knowing I am never alone, always loved. 

We are always ready to be forgiven for one’s mistakes, if willing to repent sincerely. 

I now intend to deconstruct, based on my findings, this notion of Self Love in a way that perhaps has not been done before. 

I used to feel as though I knew what Self Love was… 

Yet during that time, convinced, naive and deluded, I was abusing myself with food and intoxication. 

Perhaps I had access to some facets of self love, but the picture was far from complete. 

It would be foolish to consider that I have a full and complete understanding of Self-Love now, however I am confident that I know more than I did before. 

In fact, there are some aspects of self love that I will share with you during this letter that will change your life completely if you put them into action. 

Just as they have changed my life. 

I expect my understanding to deepen more over time, and for the ideas I share with you today to be refined even more as I continue on my path of Self Mastery. 

So let us begin by laying the foundation…

The Doors of Divine Love: Always Open

When I felt like I was at the lowest point in my life, smoking incredible amounts of weed a day, binge eating until I was sick and then continuing to eat more… 

It was God’s love that reignited my fire. 

I understand that if you struggle with the notion of God, or do not believe yet that this might be a little challenging to read. 

You may turn your nose up at the words I’m about to share. 

Nevertheless, it is the truth of how I was able to find freedom from a terrible cycle of self-punishment.

No matter what I tried, I could not find the strength to break free with my will alone. 

Countless times I would say to myself in the morning, ‘ok, no more weed now, I won’t buy any more’, to then find myself in the evening excited to buy more weed… 

It became clear after repeating this process countless times that I was powerless… 

Weak… 

I could not control my behaviours. 

I could not keep a word to myself… 

This destroyed my confidence, for confidence is derived from the root word ‘trust’. To trust in oneself, ones ability, and one’s word. 

That when what we say and what we do are in harmonious alignment, this is confidence. 

Sticking to our word. Speaking to others of a deep desire we have, in my case that was to quit smoking weed, and to quit! 

Not simply just to talk… 

But to take action as well.

In my weakness, my powerlessness, I considered that perhaps I was not the one in control of my choices any more. 

It was as though I was possessed. 

If you struggle with an addiction or have in the past, you will know exactly what I mean. 

A set of desires in the morning, to be better, to break free, to get back on the right path… 

And a set of desires in the evening, to indulge, to intoxicate and self-medicate, to release all care for the world… 

Almost as if there are two people within, opposing one another. 

The Higher Nature vs. The Lower Nature. 

Good vs. Evil. 

My Will vs. Trauma. 

Angels vs. Demons. 

Conscious vs. Subconscious… 

However it is you wish to understand this…

There are many ways to perceive what was happening. 

I see truth in them all… 

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It was due to this sense of losing the battle within that I turned to God. 

Out loud, with my palms facing upwards I asked from a state of deep hopelessness and sincerity… 

‘Allah If you are there, please take this habit away from me. Rip it out of my life, even if a part of me loves it.” 

I sat alone after this, and repented for all the harm I had done to myself. 

Tears rolled down my face. 

I felt God’s love, God’s mercy, God’s compassion. 

I knew in that moment that I was always seen, never alone, always loved… 

It became clear in realisation that one of The Devil’s greatest deceptions is to convince one that they have strayed too far, that God’s door is closed to them and that their repentance will no longer be effective. 

This trickery had me thinking that I could not speak to Allah if I was mid-sin. 

That others might judge me for doing so, for how dare I smoke a joint and speak out to Allah in repentance at the same time. 

If you have ever felt that you have gone too far to be forgiven, know that this is the ultimate deception of darkness. 

To convince you that God’s mercy, compassion, understanding and kindness have limit, when God’s these are all in fact God’s infinite qualities. 

I can not emphasise or stress enough the impact it had on my life to feel that even though nobody else seemed to understand what I was going through, Allah did… 

While smoking weed I began asking for Allah’s forgiveness, this is how it all began. 

God’s door is never closed to you, you can always repent for what you have done or are doing. 

You will ultimately be forgiven, yet not without the balance of God’s justice. 

