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Intro: Escapism & The Avoidance of Oneself

In continuation to the previous Mastery Letter on Remedying World Loneliness: Part 1, I wish to begin by addressing the issue of collective escapism. 

Be the end of this letter it will be made clear how we can truly remedy our own loneliness, radiating connection out into the world. 

For once the cup of one is full, there is plenty to share with others without concern for depletion. 

What is escapism? 

It means to attempt escape from reality. 

Rejecting the here and now, chasing the preference for stimulation that often leads to the numbing of one’s senses. 

Does that mean watching Netflix, playing video games, or enjoying entertainment are forms of escape? 

Not necessarily.

Modern personal development culture might convince you that this is so. 

That if one wishes to master themselves and live a life of discipline, fulfilment and inner peace, one must engage in absolute zero entertainment and recreation. 

I would however disagree with this. 

If you are watching Netflix at the end of the week, meeting all of your duties and having taken significant steps towards your priority goal, there is no harm in a little entertainment.

If however you are engaging in such activity while knowing well that you should or could be doing something else, that there are important matters that need seeing to that you have not yet faced…

Then this is escapism. 

It all comes down to whether or not you have earned the right to numb yourself or indulge in the monotonous. 

Take care of important matters first.

Then enjoy what you wish, as you wish, within the boundaries of divine law.

Steer clear of self-sabotage and degeneracy, enjoying free time once the priority has been taken care of.. 

If you’re reading this, you most likely find yourself indulging before your important matters have been seen to. 

In fact, you’re likely to find yourself attempting escape from the responsibilities that call you, through the use of quick pleasures and instant gratification. 

This is escapism…

Do what you need to do first. 

Solve problems for at least 1-3 hours per day. 

And at the end of the day or week, let yourself be.

If you do not do this, it is likely that the escapism will meet no end. 

Late nights with screens, finding yourself in the midst of bad company, avoiding what you’re being called to do, and who you’re being called to be…

All for sense stimulation and pleasure. 

This is a sure way to breed shame, guilt and fear. 

For there is no escaping in reality. 

Only the illusion of escape. 

For most of us the evening time tends to be most opportunistic for escape strategies. 

What are we attempting escape from? 

The void of sleep… 

Solitude, being with one’s thoughts without any way of ignoring one’s inner scape. 

The early hours of the day can be similar. 

The bottom line is, there is something we would rather not face. 

No matter what that might look like in its external form; sleep, work, or some situation that might challenge us, it is the inner scape we are attempting to escape from. 

That is why the quality of one’s morning and especially evening hours mirror the quality of one’s spiritual maturity. 

Such is the measure of how comfortable one is in facing up to and navigating the internal.

Mastery Tip: When you feel a craving or desire to indulge or grant yourself meaningless entertainment, ask yourself whether or not you have taken care of your duties for the day. 

If the answer is no, focus on showing up and forget about the end-goal. 

Do a little and watch a little become a lot. 

Whatever your work is, ensure you make some meaningful progress before allowing time for entertainment.

Make a daily habit of this and you will go far. 

Remember, escapism is when you partake in a particular act, knowing you would rather be doing something else.

Fear of Death: Avoiding The Void

Every night there is somewhat of a death that takes place. 

The soul leaves the body, connected only by a thread by which it will return upon waking. 

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The following Islamic 2 sheds light on this.

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“It is Allah Who takes away the souls at the time of their death, and those that die not during their sleep. He keeps those (souls) for which He has ordained death and sends the rest for a term appointed. Verily, in this are signs for a people who think deeply.” [Az-Zumar 39:42]

Where do we go when we sleep? 

Physically nowhere, energetically and spiritually, somewhere words can not describe. 

Once again, the spiritual nature of the evening and night time are apparent. 

The world of dreams, where imagination is used as a medium to process what is within one’s subconscious. 

The realm where prophecy may be revealed, visions of the future, memories of the past or repeated stories told of matters unresolved. 

Dreaming can be incredibly healing for us, for the psyche has a chance to offload and let go of experiences held on to by the body during day to day life. 

Is there guarantee of waking up in the morning? 

Let me tell you a story. 

One night I dreamt that I was engulfed in water. 

There was no possibility of breathing, for I was fully submerged. 

Soon I began to feel the fear of death descend upon me. 

Holding my breath and trying my best to rise up the surface, air began to run out. 

I woke with a body full of fear, only to realise that it was not only in the dream that I was holding my breath…

My body, here in its physical form was doing the same. 

I had been holding my breath for an unknown period of time for unknown reasons other than the experience of my dream. 

It struck me that morning…

There was a chance that I may have not woken up. 

Such breathlessness made it clear that it is indeed possible to sleep one night and not wake up come the morning. 

Completely without expectation. 

A seemingly random occurrence. 

