There I was…

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Yet again in my garden, smoking another joint attempting to feel better about my life.

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“Why do I feel so bad?” I thought to myself

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With a degree in Mathematics & Theoretical Physics I still wasn’t smart enough to see that I was causing my own misery through repeated, escapist behaviours.

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Binge eating from morning until night.

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Slumped over in a garden shed, riddled with spiders webs…

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Trying to find release from the pain of feeling that my life had no meaning.

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Don’t be mistaken…

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I knew very well that within me was incredible potential.

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That I was supposed to be doing something great in this world that would change the course of humanity.

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But rather than inspiring me into action it only created more pressure…

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A pressure I was too afraid to face up to.

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So escape was my choice.

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At least… the illusion of escape.

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It eventually dawned on me that my efforts were futile.

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Sure, I could kill myself, but what would happen after that?

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Would that be the end of my misery?

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Would I not just wake up in someone else’s body, right back in the same suffering I tried to escape?

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I remembered being taught in Islamic school how suicide was the gravest of all sins.

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That the punishment for such an act was eternal damnation in Hell-Fire.

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I had not yet disproved such warnings and so I considered them both likely.

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There was no guarantee that taking my life would grant me release and so logically, I had to find another answer to my pain.

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The only option that remained was deciding to live.

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Deciding To Live, Not Exist

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Are you living?

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Or are you merely existing?

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Are your days maximised, ending with a smile of fulfilment or are you wishing away time, yearning for sleep so you can live in your dreams and escape the “real world”?

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When I was doing the same it eventually became clear that no matter how much I wished for it, I could not pause life.

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There is no escape from life, although there are thousands of ways we can trick ourselves into believing that is not the case.

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If you’re struggling like I was, the only way is to make a decision.

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And this is no ordinary decision.

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This is the greatest, most meaningful decision you’ll ever make.

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The decision to live…

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You see…

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A decision is more than a mere choice.

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Deciding means to cut away.

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That is, to cut away alternatives.

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When you decide to live there is no longer a plan B, C, D, E or Z…

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You eliminate all other options.

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You go all in on the gradual process of becoming the strongest version of yourself.

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Strong in spirit, mind, body and business.

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Finding meaning in your life, developing a strong character, building your body and contributing to the lives of others through business.

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Committing to such a life is how you stop feeling so regretful of the choices you’re making and start becoming someone you’re truly proud of being.

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The person you know you were made to be.

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The person Allah designed you to become.

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So what’s it going to be?

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Live?

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Or Die?

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It’s time to make your decision.

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And I’ll be honest…

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If you’re not ready to decide, then you simply need to suffer more until the pain of remaining the same exceeds the pain of making a massive change.

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But please, don’t wait until it’s too late like I almost did.

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All praise be to God for saving my life.

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A Sense of Personal Pride

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It was 5am and I was sat in meditation with a disobedient mind.

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Scattered thoughts bouncing around my head and my usual sharp concentration felt rather blunt.

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They say the early morning hours are the best for spiritual practice.

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For that is when the veil between this world and the unseen is thinnest.

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Seemingly out of nowhere a deep, highly impactful lesson came through.

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“Be proud” I heard from a placeless place.

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My posture, as though moving by itself became more erect.

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My chest was held high.

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My breath increased in depth.

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And in effect, my concentration was instantly sharpened.

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This “insignificant” shift had a profound affect on me, and days later it is still having an impact.

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You see…

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We all want to be proud of the person we are.

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To know that we are growing, progressing and moving forward in life.

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Achievement is a sensation that grants us meaning and purpose.

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And it was exactly these things that I was missing during the escapist, weed smoking days.

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All I wanted was to feel proud of the man I was.

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And all I felt was the exact opposite.

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Chronic disappointment. Regret. Shame, guilt and fear of what life would be like without my crutch.

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I realise now that being proud is not something you do with mere thinking thoughts like “I am proud of myself”.

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Pride is a posture…

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It is a stance you take with your body, and a state that created from holding your chest up high and pulling your shoulders back gently.

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Pride is in showing your heart off to the world.

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And although this is a physical shift it has metaphysical components too, like all things.

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When you show your heart off to the world you are saying to life, “I am unafraid of pain”.

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“Do you very best, for I will persist no matter how many times you knock me down”.

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Pride is pure, warrior energy.

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King mentality.

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Just try it out for yourself and you’ll see what I mean.

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If you’re living how I was, slumped over, regularly engaging in some escapist behaviour that’s not quite doing the job you would like it to, give this a shot.

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Action Step: Sit or stand up with your shoulders pulled back and your chest lifted high.

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Don’t tense up your spine and back muscles. Try to be relaxed, yet erect.

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Breathe deeply into your heart and tuck your chin slightly so it’s not pointed up.

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Keep your eyes straight ahead and fixed on a single point.

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Fully zone in until you feel a sense of tunnel vision.

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WARNING: This can bring up some painful emotions, especially if you’ve been trying to escape them for long enough.

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I encourage you to let your emotions arise so you can release them once and for all.

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You see… the escapist, guilty, regretful behaviour patterns are rooted in unresolved emotional pain.

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Let your pain out and you’ll have less of need to escape.

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Adopt this proud posture as frequently as you can.

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Watch how it re-shapes your confidence, presence and sense of self-respect.

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What how others begin to treat you differently and gravitate towards you.

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A heart held high with eyes straight and chin settled creates a whole new atmosphere that benefits not only you but others as well.