There must be suffering for what we have done, for only in suffering are we held accountable enough so that we may choose not to return back to a path that has yielded much pain. 

Many of us get to the point in life where we have no capacity to love ourselves. 

In that case, it is God’s love that we need and recognise first… 

For without God we would not be. 

God is Love. 

If you’re struggling with self destructive behaviour and feel completely out of control right now… 

Or if there’s something in your way and you just can’t seem to overcome it all by yourself… 

I invite you to call out to God, use whatever name you will for The Divine… 

That does not matter. 

God has many names, yet one essence. 

Speak out loud with sincerity, ask for help, ask for guidance… ask… 

You will be heard. 

You will be answered. 

And you will be tested by setting higher standards of self conduct. 

Inshallah (God willing)

Love Is Not A Feeling

Love is extremely misunderstood. 

We consider it to be feminine, soft, emotional and romantic. 

These are very shallow aspects of love, they are not love itself… 

I invite you to consider love to be more of a force as opposed to a feeling. 

Love is a force that drives. 

It drives the creation of life itself, for it brings together man and woman which leads to the birth of children. 

It drives long term commitment, inspiring perseverance in the face of difficult and uncertain times. 

It drives one to create art, write books, film videos, and record music, so one might invoke a positive and meaningful experience in the lives of others. 

It drives one to tell the hard truth to someone that is dear, even if one is afraid. 

It drives one to sacrifice comfort, pleasure and safety in order to provide for and protect others.

It drives one to change self-destructive behaviours into ones that are life affirming, increasing health, happiness and positive character traits like confidence, esteem and discipline.  

It drives us to become better versions of ourselves, to experience the bounds of our potential and live a life not wasted, but lived in its fullness.

It drives us to seek the truth, to know who and what we are and what lays beyond, so that we may have faith and awe more-so than fear. 

The list goes on… 

Love is a force, not a feeling. 

A force that drives all of the above. 

It is not exclusive to humans, for the same behaviours are exhibited by animals in nature. 

It is universal. 

Beyond the human experience. 

An aspect of the fabric of existence. 

A characteristic of reality, a precursor to consciousness. 

Western media has served us an inaccurate representation of love. 

The representation we are used to is that love is soft, feminine, romantic and unmanly. 

Perhaps this has been done with the intent to turn men away from love?

For men who are starved of love and turn their backs on it, become materialistic, narcissistic, tyrannical, addicted depressives… 

Perhaps it is love that men need now more than anything… 

Love in the real, true sense.

Love of something greater than fulfilling personal desires. 

Something to fight for, something to protect, a reason worth the sacrifice… 

This is what men need. 

Love is confused by many of us with fear. 

Surely, fear and love are distinct enough from one other not to be mistaken? 

It seems not. 

Many will claim to be driven by lust, when in reality the driving force is the fear of loss. 

And… as the wise words of Yoda say…

“Fear of loss, this a way to The Dark Side” 

You say you do not wish to lose somebody you love because of love. 

Paradoxically, love is what lets go, it does not hold on. 

For it truly has the best interests of the one receiving love at heart.

Love is fundamental to consciousness and the process of life, therefore it does not become attached to any moment or form or experience. 

It facilitates and permeates the flow of events across time. 

Love allows things to come and go. 

It allows us to live and die. 

It allows relationships to start and finish. 

It does not cling… 

For love is truth, and clinging denies the truth. 

The truth that is this, and not that which you prefer. 

There is only one moment, this moment, it is only as it is, and no other way.

Refusal to accept the moment as it is is due to attachment. The attachment to one’s preference.

Therefore one who is attached is not in love.

Love can not be fear, it can not be anything but the truth. Love has no opposite. 

It simply is and was before we were. 

The poet tries to portray this…

Love is poetic, for poetry is written with the intent not to direct the reader’s attention to the words, but the meaning beyond the words that is ineffable. 

That which can not be described, only referenced. 

I can not quantify love or point to it, yet I can describe the effects of love. 

Similar to how physicists create understanding about Black Holes. 