Can we ever predict this? 

Most likely not. 

Therefore there is no guarantee of waking each and ever morning. 

It is a gift given to us by our creator. 

The chance to live again. 

And come the night we must then be ready to die. 

For if our time comes, it would serve better to be ready.

I believe our inner being knows this about sleep. 

It knows that sleep is somewhat of a death. 

The being recognises this, yet the ego fears it. 

For in dying there is no thinking. 

There are no problems to be solved. 

No things to be fixed, analysed or understood. 

No experiences to be had at least, not like in this world. 

Sleep is like a void and in a sense it is the cousin of death.

So if one (such as my current self) avoids sleep for stimulation, comforts and connection through other people, it is likely that death is feared. 

Imagine dissolving into nothingness. 

To be nowhere, no-thing, with on wants, no desires, no name, no body, no goals, no friends…

How does that make you feel? 

Either it creates a feeling of dread and fear within you. 

Or it feels like liberation and freedom. 

If fear is your answer, (and be honest), then there is work to be done. 

Death can not be feared when we come to meet it. 

At least, that is if one wishes to have a smooth transition. 

The purpose of life is to have a good death. 

And what does that require? 

A full life, one where surrender is well known. 

Where purpose has been fulfilled, gifts have been shared and love has been both given and received. 

A courageous life, one of the heart…

The word courage comes from the latin word cor which means heart. 

The longest and most important journey any person can make in life is that from the mind to the heart. 

The mind (or ego) fears death. 

The heart knows there is no death. 

The mind clings to the world. 

The heart is of the beyond. 

The mind is limited. 

The heart is infinite. 

Therefore fear of death, fear of being alone, and avoidance of oneself (usually manifest as sleep avoidance) are all solved through residing within one’s heart. 

Once again, this is the essence of all spirituality. 

How does one take residence in the heart? 

Taking Residence In The Heart

It is done through the practice of presence. 

Presence is like the sky. Clouds are like thoughts, feelings, desires, personality traits and anything else transient in this world. 

The backdrop of who we are is presence. 

It is our essence. 

The issue so many of us have, knowingly or unknowingly is that we confuse ourselves with the clouds. 

We take our thoughts to be who we are, along with our desires, preferences, wants and feelings, when in reality this is not true. 

You are the sky… not the clouds. 

You are the presence underlying all that comes and goes. 

The sky has no beginning and no end. 

The same is true for ones essence. 

Clouds are formed by the mind. 

You are not your mind…

Yet you can not come to know this unless space is created between thought and awareness. 

Meditation is the key to touching one’s essence and moving into the heart. 

Through this practice we are able to witness and observe thoughts without identifying with them. 

Space is then created between thought and impulse, lengthening the time one has between stimulus and response. 

Compulsive reactions transmute into conscious responses. 

All escapist behaviours are impulsive in nature. 

They are of the mind, not the heart. 

If one were to reside within one’s heart for long enough, there would be no impulse to escape. 

The question then arises…

Why does one wish not to be in the heart? 

It is either due to ignorance, mistaking oneself with the clouds of the mind and therefore reacting in submission to them. 

Or it is due to what one could call diseases of the heart. 

Imagine the heart is like a home. 

If you wish not to be there, it is because that place of residence is somewhat unpleasant or un-homely. 

Do you have a haunted heart? 

Have you abandoned your heart and left it derelict? 

Has it been taken over by squatters, ghosts and ghouls?

Do you fear taking residence within yourself and therefore cling to the external world as a source of comfort and certainty? 

The heart must be cleaned and made into a safe space for one to feel comfortable taking residence within it. 

Trauma, fear, or the habit of abandoning oneself through impulsive behaviour are what haunt the heart. 

So how does one clean up the internal home? 

Purifying The Heart

Whether or not the heart is a place of preferred residence, spending time within it, out of the head and present in one’s body has a healing effect. 

The light of your conscious awareness is enough to take down the cob-webs and clean your inner quarters. 

The simplest way to clean one’s heart is to practice being present, even when it is difficult. 

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Meditation

Meditation is the key. 

Sitting with oneself. 

Noticing one’s impulses and not reacting to them. 

Over time creating enough space to recognise that the impulse is not oneself but rather an occurrence that both comes and goes. 

Meditation allows one to learn the art of acceptance. 

The thoughts you push away are the ones that re-visit the most. 

Each guest that enters the heart must be greeted and allowed to leave on their own accord. 

Without force, without pushing, nor pulling onto thoughts more preferred. 

The heart is a neutral space. 

It is impartial. 

It has no preference. 

It treats all thoughts and feelings as equals. 

No thought is good, no thought is bad, no feeling is good, no feeling is bad. 

These are labels and judgements which originate in the mind. 

