‍

Story

‍

I’ll be honest…

‍

I haven’t had the cleanest journey.

‍

I’m not the purest of souls, and I’ve committed many sins throughout my life.

‍

Wait… before we continue I wish to say a short prayer:

‍

“Oh Allah, forgive me, my brothers, my sisters and all beings from all worlds for the sins we have committed, both minor and major, intended and unintended, done knowingly and un-knowingly.

‍

Bring us closer to you with every breath and every step on the path.

‍

Bring us closer to that which brings out the best in us, and protect us from that which excites our lower nature.

‍

Ameen”

‍

I’ve had girlfriends who did not believe in God.

‍

We had sexual intercourse without being married (God forgive us).

‍

I’ve been heavily addicted to smoking weed.

‍

It was in fact Islam that helped me to break the chains once and for all (Praise be to God)

‍

I’ve disrespected my parents, shouted at my grandmother and fought violently with my siblings.

‍

I was so hurt by their judgement I could not hold myself back from snapping…

‍

Whatever the excuse, this is still unacceptable and only due to internal weakness (God grant us patience)

‍

I’ve stolen from shops, gossiped about my brothers and sisters, and wished pain upon others.

‍

I’ve consumed foul content online whilst in a trance of lust…

‍

None of this I am proud of, but all of it I believe you should know.

‍

Why?

‍

Because the people who have impacted me most in my life are the ones I can most relate to.

‍

The ones who are courageous enough to show their scars.

‍

The ones who speak of their lives while telling my story.

‍

Those who share their sins with a tone of regret and repentance are the impact makers in this world.

‍

As a token of honour I must express my gratitude and respect for Elliott Hulse.

‍

“Elliott, you were the father figure I never had as a child. 

‍

You were the support I needed by my side.

‍

Through your sharing I felt seen, heard and understood.

‍

Through your guidance I found the strength to knuckle down and rise above”

‍

Oh, I forgot to mention. I’ve also taken magic mushrooms and sat in psychedelic ceremony.

‍

I’m not even sure if that is haram.

‍

But if it is… I seek forgiveness for that also.

‍

It seems fitting now (considering the topic of impacting others) to share one of the deepest realisations I had during that experience.

‍

“Compassion comes when we realise that pain connects us all”

‍

Seek The “Real Ones”

‍

Pain is a thread that weaves between each of our hearts.

‍

Pain is how we relate. And relating is how we make a positive impact.

‍

‍

Those sheikhs, priests or even family members that have never shared their story…

‍

Can you honestly relate to them?

‍

These are the same ones who are great at talking but unfortunately don’t lead by example.

‍

Unhealthy, not present, always wearing a mask, and afraid to let go of the facade.

‍

If you don’t feel like you can relate to authority figures in your community seek them out online instead.

‍

Honestly, I think the lack of relatability I felt towards my parents and teachers came from the fact that they never showed me their human side.

‍

This played a major part in my rebellion from both my home islam.

‍

Perhaps black sheep are born through the absence of vulnerability with those closest to them.

‍

Mentors you can trust: 

- Those who share their personal story and experiences

- Those who aren’t afraid to share the mistakes they’ve made

- Those who are real, honest, vulnerable and authentic

‍

Action Step: Whatever your current struggle in life, find somebody in person or online who has already solved it. Look for somebody you can relate to (use the points above)

‍

Using Writing As A Tool For Expression & Discovery

‍

‍

I remember being out for my ex-girlfriends birthday in London.

‍

The music was absolutely terrible and I’d reached my limit of forced, fake dancing.

‍

Typically of me, I left her with her friends and went to do my own thing.

‍

“Ah… finally. What a relief”

‍

Downstairs I met a young man who was in acting school.

‍

Deep conversations in the most unexpected of places, that’s what I’m about.

‍

The guy said something so profound (which I funnily enough can’t remember right now) that I had to take out my journal and write it down.

‍

Yes… that’s right.

‍

I was out partying with a journal in my pocket.

‍

Journalling at that time (and even today) was that beneficial for me.

‍

By the way, take note that I was never good at English in school.

‍

Maths was always my go to.

‍

Writing was something I used to help me process my thoughts and feelings.

‍

To jot down insightful ideas and epiphanies right in the moment.

‍

After feeling the benefits of writing for my mental health, I could never go back.

‍

Another note: I’ve never used journal prompts and neither do my coaching clients. You don’t need instructions on how to write down your thoughts and feelings.

‍

Just write…

‍

Ok, there are some tips I can give you.

‍

Promotion: I share them in The Unchained Coaching program along with everything you need in order to create the long term life transformation you know you need.

‍

You can learn more about it (here).

‍

Share Your Story

‍

‍

God has guided you on the path you’ve walked so far for a reason.

‍

The pains who have faced, the challenges you’ve struggled with… none of it is in vain.

‍

The darkest points in your life are where the most learning takes place.