Observing not the thing itself, but the effects of the thing. 

I hope it is clear now, love is not a feeling… 

It is a force. 

One from beyond while infinitely close, and one that is inseparable from reality, truth, existence and the natural processes of life. 

Self Love: What Self is Being Loved?

Love for the self is not worship of the self. 

In fact, when exploring and clarifying self love (the intent of this Mastery Letter) it is just as important if not more essential to define what exactly we mean by the word self. 

Is it your ego that you love? The one who is in perpetual inner dialogue with itself, pulling towards that which it desires, pushing away from that which it does not… 

Are we talking about love of the ego? 

For some in fact, they believe themselves to be practicing self love, when they are deceived and unknowingly worshipping the ego. 

They tell you that you should follow pleasure in life, yet this leads us to more suffering.

Reacting to every impulse. 

Seeking to satiate every craving. 

The auto-pilot life. 

The promiscuous life. 

The lustful, gluttonous, lazy life,

The no-responsibility life…

Wrongly defined as a spiritual, liberated life and more-so the path of degeneracy which leads to the fall of the individual, the family and the nation. 

So… What is the correct self to be loving? 

We must answer this carefully, for is it really self love, if you love one aspect of yourself yet do not love another? 

If you love your strengths but hate your weaknesses? 

To love is not to necessarily to like. 

Does loving something require us to have obedience towards it? Or is it the opposite? 

Through love for ourselves we train our egos to be obedient, as opposed to us being obedient to them. 

Love has no opposite.

It is not equated with being nice and therefore does not mean to tolerate all things… 

“If you tolerate everything, you stand for nothing”

Standards are essential. 

And these standards are motivated by love. 

Self love is therefore to treat oneself as one deserves to be treated. 

In a way that is aligned with Truth. 

For truth knows that you are not the ego. 

You are not your desires. 

You are something beyond these notions. 

And it is that that is driven by love. 

Truth knows that you and I and all of us are worthy of the best treatment. 

Worthy of growth, happiness, peace, strength and our potential… 

Addictive, compulsive, self-destructive behaviours are not rooted in love and truth. 

They are based on fear and lies. 

The lie of being unworthy. 

The lie of being unsafe. 

The lie of being insignificant. 

The lie of being un-deserving.

This is why living from one’s ego is not self love. 

No matter how much you exercise, meditate, or do charitable acts… 

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If it is majorly for the reinforcement and polishing of your ego and self image, it is not rooted in love. This way, you will only feel more emptiness. 

Such action is rooted in false intent.

You are not the ego. 

You are the witness of it. The silent observer. 

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If one has locked away their spirit… they will cringe at this. 

The atheist believes himself to be his ego and nothing more.

Even if he may read these words and disagree… his actions say it is so. 

He acts as though he is his internal dialogue. 

Answering to its every call. 

Satisfying its every desire. 

Turning his head at every impulse.

Scattered in the eyes, scattered in the mind.

Slave to the ego. 

This is unintelligent. 

He is dull… Yet he believes himself to be sharper than most. 

The egotistic one is arrogant. 

Deluded in a sense of superiority, when if given the full responsibility over their heartbeat or breathing, would soon die like the rest of us. 

Lacking in humility… Unaware of higher forces.

The ego needs to feel better than others and attempts to do so through various means…

A false representation of intelligence, accumulating knowledge and regurgitating it, yet foolishly failing to apply this knowledge. 

It is the application of knowledge that brings self betterment and growth… not the idolisation and hoarding of it. 

The ego casts one under the illusion of being above others by inflating one’s most fragile and temporary aspects. 

The mind, the body, the material, the status… 

All are fragile when considering the larger scale. 

Every body will die, yet the ego convinces itself that it is better than others through gaining more money or muscle mass.

It buys into the fact that one is inherently less than another if body fat percentage is high. 

It is not that holding more fat makes one less than others. 

It is that one is often overweight through living an ego-identified, undisciplined life. 

One void of love and therefore further from truth. 