Here’s a link to my multi-part series on meditation, it will give you everything you need to know about establishing a solid, fundamental practice for inner stillness, peace and presence. 

What else can one do to clean the heart? 

It took me 10 years of daily meditation to realise this…

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Prayer

Prayer…

There is no replacement for prayer. 

Communication with the higher power. 

I call it Allah, you may call it God. 

We mean the same thing. 

That which is the origin of all creation. 

Speaking to our Creator is medicine for the heart. 

Through this inexplicable phenomenon, the darkness within our hearts can be purified. 

The light of God enters one’s heart when a sincere call for help is spoken out into the beyond. 

If you doubt what you’re reading right now, the only way to find out is by giving it a try. 

Pray…

Whether or not you believe in God. 

Pray…

Speak out loud to your creator, whether or not you believe you have one. 

Surely… your call will be answered in the right moment. 

Prayers require persistence. 

Do not be disheartened if you ask for a sign and it does not immediately show itself. 

The test is to be patience.

It is also to be present enough to have one’s eyes open ready to see the signs when they are presented. 

In that moment, notice the sign that has come your way and recognise how it is an answer to your prayer. 

The mind will want to put it down to coincidence. 

Such is the nature of the ego. 

Ungrateful, forgetful and too proud to admit that there is a power above it. 

Prayer requires humility. 

Consistent prayers clean the heart through divine will. 

Once again, your mind may feel resistant to this. 

Thinking will not prove what I say wrong. 

Only trying has a chance to do that. 

So try…

Get out of your analytical, thinking mind and pray. 

Do not overcomplicate it.

Just speak to your creator as though speaking to a friend or an all-powerful force of love. 

Similar to a parent, but beyond that. 

The parent of parents. 

The Most High. 

Finally, the last method I wish to share with you for cleaning the heart is fasting. 

Fast not only from consumption, but from ill-speech, media that taints the mind and heart, and acts that are impulsive and from the lower nature. 

You’ll know exactly what these are when you pay attention to them. 

Fasting forces you into your heart. 

For there is no escape through food or consumption of any kind. 

It serves even better when taken to the elite level. 

That being, when one fasts with all sense organs. 

Looking not at that which is impure. 

Speaking not in ways which are impure. 

Listening no to that which is impure. 

You get the picture. 

Fast with your entire being. 

Break the patterns that have brought dirt into the home of your heart. 

Thirdly, the next method I wish to share with you for cleaning the heart is...

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Fasting

Fast not only from consumption, but from ill-speech, media that taints the mind and heart, and acts that are impulsive and from the lower nature. 

You’ll know exactly what these are when you pay attention to them. 

Fasting forces you into your heart. 

For there is no escape through food or consumption of any kind. 

It serves even better when taken to the elite level. 

That being, when one fasts with all sense organs. 

Looking not at that which is impure. 

Speaking not in ways which are impure. 

Listening no to that which is impure. 

You get the picture. 

Fast with your entire being. 

Break the patterns that have brought dirt into the home of your heart. 

And finally, 

The last method I wish to share for cleaning the heart is through...

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Exertion (Surpassing One's Perceived Limits)

What does this mean? 

It means to push oneself beyond the limit of imagination.

Story time again…

I recently trained 8 weeks for a boxing bout. 

It was my first one, never had I done something like this before. 

In fact, this was something I feared greatly. 

Getting hit in the face, going toe to toe with another man. 

As a youngster I grew to avoid conflict through the fear of being hurt. 

A coping strategy due to being consistently picked on by my Father and older brother that led me to becoming mr. nice guy, a chronic people pleaser.

For years I have felt as though I needed to learn how to fight. 

Especially since recognising how essential masculinity is for the modern man today. 

Our role in society and the family is to protect and provide. 

How could I wish to meet my beloved wife while unable to protect even myself? 

How would my future wife and children feel safe around me if I myself were afraid of conflict? 

So…

The 8 week training camp was the most difficult challenge I have subjected myself to to this day. 

It required constant facing up to fear. 

Exercising courage (from the latin cor) and therefore expanded my heart. 

I put in so much work…

I visualised victory, prayed for it repeatedly, trained for extra hours every week…

The result? 

Victory. 

Triumph. 

We got the win! 

Yes… We. 

For it was impossible to do this alone. 

My coach, my brothers supporting me leading up to the fight and on the night.

Cheering my name. 

All of those who couldn’t come to the event that sent prayers my way. 

The girl behind the counter at the tea shop, who had been praying for my victory since the beginning of the camp…

There was no winning that fight alone. 

It was a collective effort. 

You see how this is opposite to loneliness? 

Upon my hand being raised when announced as winner, I cried tears of gratitude. 

My entire face was an expression of the divine smile. 

God had given me the courage to show up to training and spar time and time again. 

Every single time I was afraid. 