‍

Those valuable lessons are like diamonds mined from the cave of your soul.

‍

You have to dig deep in order to make it through such times and it has to be through your own choice.

‍

If you’re going through the darkness right now this is your reminder that nobody is coming to save you.

‍

Pray to God of course, and with his help get yourself up and taking the actions you know you must take.

‍

Stop the behaviours you know you need to let go of and step into the next best version of yourself.

‍

Let this also be a reminder that the hardship you’re facing right now will indeed serve a valuable purpose.

‍

That is, helping others…

‍

Every hardship I’ve suffered has taught me lessons that I now share with my students in The Unchained Program.

‍

This isn’t a pitch…

‍

What I’m saying is that one day you might (in whatever way you choose to) share the valuable lessons learned through the trial and fire of life to help prevent unnecessary suffering for others.

‍

You can be the person who has been through the cave, who can therefore help others move through it faster.

‍

There is great purpose and fulfilment in helping other people.

‍

I would say in fact that there is no better act one can do than to serve others.

‍

“The secret to living is giving” - Tony Robbins

‍

So…

‍

Action Step: Start sharing your story. Write, post on social media, or talk to people who are going through tough times.

‍

Let People Judge You

‍

‍

Negative feedback is unavoidable.

‍

Whether you’re sharing your story in person or online via social media.

‍

The first time I posted a vulnerable video on social media I was speaking about my addiction to weed.

‍

I shared a discovery, that my addiction to comfort was rooted in childhood trauma.

‍

That my older brother and father were largely involved in the subconscious wiring that would leave me with limiting beliefs like “i’m not worthy” and “I’m not safe”.

‍

Minutes after posting the video I received a call from my brother.

‍

“You’re playing the victim!” 

‍

“You’re blaming me and dad for your addiction!”

‍

Back then I wasn’t strong enough to stand firm in what I believed to be true.

‍

I deleted the post and felt a deep dropping of my soul.

‍

Something within me knew that I needed to be sharing my story.

‍

That social media needed somebody courageous like me to be authentic and vulnerable.

‍

Who knows where I’d be now if I continued sharing my story from way back then, years ago.

‍

I knew I was going against my purpose for what… the fear of other peoples’ judgement.

‍

A word of encouragement and comfort from recent discoveries…

‍

I’ve been getting a lot of traction on Instagram recently for my videos.

‍

There are heated conversations popping off in the comment section.

‍

Yes… I’ve received some attacks and negativity, but I realise it’s all part of the game.

‍

We’ll talk more about this in another letter, but if you want to get eyes on your content (to share your important message) you have to post polarising content.

‍

This is content that naturally has a dividing effect.

‍

People need to either strongly agree or strongly disagree with your point of view.

‍

If they disagree strongly they will most likely feel the need to voice that opinion (with a comment).

‍

The same goes for the opposite.

‍

Either way, this pushes your content via the algorithm and gets more eyes on your content.

‍

It’s a win no matter what.

‍

The only thing you need to do is accept the fact that negative comments are unavoidable.

‍

To develop a thicker skin that sees negative, judgemental and hateful comments good and not taking any of it too seriously.

‍

Keyboard warriors can say what they want.

‍

Little do they know, the more they comment on your posts with hateful words, the more it will spark discussion and push your content out for more to see.

‍

When my brother got me to delete the earlier post I mentioned I wasn’t strong enough to handle negative feedback.

‍

You have to find security in yourself in order to have impact in this world.

‍

Stand firm. Play the game.

‍

Having an impact & Granting permission

‍

‍

Years ago I was on the phone with my older sister.

‍

We have had some terrible ups and downs (with more downs than ups).

‍

There was something deep on my heart I wanted to apologise for.

‍

I didn’t feel safe however, for she (without judging) is often very closed to real talk.

‍

I know it’s because she doesn’t feel safe, yet it’s a struggle most of the time to help that.

‍

Nonetheless, I mustered up the courage to apologise for something I had done many years ago when we were kids.

‍

She accepted with ease and then to my surprise apologised for something she had done!

‍

Never in my life had I received an apology from this specific sister.

‍

Never had I heard the words “sorry” come from her tongue.

‍

This was the first time, and why was it?

‍

Because I apologised first.

‍

Because I was vulnerable.

‍

This is the essence I am attempting to community through this letter.

‍

Just through sharing your story you will inspire others to open up too.

‍

The more we open up, the more we will feel safe within our community.

‍

Increased emotional safety leads to a reduction in surpassed feelings.

‍

Reducing addictions, escapist behaviours, rebellion and self-sabotage.

‍

Increasing the level of consciousness, compassion and empathy for one another.

‍

Reducing negative judgements and identification with The Ego.

‍

Is this not what we need more than anything within our communities?

‍

An increase in vulnerability?

‍

Get paid to help others

‍

If you see yourself on the entrepreneurial path, this can also become a means for income.

‍