Such a life can only take one away from the true self, who knows fully that there is no question of one being significant, one is no more or less than others. 

It is the ego-driven life that leads to insignificance and feelings of being unworthy. 

The ego claims that God and The Divine are childish notions, that they are not for mature adults but rather for those whose heads are in the clouds… 

This is the root to the emptiness of those atheistic.

As the ego is not the truth, and self love is incompatible with a life rooted in ego, love is therefore undeniably spiritual and beyond form, mind, thoughts or intellect.

Beyond death…

The mind is temporary. 

The body is temporary. 

Yet there are aspects of us that are undying it seems. 

In my experience the two most effective ways of coming to know these is through meditation (practiced sincerely) and living a disciplined life. 

That is to utilise and increase one’s willpower, through the practice of mindlessness, which is to cease thinking, and let one become action instead. 

Whatever good you want for yourself from deep within, your ego will attempt to hinder you from attaining. 

Tempting you back into bed. 

Convincing you to indulge a little more. 

Tricking you into avoiding what you know you must do… procrastination.

Creating excuses by saying… ‘’just start tomorrow’’… The words of the devil. 

When you ignore such thoughts and take action instead, it becomes clear over time that the self you are now referring to when using the word I (consciously), is not the ego, The Lower Nature, the maker of excuses but rather… something beyond. 

It is the one that wants to be better, that is you. 

The one that seeks growth. 

The one that wants what is best for you…

The one that wishes to live for something more meaningful. 

The one that is willing to sacrifice short term pleasure and desire in order to build something that benefits all. 

It is the one that loves you… 

Facets of Self Love

There are 3 (as I currently understand) primary domains of Self Love. 

As you will come to understand by reading this Mastery Letter and reflecting upon your own life, there is no Complete Self Love without all 3.

Those 3 are: 

• Emotional Self Love (understanding, compassion)
• Rational Self Love (discipline, will)
• Practical Self Love (respect, care)

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Let us explore each of these more deeply so we better understand them and ultimately, integrate them into our lives. 

Consider where you are rich or poor in self love. Turn your weaknesses into your strengths and your life will transform for the better. 

Personally, I have experienced waves and oscillations mainly between Emotional & Rational Self Love. 

The period of addiction and self sabotage I shared with you above was a time where Rational Self Love was the solution I needed. 

Structure, discipline, order, intolerance… 

Perhaps for you it is different. Remember that we are all on different journeys. 

Emotional Self Love

Emotional self love is about allowing oneself to feel the full spectrum of emotions, while releasing all judgement towards the feelings and oneself for feeling them.

Such self love encourages the development of self compassion, allowing one to comfort and regulate oneself when experiencing emotional distress and suffering. 

This is what is often meant when the words ‘be kind to yourself’ are used. 

Communicate with yourself as you would your children. 

Forgive the past by revisiting it if you have to process the unprocessed and bring new programs into the subconscious.

Do not wrong yourself for experiencing an emotion but rather, use unpleasant and uncomfortable emotions as an opportunity for learning. 

There is no fixing with emotional self love, only learning, compassion, understanding and processing of feelings stored in the body.

When you allow yourself to feel, you cease the attempt to suppress emotions with food, drugs, alcohol, screens or other sources of overstimulation. 

Yet feeling alone can sometimes be a dead-end path.

This is where rational and practical self love come into play, which we will explore shortly.

An increasing number of women are smoking weed today. 

This can be seen as an attempt to bring themselves into a space of feminine, emotional self love. 

Smoking weed allows them to stop, to feel like everything is going to be ok, and to soften into a more trusting, flowing energy. 

For men this is very much also the case.

We all need emotional self love. In fact, as many young boys today are glued to their screens we think they need more discipline. 

Yet this is not completely true. 

These boys need more love. They were given the screens in the first place due to the parents unwillingness to love them through the entire spectrum of emotion. 

The more a parent gives emotional love to themselves, the more capacity they have for giving this to their children. 

It is the same for the standard of communication. 

If the only way of self motivating you are familiar with is to throw insults within, you will inevitably do the same to your children one day, if you are not already. 