Before every session I would consider staying home, safe, comfortable and unhurt. 

Yet I chose to show up. 

The prayers were answered. 

The visualisation manifest. 

It all came together. 

And most importantly…

I broke the pattern of being a conflict avoidant. 

Finally…

I feel confident to say that I can fight. 

One fight is not much, but it’s enough to know that I can fight a man and win. 

So…

The morale of this fourth method for purifying the heart is to stretch oneself far (but not too far) beyond the realms of comfort. 

Get out of the comfort zone. 

Whatever it is you both desire and fear, head in that direction!

Let you compass be aligned with the combination of fear and excitement. 

For walking head-first in such a direction will test your character and shape you into the person you know you are deep down. 

This process removes veils cast over the heart by the mind or through adverse childhood experiences. 

Allowing the heart the shine and reflect God’s light with more clarity.

Do the thing you both fear and desire. 

Come to know how you are capable of more than you imagined. 

When you feel like giving up, a force from beyond the mind will push you to continue. 

This grants us something beyond mind-based knowledge. 

Rather, it grants knowing that there is a beyond form, beyond mind, that’s really calling the shots.

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Overcoming one's perceived limitations is a spiritual practice.

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It is in fact an act of worship.

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What limitations are you casting upon yourself?

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What would your life be like if you were to overcome them?

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How would the path of overcoming such limitations evolve you as a person?

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Consider this carefully.

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Mastery Tip: Make a list of all the limitations you set upon yourself.

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I am...

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Life is...

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People are...

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The world is...

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Money is...

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What are the things you believe that you know deep down are holding you back from living fully?

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Make a list of them all right now. 

Choose the one that would make the most difference if shattered.

With these four methods combined, meditation, prayer and fasting, you will (God willing) turn your heart back into the hearth it once was. 

A place of warmth, safety and peaceful residence. 

This is rare in todays world. 

And it will allow for restful nights, with no need to escape at all from one’s inner scape. 

Loneliness is remedied when the heart is made into a pleasant space and maintained as such.

For in doing this, there is nowhere to go, with no need to hide or run away from oneself. 

Connection is established within the heart and beyond through the realms of creation. 

One can feel in the best of company sitting alone in a quiet room. 

Provided the heart is clean and warm. 

Whereas one can feel utterly alone in a room full of people. 

In the case where the heart is haunted and left in abandon. 

Born Alone Die Alone? 

This Mastery Letter is turning out different to how I originally envisioned it. 

Such is the will of God. 

I will allow it to be so. 

And I’m sure you’re taking some important value from what I have to share. 

It seems that there are some interconnected themes we are exploring thus far. 

Loneliness, sleep, death, presence, the heart and transcending the limitations of the mind.

I find these all necessary for consideration. 

Loneliness is rooted in the avoidance of oneself, avoidance of oneself manifests as escapism which for many of us takes place of an evening as we avoid sleep. 

Avoidance of oneself roots in the fear of death, and the fear of death roots in one’s identification with mind. 

Identification with mind comes from both ignorance and alienation of one’s heart, which are then remedied through meditation, prayer and fasting. 

That was a short summary of what we have connected thus far. 

Now let us consider something important. 

Many have said for aeons passed, 

“We are born alone and we will die alone” 

Such is given as reasoning for why one should make good company pf oneself. 

Although the purpose of this quote is good, I would not agree so much with it. 

We are born into our mothers embrace. 

Certainly upon birth we are not alone. 

And if we are to die in the same way we are born, 

Are we not then likely to die also into an embrace? 

The embrace of God is said to be even more loving than a mother who nurses her child. 

If this is true, there surely need be no fear of death. 

Imagine death as a waking up into the warm embrace of infinite love, similar to the arrival from our mother’s womb. 

Perhaps it is so. 

Back To Fitra: Circadian Harmony 

Some years ago I was addicted to smoking weed, staying up until 3am in the morning for months on end, binge eating sugar and numbing myself with video games…

This was the trough of my escapist saga. 

I tried to escape life until I was forced to participate in it instead. 

During that time I suffered with great loneliness. 

Things began to change when I realised what I was doing to myself. 

You see…

As mentioned in part 1 of this Mastery Letter, a me-centred-universe creates a tremendous sense of loneliness. 

When one lives solely for the gratification of one’s own desires, one cuts away from the collective and knowingly or unknowingly becomes isolated. 

The wave collapses into a particle. 

The spectrum is split and the section is defined. 

Living only for the wants of one’s mind sends a signal out into the world that one would rather not participate in the collective. 

It says that we do not wish to be part of a greater whole and would rather fester in our own self pleasure. 

Such a life soon enough becomes putrid and miserable. 

For we are social, collective, connected beings by nature. 

All is one in creation. 

Rejecting this truth leads to disharmony both external and internal. 