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And it is from this place, this state, that you will be far more able to take decisive action in ways that leave you feeling well and truly proud.

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Posture up first.

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Then get to work.

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The proud posture will most likely grant clarity on what it is you need to do.

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Clarity is Action

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Everyone talks about taking action.

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But what if you don’t know what actions you’re supposed to be taking?

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I struggled with this for so long while building my coaching business from zero.

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I knew I wanted to focus and be productive.

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But not knowing what to channel productivity into was leaving me feeling stuck, confused and frustrated.

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Well, practically speaking it is important to clarify what your most important goal is.

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1. Desire - Ask yourself, “what are my current most burning desires”

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Write out the answers and then categorise them into both “urgent” and “important”

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Choose one burning desire that is both honestly urgent and important.

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Now you know what you want.

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Then what’s important is to make a list of the biggest obstacles between you and that outcome.

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2. Obstacle - Ask yourself “what’s stopping me most from fulfilling that desire?”

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Again, categorise honestly into urgent and important to be solved.

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Choose one main obstacle you’re going to dedicate to solving.

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Now is where your life turns into somewhat of a game.

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3. Research - The next step is to come up with ideas on how you’re going to overcome this main obstacle.

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A tip in doing this is to call upon others who have already overcome it in their own lives.

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Someone out there has posted the solution you’re looking for on the internet.

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Or at least, what it was that worked for them when they faced the exact same obstacle.

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In other words, you’re researching solutions presented by those who have already overcome what you’re currently challenged with.

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Choose one approach to overcoming your obstacle, perhaps the one that appeals most to you.

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4. Action - Finally make use of your proud, erect posture and push yourself into forward moving action.

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Implement the approach to solving the biggest obstacle between you and your most burning desire.

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This will likely not be so straight forward.

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There will be mistakes, blind spots and points of weakness in the approach.

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Extract lessons from your wins and losses, adapting your approach as necessary, until you find something that finally works.

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And there you go…

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Knowing “what to do” is no longer a problem, and you can apply this 4 step DORA system to the achievement of basically any desire.

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Misunderstandings About Pride

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The word “pride” is charged and therefore might lead to misunderstandings.

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Pride can be seen as an honourable trait, while it can also be seen as arrogance.

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Most people hear the word pride, especially from religious backgrounds and think of the latter.

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I want to reassure you that if you have the same associated meaning of pride with arrogance, this is not what I have been encouraging.

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What I’m talking about here is a sense of nobility. 

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Grace, dignity and reverence, are other words we could use to describe what it is I am attempting to point at.

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We stand or sit in prayer usually with our chest and eyes facing down.

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What I’m suggesting is that you start praying with your chest up, while keeping the eyes facing down in order to remain in a state of humility.

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Proud humility…

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The eyes rest upon the ground, shielded from worldly distraction and humbled in the presence of God.

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While the heart is raised and aligned with His throne.

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Perform all acts with dignity.

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Cook, drink tea, walk, work, meditate, wait, stand and keep this concept in mind with everything you do.

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Whatever word is correct, I do not know.

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Above are some suggestions.

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You decide which makes most sense to you.

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The definition is not of utmost importance.

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What is however is the posture described.

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Heart facing up, shoulders back, chin level to the ground.

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Let this influence everything you do.

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From this place it’s hard not to be graceful…

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Summary

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You feel bad about yourself simply because of the choices you are making.

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Sometimes change however is not so simple.

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You can desire change yet feel utterly paralysed in bringing that change about.

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If that sounds anything like you, then start with your posture.

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I know it sounds simplistic.

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“How is changing my posture going to change anything?”

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Well, you would be surprised at just how “antenna-like” the human body is.

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Get into the habit of holding your heart up high with your chin tilted level to the ground.

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It will feel uncomfortable at first.

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The state this posture will put you in can be referred to as:
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• Pride
• Grace
• Dignity
• Honour
• Reverence
  ‍

Label it however you wish.

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What’s most important is the physical expression of it through erecting your posture.

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From this place you’re more confident, certain, clear headed and congruent with the values and virtues you deem most important in life.

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This is the embodiment of dominance, but not in an oppressive manner.

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Try it for yourself, if you’re humble enough to give something new a shot, there’s no doubt you’ll benefit.

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I hope this was helpful and…

‍

If you’ve read all the way until this point, you’re a very rare gem.

‍

So before you go, here are some things I want to offer you.

‍

50% Off Alpha Mind - If you want to master your concentration and focus for productivity and inner-peace, seize the discount on my new meditation program before it’s gone! (Learn more)

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Book A Free Coaching Call - If you’re tired of taking one step forwards and three steps back on your discipline journey, and want to become the version of you that you most admire, here’s how I’m doing that for myself and can help you do it too. (Learn more here)

‍

5 Element Yoga System - Developing a daily yoga practice changed my life forever from the inside out. Here’s how you can get started today. (Learn more here)

‍

Free Stuff:

‍

The Mastery Letter: I write a new letter every week. If you’re not already, sign up here so you don’t miss the next issue. (Remember to check your junk/ spam folder) (Sign up here)

‍

Habit Tracker: I struggled with self-accountability for so long until I started using this simple, free tool. (Download free here)

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You have my gratitude for taking the time to read all the way until the end.

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You truly are a special one.

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As always, I wish you well.

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Take action, knowledge without implementation is useless.

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Stay sharp

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@usman_unchained

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