Creating trauma and low self worth within your children in the process.

This is the reason why Emotional Self Love is so important. 

If you love not yourself, how can you love another? 

If you overly judge yourself, you will overly judge others. 

Self abuse leads to the abuse of others. 

Invalidating yourself will lead to invalidating others and perhaps never getting to the core of your emotional-behavioural patterns.

Deep rooted challenges need to be addressed from the root. 

For example in the case of addiction, when one addiction is removed another soon comes to take its place. This is because the underlying issue is not solved. 

It could be that there is a healing needing to take place. A deep forgiveness or emotional release that frees up tension from the nervous system. 

Or it could very well be that the solution is in increasing one’s rational and practical self love, for a lack in these could in fact be the root. 

You must walk your unique path… 

Consider the children, and consider yourself when you were a child. 

What was the love you needed deep down that perhaps you did not get? 

If you learn to give this to yourself now, you will be able to break the cycle of generations and ensure your children now or one day receive all the love they deserve. 

An abundance of Emotional Self Love, and sharing that emotional love with the children is the greatest preventative measure for all addictions and dysfunction throughout life. 

Emotional Self Love given now, loving yourself and therefore others throughout the ups and downs of pain and joy, prevents a worse pain later. 

Rational Self Love

Rational self love is more practical. It is the commitment to bettering oneself each and every day, developing a disciplined lifestyle, thinking critically and consequentially which make room for well-informed decisions. 

This aspect of self love involves caring for one’s mind and mental health, learning to focus and concentrate for extended periods of time, and calming ones emotions through rationality and alternative perspectives to that which is default.

It seeks to install strategies and structures into ones life so that one may make the best possible choices for long term fulfilment. 

Discovering and pursuing your life’s purpose is rational self love. Developing skills that improve your life quality and eventually the opportunities available for your family and community. 

Honing your unique gift (which everybody has) and contributing positively to the lives of others, this requires much discipline. 

Dedicating countless hours to Self Mastery and the mastery of your craft… this is self love, for your soul loves to enter a deep flow state where the mind is silent, and that is what your gift and craft offer you. 

Rational self love is more like the love of the Father, it is cultivated through hard work and unlike emotional self love, plenty of fixing. 

Emotional self love is more Motherly.

Hard work requires discipline, discipline requires willpower and willpower creates awareness of that which is and is not your true desire.

Therefore the development and practice of using willpower brings us closer to the truth, and is by extension… a form of self love. 

Discipline is an integral aspect of self love. 

Without discipline, you do not love yourself. 

Without discipline, your actions do not say that you want the best for yourself. 

Without discipline… one falls slave to the ego, identified only with the aspects of oneself that are bound by form and time, shrouding that which many refer to as the soul or the spirit. 

Practice meditation, work to increase your discipline, and develop high levels of will-power through abstinence and managing yourself in a way that increases self-restraint.

Impulse control… learn to be responsive and not reactive. 

These will both connect you with your soul. 

And it is the soul that is the centre of Self Love. 

In the past, before falling into the trap of weed addiction, I was convinced that Self Love was simply in meditation, and making use of positive, reassuring self-communication. 

Self compassion is what I’m referring to. This means to understand your own pain as though you would understand the pain of another. 

To look upon yourself with the loving eyes of a parent. 

Although this is not untrue, I was shallow in my understanding of a more complete self love. 

What I was practicing was Emotional Self Love. 

This is important, yet it is not the whole picture. 

There is more to consider if one is to have a realistic practice that leads to positive results across all domains of life. 

Otherwise, with a less complete form of self love there is risk of falling into addictions, avoiding one’s potential and living a life of mediocrity. 

Such a life can grant the illusion that one is free and at peace, yet deep down this is not true, for how is one free when one does not possess ownership over the ability to make correct choices? 

How is one free when it is known that there is potential deep down, there is important work to be done, yet one lacks self belief and courage to endure the unknown, choosing procrastination instead?