The dance of nature is always taking place. 

The question is, are we dancing along or trying to play solo? 

One leads to thriving while the other leads most often to misery and disease. 

When the white thread of dawn appears upon the horizon, the flowers begin to open, the birds start to sing and we naturally wake up (if the light can reach us). 

All of nature is in submission to God’s will. 

This creates a harmony we call the circadian rhythm. 

Think of it like a dance.

When we join the dance, we feel part of a greater whole. 

Joining in with the natural rhythm grants us a sense of connection to all of creation. 

We’re in this together. 

Staying up late into the night, waking up late, and refusing to take part in the bodies naturally inclined rhythm separates us from the collective. 

Therefore what I’m telling you now is something you’ve probably not heard anywhere else. 

A powerful remedy for loneliness is to regulate your circadian rhythm. 

This starts with regular waking and sleeping times, tuned in to natures daily cycle. 

It then expands into aligning as best as possible with one’s innate tendencies. 

When we ignore our hearts and take primary residence in the mind, we become confused. 

Meal times leak late into the night, and our activity does not line up with the natural flow. 

Take for example exercise. 

Most people do not feel naturally inclined to go running in the middle of the night. 

This is not in line with what we call in islam, the Fitra. 

Fitra refers to the innate. 

That which every one of us shares, the natural way. 

The night time is for sleeping. 

The evening is for winding down. 

The late afternoon is for eating, family, community and winding down. 

The peak of noon is for the highest intensity physical or mental work. 

And the sun-rise is for waking. 

I studied the Chinese 5 element system which puts what I’ve shared into a solid 5-part daily structure. 

Funny enough, this system was one of the factors in me returning to islam. 

For I recognised that as there are 5 phases in every day according to the Chinese system, there are 5 daily prayers in the islamic system. 

Both systems promote harmony with natures rhythm. 

Harmonising with natures rhythm allows us to thrive. 

Most of the diseases we see today in modern society (both physical and mental) are a result of straying away from the natural rhythm. 

The Fitra, the innate, is where we thrive. 

The head does not know this.

Thinking and living in one’s mind takes a person away from true nature. 

Just look at modern society. 

It is built on mind and breeds disease, escapism and loneliness. 

Therefore to remedy this in our personal lives we must return to the Fitra. 

The positive effects of this will ripple out through our homes and into our communities. 

God willing. 

The benefits of regulating one’s circadian rhythm are not only physical. 

As explored here, they are psychological and emotional too. 

When one joins the collective dance, connection is established and loneliness is kept at bay. 

If you’ve been struggling with loneliness and find yourself in escapist behaviour patterns…

Return to your heart using the guidance outlined above. 

From the heart, you will be less inclined towards impulsive, escapist behaviours, 

And more naturally encouraged towards circadian harmony. 

For the heart is where the Fitra (innate) resides. 

Everything else is either necessary or unnecessary decoration. 

Mastery Tip: Initiate circadian harmony by regulating your sleep and wake times. Prioritise consistency over everything and attune these times with natures flow. 

Over time you can begin to add in other factors. 

Such as eliminating screen time once the sun has gone down (this goes against our nature) 

And ending food consumption at least 2 hours before sleep (sleep is for regeneration, not digestion)

This is surely the simplest way to live a wholesome life rich in well-being, yet modern society is designed very much against it. 

You might find yourself less socially active by aligning with the Fitra, but worry not, you’ll feel more connected than ever…

Dying Daily

As said earlier, sleep is the cousin of death. 

Every night when we sleep, we are in a sense dying to the world. 

Besides there being no guarantee of waking come the morning, we die in the sense of returning to the void. 

The body is paralysed naturally during sleep. 

This is a protection that ensures we do not act out our dreams. 

Sleep and death are very close to one another. 

Therefore each and every night one would benefit by treating this time as a time of dying. 

Let go of what is out of one’s control.

Resolve any grudges or disharmony between oneself and others. 

Ensure love has been expressed courageously. 

Let the truth be spoken so the heart can be light. 

Say prayers and give thanks bringing warmth into the heart.

And lay for sleep as though it could be your last. 

When we bring death close, it grants us a special quality called heed. 

As humans we tend to forget that death could very much be around the corner. 

We have a bad habit of falling into heedlessness. 

Ignorance of death leads us to lower the standards of our daily choices. 

We might lie when telling the truth would be best. 

We might delay when showing up would be better. 

We might argue when if it were our last day, we certainly would not. 

Death awareness grants heed, and heed makes us far more present in day to day life. 

With heed we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and honest with others. 

We might express more love from this place, knowing that there is no guarantee we will see our dear friends or family again after departure. 

Take a moment to consider that. 

When you say goodbye to your friends in the evening, do you know that you will see them again? 