No matter how much meditation one does, if there is no practice of taking right action, of living a disciplined lifestyle, of exposing oneself to physical, emotional and mental discomfort… 

It is all for nothing. 

Meditation is a practice that helps us create self awareness, inner peace and impulse control.

If we practice meditation, experience peace, only to then open our eyes and run on autopilot again, engaging in self-destructive behaviours, what does it matter?

This describes perfectly how I was living. 

Meditating deeply, experiencing centred concentration and peace, only to open my eyes, start smoking weed and binge eating junk food. 

I had somewhat of an emotional self love, yet there was no discipline throughout the rest of my life. 

No schedule, no organisation, no work-ethic, no desire for responsibility, no purposeful pursuit and no routine… 

Most people only practice and speak about Emotional Self Love… that is, the softer version. 

It either is something you practice yourself, or the idea makes you cringe.

Nonetheless, it has its value and is necessary in the creation of a well rounded beautiful and fulfilling experience of life.

The type of love most of the world is missing out on is Rational Self Love.

Men need this most, yet both men and women benefit from it. 

Rational self love can be encapsulated in one key word… 

Discipline. 

Practical Self Love

Practical Self Love is in learning to respect yourself, matching that self respect with actions of self-care. 

When I was addicted to smoking weed I remember needing some new clothes.

£120 on weed every week, and a £10 t-shirt was too expensive for me… 

If this sounds like you, it’s a clear sign that you lack self respect and could benefit from practical self love. 

This is to choose behaviours that communicate a message of love and care to yourself. Taking yourself for a hair-cut, booking yourself a massage, taking a nap when you’re in genuine need of rest, eating high quality, real foods… 

Practical self love encapsulates self-care, self-respect and self-worth, especially when regarding one’s social circle and choice of company… 

It says no to spending time with those who bring you down, those who don’t see your gifts and those who do not truly want what’s best for you. 

It draws boundaries and raises the standards for what one is worthy and deserving of in life. 

You will only deny yourself the best in life when you do not consider yourself worthy of it. 

Not even the best in life… simply buying new clothes that don’t have holes in them, cleaning your bedroom and taking basic care of yourself…

You will only continue to tolerate low quality relationships and friends with low honour when you consider yourself unworthy of anything better. 

All 3 aspects of self love benefit and feed one another. Cultivate more of one and the others will increase in turn.

If you do not feel worthy of love, due to years of self-neglect, you will not give it to yourself nor will  you accept love from others. 

It will often be met with resistance and an inner-dissonance that does not know how to handle good treatment. 

Practical self love can be measured simply by considering whether or not your actions send a message of self-respect or self-neglect, and how worthy and deserving you feel of better standards.

Your actions will show this clearly, regardless of what you might say. 

People pleasers are low in self love… 

They do not respect themselves and this colours one’s entire life. 

Similar to the example of spending £120 on weed every week, while making excuses not to buy myself a t shirt or take myself for a haircut… 

Look for such examples in your life. 

Do you respect the time of others yet waste your own? 

Do you respect the boundaries of others, yet are unable to assert them yourself? Saying yes when you mean to say no, and no when you mean to say yes? 

Do you respect your needs and value finding ways to ensure they are met, or do you tend to neglect yourself and self medicate to compensate for the lack of nourishment you feel?

Will you often overeat, overtrain, overwork, oversleep, or overdo yourself in some way or another, often times just to please others? 

Your body is a place to be respected. 

How and what you eat say a lot about your levels of self respect. 

I remember when I first began meditating, an interesting invitation to increase self respect, that I inherited from being raised in the teachings of Islam. 

That is… respecting your practice so highly that you do not break it for anybody… no matter how rude they may consider you to be, or how much you can feel them disapproving of you as you refuse giving them what they want. 

Boundaries…

I would sit and meditate, when my mother or a friend would attempt to speak to me. 

Initially in experiencing this it would be incredibly difficult to continue on practicing without being hoarded by thoughts of how rude they must have thought I was, and so I would open my eyes.

Rather than respecting my own mental health and spiritual practice, I would give my time and attention away instead. 