If anybody in your life has suddenly died, you’ll know that there is truly know telling when one’s time to go is. 

Age is surely not associated with one’s time to die. 

A young friend of mine suddenly died last year while journeying through Yemen. 

He was 23. 

The last time I saw him I was quite stern with him. 

Little did I know we would never see each other in this world again. 

Death can come to anybody…

So let it be a motivator that encourages us to be better, more sincere versions of ourselves. 

Honest, loyal, courageous, vulnerable, patient, kind, generous and not taking small matters too seriously. 

Consider this…

Forget about what you would do if today was your last day alive. 

Ask yourself rather:

“If today was your last day, who/how would you choose to be?”  

Make a list of all your answers. 

You will find that what you’re describing is a list of virtues. 

In fact, the virtues embodied by the best version of yourself. 

The person you know you are deep down when the mind is no longer in the way. 

The Fitra, the innate, the centre of the heart. 

When I consider that today might be my last, all I want to do is give. 

I want to massage my mother’s feet. 

To look my family and friends deeply in the eyes and let them know how much I love them. 

To listen, to give thanks to God, to be in constant prayer and kindness. 

To be patient, letting all small matters go… 

Giving very little energy to matters outside of my control, and caring very little about materialistic concerns like money.

Mastery Tip: Ask yourself the question “If today was my last day, how would I choose to be?” 

List out the answers. 

This is a description of the true you.

Say No To The Mind & Yes To The Heart

Some days ago I experienced something peculiar. 

The habit of people pleasing is something I have struggled with for years. 

It was a coping strategy I developed in order to protect myself from bullies.

As a child I learned to be extremely likeable, through being agreeable and becoming somewhat of a yes man. 

This pattern has persisted into adult life and although it has been largely overcome, remnants still exist. 

Patterns as such are diseases of the heart, some call them unconscious limiting beliefs, see them how you will. 

People pleasing, if seen as an unconscious limiting belief says that if I say no to people, they will either hurt me or leave me. 

Many of us have this pattern engrained into our personalities due to adverse childhood experiences. 

On one particular day I was feeling under the weather. 

The heart was giving me clear signals to stay home that evening and take rest. 

If I were to stay home that night, take a hot bath and get an early nights sleep, it would be a statement of self-worth and self respect. 

9 o’clock came around and just as I was about to run my bath, a dear friend called and invited me out for some tea. 

“Stay at home, we need rest” said the heart. 

“Let’s go out” said the mind…

Which do you think I chose to follow? 

The mind it was…

On my way to meet this dear friend I reflected on what was taking place. 

“Am I people pleasing again?”,

“I need to learn how to say no to others”, I thought to myself

Then it dawned on me. 

It is not others that I need to learn to say no to. 

And perhaps it’s the same for you. 

What we need to learn is how to say no to our selves. 

I emphasise the world self here because it is not in fact our true self that we are obeying in such situations. 

It is the mind. The false self. The facade of self presenting itself through thoughts, feelings and desires. 

Saying no to the mind means saying yes to the heart. 

Saying yes to the mind means saying no to the heart. 

Why would one reject the heart’s wish? 

Fear…

Fear of what? 

On the surface is the fear of rejection, of upsetting and disappointing others. 

Yet beneath lays something I have touched upon already. 

The fear of ones hearth…

That being, the home of the heart. 

If I were to run my bath that night and take rest, it would mean no screens, no company, solitude and being with my own self. 

As a meditation teacher it is embarrassing to admit this. 

Although I can enter deep states of inner peace, I still notice aversion to being in solitude. 

Something in me longs for the company of others. 

It’s all about experiencing a sense of connection. 

But as said earlier, there is no greater connection than to be in circadian harmony and connection to all of creation through submission. 

This is easy to know with the mind. 

Yet embodiment of such knowledge is more difficult. 

Knowledge is stored in the mind. 

Wisdom is from the heart and is established when one turns knowledge into applied knowledge through implementation and action. 

From the age of 26-28 I smoked weed every single day to the point of severe addiction. 

I believe it was this period of self-sabotage and intense escapism that I scarred the progress I had made through years of meditation. 

Since then, I’ve been re-establishing my internal relationship. 

During the past year I have made more progress than I did in the previous three years combined. 

Yet… there is still work to be done. 

The current work is indeed as I speak of here. 

To fall in love with solitude once again. 

I was once like a hermit, in the good sense. Somewhat of a modern monk. 

Those years of smoking weed and binge eating all day really did hinder my progress. 

Alas…

I would not change a thing, for that period of intense addiction gave birth to new understandings around behavioural psychology, addiction, and impulse control. 

I’m over 18 months free from weed and binge eating as I write this letter. 

Now it’s time for me to say yes more often to the heart, and no to the mind…

Mastery Tip: If you resonate with what I have shared here, consider doing the same in your own life. 