Then it occurred to me that in Islam, when a muslim prays there is no breaking away, under almost no circumstances whatsoever. 

When a muslim breaks his or her prayer, this is extremely disrespectful. If you ever see a muslim doing this, you’ll know that their heart is not in it. 

So… I applied the same principle with meditation. 

No breaking the practice. 

Not for anyone, not my mother, not my best friend, certainly not my phone, and not somebody knocking at the front door. 

I apply the same now to my business and purposeful work. 

Respect your practice, respect yourself, respect your pursuit. 

This will require you to sacrifice your self image a little. 

For in the eyes of others you will inevitably appear rude and inappropriate in some instance. 

Stay true to what you know is best for you. 

As long as it doesn’t harm others. 

Let them disapprove or be confused. 

Let them laugh… for in reality, each and every person longs to be authentic without the over-concern of what others might think. 

Set boundaries, command privacy…

Practical Self Love is sometimes as simple as taking a shower. 

Bathing. 

Cleaning your bedroom. 

Changing your bedsheets. 

Washing your clothes. 

Paying for a haircut. 

Buying the new tool for your business that you know will help a lot. 

Clarifying your priorities in life.

Doing your chores and tending to the home.

Or cleaning your car…

Like I said… I would make whatever excuse not to get myself new clothes, claiming not to have the money when spending an unwise amount on weed… 

One day I decided to get rid of all my old clothes and buy a completely new wardrobe. 

This was alien to me. I was a hand-me-down kid… Always wearing others second hand clothes. 

Now I had a wardrobe of new, fresh, pleasant clothing, all without holes, for the first time in my life. 

This increased my self worth and respect, I began to feel more deserving of better care. 

Then I started taking myself for a haircut. 

This was my treat after a few weeks of hard work and training in the gym. 

It felt amazing to give myself the gift of being served and cared for! 

Soon enough, my self worth was rising so much that dysfunctional relationships had to end. 

It was extremely painful, for they were my brothers, yet it had to happen. 

When you raise the standards for yourself in something as seemingly negligible as whether or not your clothes are clean and without holes, you begin to feel like you deserve better in other domains too. 

Eating better quality food. 

Not overeating or over consuming so that your body feels good, because you deserve it. 

Grooming yourself, looking better, smelling better, taking yourself for a massage… feeling better! 

Soon enough this will spread across your entire life. 

It truly was life changing when I began increasing my self worth through statements of action. 

You can do the same. 

Again… if you want to know how low your self worth is, turn to your actions, not your words. 

You might say one thing, yet your actions do not align. 

Look closely at the excuses you make to avoid treating yourself well. 

To stay in abusive, toxic or neglected relationships. 

Waking up in a messy bedroom. 

Observe how guilty you feel in investing time and money in yourself. 

Buying things you like…

Always remember this… if there is one thing you take from this Mastery Letter. 

Whatever it is you dream of and wish for…

You deserve it…

And you are worth it…

No matter your past, no matter how others treat you or have treated you before. 

You are worthy of love, care and respect. 

Yet others will only respect you to the degree you respect yourself.

Complete Self Love

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Women may generally find themselves more inclined towards Emotional & Practical Self Love (in the form of self care) for they tend to be more connected to their emotions and are generally more accustomed to feeling them. 

It is through this release of judgement that we come to accept ourselves and others more deeply. That we increase in our capacity understand and help others. 

Forgiving the past. 

Looking after one’s physical body. 

Processing emotions and expressing them with fluidity…

Men generally find Rational Self Love easier to practice than the emotional kind. To take oneself to the gym for physical training, alone time, coming into the body and out of the head, dialling in on one’s nutrition, cultivating discipline and committing to self mastery. 

To be better than one was yesterday. 

To be intolerant of one’s self-destructive tendencies… 

To improve each day by 1%

To face one’s fears out in the world, becoming more confident, courageous and able to take calculated risks. 

Although men and women generally tend in different directions, there is a current wave moving through humanity, guiding us all to find Complete Self Love. 