Notice how people pleasing involves desire from your own mind. That although you know what is best, there’s another voice inside that sways you to choose against your own well-being. 

To please others yes, to avoid rejection and upsetting others yes, but most of all…

To avoid yourself.

May we turn our hearts into peaceful residencies and take homage within. 

For in doing so, we will thrive and put an end to the generational cycles of heart-denial.

Stop Delaying The Inevitable

“Escapism is choosing a behaviour you don’t really want to engage in, knowing well you would rather be doing something more in line with what's most important to you” - Usman Ali

Provided we are gifted another chance to live come the morning, getting up out of bed is an inevitability. 

Similarly, sleeping at night is inevitable also. 

How futile it is to delay these both with escapist behaviours. 

Doom scrolling, consuming entertaining content, numbing ourselves and only passing more time until we eventually submit and do what is natural. 

Do this with me right now. 

Make an oath to end escapism once and for all. 

It won’t happen over night. 

But it will surely happen over time if the intention is set right now. 

Just in writing this letter I have become so much more aware of moment to moment escapism that takes place during the day. 

Checking the phone when stopped at a red light. 

Staying up late and watching shows while fighting to stay awake. 

Scrolling on social media while laying in bed of a morning delaying the inevitability of standing up and partaking in life…

This Mastery Letter has brought much presence into my waking life. 

I want to offer you something very practical…

Deep, abdominal, diaphragmatic breathing…

Escapist behaviour, in other words, delaying the inevitable is mind-centred. 

Such impulsive tendencies originate within the mind, which knows not the truth and casts many veils of illusion over our sense of reality. 

In order to break escapist behaviours in the moment, we have to return to the present moment and defend into the heart. 

The quickest and most easy way of doing this is through taking deep, full body, front-opening, diaphragmatic breaths. 

If you don’t know how to do this, I have a tutorial for you here. 

With that being said, if I know this already, why I am I writing this letter? 

Because one must truly want to end escapism in order to do so. 

Until now, I have allowed myself to escape, but I now see how crucial it is for me to put at stop to it. 

Before you carry on reading, watch the guide on diaphragmatic breathing, it will give you a tool that I know will change your life if applied. 

One single diaphragmatic breath is enough to shift your nervous system from fight or flight to rest and digest. 

Meaning, it only takes a few moments to regulate the nervous system, coming out of the head and back into the heart. 

Make a habit of this and your mental health will transform. 

It’s my goal to do that now. 

The return to the monk I once was…

Always coming to the present. 

Somewhat obsessed with being in the here and now. 

Fixed on being in the heart…

Why Ending Escapism Is So Important

Last night I had an experience in my sleep. 

It’s not the first time this has happened. 

During sleep I somewhat randomly entered an incredibly deep state of meditation. 

Upon doing so, my body was flooded with tingling sensations. 

The next thing I remember is being in a dream-like state, yet I was aware of this and not completely unconscious as in normal sleep. 

A sense of dread washed over me as I became aware. 

I began to hallucinate, seeing a dark figure in front of my bed. 

I sat up and slammed my hands against the wall. 

There was no dark figure after all…

In fact, I was still laying in my bed and hadn’t actually moved a muscle. 

All of this was taking place between realms. 

My dream body (or soul) was the one that sat up and struck the wall. 

All while my physical body lay sleeping and somewhat paralysed.

I was confused, not knowing the difference between reality and the dream world. 

In this confusion, the sense of dread multiplied. 

I tried to persist, yet an overwhelming sense of evil was as though above me. 

I had experienced this before, I had forgotten that surrender would transmute the terror into incredible bliss…

That is what I had experienced when something similar took place a year or so ago.

This time, I felt so overwhelmed with terror and this sense of evil that I called my soul back into the physical body, hastily wishing to wake up. 

My physical body was still paralysed. 

I was aware, yet I could not move. 

This is what people call sleep paralysis…

Fro earlier experience I knew that all I needed to do was swallow and I would regain control over my body. 

Eventually I was able to force a swallow which returned me back to my body. 

The experience was over. 

This might sound freakish upon reading, but let me tell you…

On the spiritual journey one seeks to recognise this reality beyond the illusions of the mind. 

I wish for the knowing of who and what I really am, what this really is… beyond the veils of thought and perception. 

Yet in this particular case, when granted the opportunity to experience the beyond, consciously aware of my dream body and having my concept of reality challenged from the root… 

I chickened out.

I believe that if I were not still partaking in escapist patterns like smoking tobacco, scrolling on social media, looking at girls every now and then for pleasure and consuming snacks when unnecessary…

I would have been able to break through. 

I would have been able to reach the deep sense of bliss and union that come with knowing oneself as an infinite, boundless being. 

Rather, I chose to return back to my physical body. 

The pattern of escapism bled over even into my dream state where the subconscious is dominant. 

Not only is there a seeking to escape from this three-dimensional world…

There was also a desire to escape the dream world and return back into this realm. 

Before I die I want to know what I truly am. 

Not to believe…

To know…

And that can only be done through direct experience. 

If I am going to reach this spiritual goal, it’s going to require a level of courage that few people have. 

The courage to dissolve. 

The courage to let go of what my mind thinks this reality is and rather the willingness to experience it for what it truly is. 

That is why I feel it’s so important to end waking escapist behaviour patterns. 

If you wish to deepen your spiritual journey as I do, then escapism can be no more. 

We must eliminate all need to escape. 

However unpleasant a moment might be. 

However painful an emotion might feel. 

However strong a craving may pull…

We must learn to be within all that is…

For only then will the subconscious have a default mode of surrender and acceptance. 

This is what it means to embody the essence of faith and trust. 

Which are both required for one to transcend belief and enter the ranks of those who know. 

The Arabic word insha’allah means (God willing).

As a muslim, I hear and use this word frequently every day when referring to any desired future event that has not yet happened. 

But what does it mean to embody insha’allah? 

It means to resist no thing in this world. 

To trust that outside of one’s control, there is no control.

That all is happening in accordance to God’s plan. 

From this place there is never a sense of rush. 

There is no force. 

There is no frustration. 

There is no upset.

Those who truly know, as said in the Holy Qur’an shall neither fear nor grieve. 

For the meaning of insha’allah will have moved down from one’s mind into the roots of the heart. 

Knowing vs. Belief…

This is where it’s at. 

Ultimate trust. 

Ultimate surrender. 

Ultimate faith…

With a heart of insha’allah there is no need tor resist, escape or push against any worldly event. 

One trusts completely and therefore suffers little. 

This is the core of spiritual questing. 

To eliminate all unnecessary suffering. 

I pray to have the courage for absolute surrender. 

I pray to let go of all escapist behaviour patterns in this life, for freedom in the next. 

For if I seek to escape this world, the concern is that I will (like in the dream experience) seek to escape the world after. 

And there is no peace in that. 

A good death, as we spoke about at the start of this letter is to be in ultimate rest. 

That, I believe can only be achieved through absolute submission in this world. 

And such is the meaning of Islam. 

Full submission to God’s will. 

In this life and the next. 

Mastery Tip: Pray to break free from all escapist patterns. 

Say your prayers out loud. 

Join me on the spiritual path to true liberation. 

Free from preference, free from mind-illusion and full residence within the infinite heart. 

It is my wish for us all to reach such a station. 

Yet it can not be done through work and effort. 

If it were so easy, we would all have reached enlightenment by now. 

It is incredibly simple, but not easy. 

For enlightenment requires one to let go of all worldly attachments. 

Including the attachment to one’s concept of reality itself. 

We have to be willing to let it all go. 

Even to let go of ourselves and who or what we consider ourselves to be. 

Dissolving into the infinite. 

A drop, reunited with the endless ocean of divinity.

To Conclude

I pray this Mastery Letter has given you some real-world value. 

Abstract as it may be, it is very real…

In fact, this could be the realest letter I’ve written so far. 

For what is more guaranteed than death…

And what is now more troublesome on earth than loneliness? 

We long for connection, yet go about establishing in the wrong ways. 

Rather than seeking connection through stimulation of the senses and escapist patterns, let us find it in harmonising with divine order. 

Circadian regulation means to re-join the dance that is choreographed by God. 

The dance of all creation. 

Refusing to do so is where our loneliness originates. 

Which roots further into the fear of residing within one’s heart. 

Let us renovate our hearts with beautiful decor. 

Cleaning away the cob-webs and warding away the ghosts of the past. 

Diseases of the heart are what lead us to avoiding our internal. 

Through meditation, prayer, fasting and acting upon the wishes of one’s heart, our quarters are cleaned. 

The heart is healed through this courageous work. 

A warm, welcoming heart is something we all deserve. 

And that is where true connection to all that is, is found. 

The remedy to loneliness is not necessarily in making more friends or increasing one’s time spent in social contexts. 

Rather, it is through remedying one’s heart and taking residence within it. 

From there, the right choices are made, The Fitra is returned to and one attracts only what is best. 

Solitude becomes one’s favourite company. 

Therefore with or without the presence of other people, one is never alone but rather…

All-One. 

Now…

I have some final announcements and gifts to share. 

As a thank you for your time and attention. 

FREE Stuff

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If this Mastery Letter was in any way useful to you, take a moment to share it with somebody it might help. 

Most importantly, apply what you have read within your own life. 

Say a prayer for humanity.

And until next time. 

Stay sharp.

Usmān “The Project” Ali