Many women are paying more attention to Rational Self Love, while a lot of men are investing more energy and time in Emotional Self Love. 

Men are healing the pain from the past, learning to find peace within… 

Women are strengthening themselves physically and mentally for they have been failed by weak men. They do not trust in man’s capacity to be rational and so… they compensate. 

Applying a disproportionate amount of attention and energy to one domain of self love can lead to  imbalance. 

This is exactly what happened for me, which will undoubtedly be the same for others, maybe even you. 

I focused so much on Emotional Self Love that I forgot all about the rational, more masculine kind. 

This lead to serious imbalance, a lack of drive, no sense of life purpose and a very child-like mentality… refusing any sense of responsibility. 

There is a Man-Child crisis… I am aware of this. (Read the previous Mastery Letter on The Man Child)

Therefore there is no doubt that other men will be struggling with what I have conquered. 

It is time for such hyper-emotional men to pick up the sword of rational self love once again, if not for the first time, and come to know the benefit of pursuit based self love. 

Developing discipline, making choices that create proudness, becoming somebody they genuinely like and admire… 

Hyper-emotional men lack discipline. In it they will find the freedom, peace and self-worth they crave. 

Many of the women I have worked with over the last 5 years have struggled with an absence of Emotional Self Love and rather dominant in the more rational type. 

All is connected. There is no crisis in men without crisis in women. 

As men have grown weaker and weaker, women have compensated by becoming harder and more rigid. 

Although this provides a sense of independence, professionalism and the capacity to achieve one’s goals, there is a deep emotional longing within. 

Such women become shut off from their sensitivity and spontaneity, their intuition and feminine inner-sense. There is no greater self betrayal for a woman than this… 

She may even fall infertile, miscarrying her child or unable to produce children. 

Strong-Independent type women lack sensitivity and emotional intelligence. It is within allowing themselves to feel the spectrum of emotions deeply, without judgement, and without fear that they thrive. 

This will require a sense of feeling safe in order to be so vulnerable. Let us create this space for them as men.

A woman who does not overly exert herself, who knows how to rest, to stop all activity, and to simply be… 

This is a more complete woman. 

Love is what guides us to our best selves. 

Honestly, I would not have expected myself to be saying this right now. 

I also wrongly assumed that love was weak… 

That it was soft and feminine and not for a masculine man. 

That it was only emotional, not rational or practical. 

How wrong I was… 

Now as I write this, I realise that love is the driving force of all things good. 

Love is what inspires me to write right now. 

Love is what allows us to breathe. 

Remember… 

It is not a feeling, it is a force. 

The life affirming force. 

The truth, not the preference. 

What Would Love Do? 

It occurred to me one day, whilst trying to decide between staying in bed or waking up early as intended, that a query of love can be most powerful in moments of indecision and inner-conflict. 

It takes will-power and discipline to stay awake when your bed is comfortable and cosy. 

Therefore… it takes love. 

I asked myself in that moment as the bed was tempting me back in… ‘what would love do?’

If love really is the answer to our problems and the driving force for all that is good, then surely, love always knows what is best to do… 

Right? 

I was approached instantly with my false conception of love. It said to me that love would get back into the cosy bed because I felt tired and cold. 

Then I let the enquiry process and refine itself for a minute. 

It became evident that love would certainly continue on the path of discipline. 

That it would seize the day with gratitude and thanks as though this might be my last. 

That it would have me step outside, breathing in the fresh air, tuning into the sweet sound of the birds during that priceless, peaceful period of the early morning. 

It would be present, in the moment, mindless and without thinking, arguing or fighting with myself about which choice I should make. 

And so… that is what I did. 

It is that morning right now. 

I have just had a beautiful experience of reconnecting to the practice of Yoga which was for 10 years a fundamental component to my daily lifestyle. 

My fire and love for yoga have been reignited. 

I am thankful to have experienced this, for if I were to have chosen a return to bed… I would surely not have experienced this and would rather instead wake with disappointment, lethargy, guilt and the anxiety of being squashed by time. 

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