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You must slow down so you can become aware of the unconscious thoughts, feelings and sensations taking place within your body that are influencing your behaviour. 

The only way to do this is by first slowing down, slowing down the breath, slowing down the body, and examining one’s own mental scape, for this process is lightning fast when running on auto-pilot, it is too easily missed. 

With enough practice and awareness you’ll begin to realise that certain situations trigger you to breathe differently, stress causes your breathing to lose depth, this accumulates tension in your body, and that tension demands a quick release. 

I will share with you a story…

The story of a man who struggled with self control, yet learned how to master his impulses.

Delayed Gratification: A Story of Impulse Control 

There was once a man who longed to love, and be loved.

Every day he would walk the streets, searching into the night for a woman, a bottle, an indulgence, and a distraction that he believed would make his heart content.

Destructive habits had crept into his life, for the most wholesome methods of fulfilling his needs were not the most convenient.

Abusing his body, spending the last of his coin to lay with women, overindulging in rich foods and ever-chasing something to stimulate and excite him… for his life had fallen dull. 

None of this provided any true satisfaction. He longed for true connection and fulfilment that did not lie in these illusory sources.

“Behind every addiction is a wounded Lover.”

The man was a slave to his impulses… 

When desires arose, he would seek to gratify them as quickly as possible, caught in an unconscious, hypnotic rhythm.

Gluttony, lust, sloth, overstimulation and any attempt to escape the very present moment.

Such a life darkness the heart, making it blind to the light of God… 

Unable to see truth, caught in the many illusions of body and world. 

A cloud of despair had formed over the man’s head, and his chances of finding love felt thinner by the day.

One night, under the light of a full moon, he lay unconscious among the warm cobblestones of a desolate road. Homeless, hopeless, heedless… 

Drunken with a bursting belly, yet empty in his heart, attempting to escape deep emotional pain and lack of life purpose, he had fallen into the void of his consciousness.

He dreamed of his destiny, that which would be his fate if he were to continue on the current trajectory. In close proximity to the gates of Hell he witnessed the torment of souls similar to that of his own.

Fat, depleted, drunken, addicted, scattered, gluttonous and greedy… a worshipper of desire… A slave to his senses… A puppet to his ego and lower nature. 

Those beyond the gates were suffering beyond imagination, with skin and flesh melting off their bones, blood and puss oozing out of their eyes and ears… 

They would suffer beyond any suffering imaginable, and when their bodies were beyond recognition, they would regenerate and experience the pain once again.

Forever in a cycle of torture… 

He saw others in torment, those who would spend their days pursuing the gratification of taste and numbing of the mind, attempting to find an escape through intoxicants and rich foods… 

In the Underworld their pain and suffering was much worse. They were forced to drink boiling blood, and to continually eat the fruit of an evil tree, covered in thorns that would burn their insides. 

Having lived their lives by the hand to the mouth, attempting to avoid unpleasantness, they we now in eternal hunger and thirst, forced to consume only unpleasant things.

Whatever the person had compulsively used during their lives as an attempt to escape reality, was turned against them in this realm.

Smokers, choking endlessly on hot steam, scolding their air passageways, forever gasping for breath. 

Screen zombies, with heads fixed in braces, forever starring into blinding lights, unable to blink with eyes burning, yearning to be moistened, attached to some sort of demonic technology that would have them re-experiencing the worst moments of their lives on a full body, visceral level. 

These souls had failed the short test of life. The test to grow. The test to detach. Trading the most valuable resources, time and energy for nothing but illusion, only growing more attached to the world of form, preferring the body and mind to the spiritual heart. 

The man saw himself being the next in line for such a terrible existence. The gates opened before him, and the demonesses with whips and chains dragged him into oblivion. 

“”NO!, don’t take me in there, I’ll do anything, I’ll do anything!” Kicking and screaming, he woke. 

Dripping in sweat, his eyes were wide and his heart was pounding out of his chest. In this moment the man knew it was time…

Time to change, to turn his life around, to get back onto the right path and develop the discipline and will of a strong, virtue driven man. 

A man that knows all forms will vanish one day. 

Who knows his true essence is beyond the body and mind. 

Accepting that there are great consequences for his actions, for better and for worse and that he must take his life seriously, prizing each day. 

The man realised what a waste he had made of his life. Yet he did not wallow in this, he immediately set the intention to become a better version of himself. 

It was time to shatter his lust for the lower world, so that he might win back his freedom and proximity to The Divine… 

“I must become a man worthy of the lover I seek.” He said to himself with conviction. 

There was a holy place where some answers might have been found. A Mosque, a place of worship for those who believe that the purpose of life is to surrender one’s will, not to live slave to it.

Upon entering, he was met by a peculiar, old man. 

“I am seeking help. It is urgent. For I fear my soul will be damned for how I have lived… I wish to become a man who is worthy of his dearly beloved” 

The old man looked at him for a brief moment, smiling gently.

 Turning to his side, he reached into his satchel and took out a small object, wrapped in delicate cloth. 

“Unwrap it,” the Old Man said. 

The man took the object and removed the cloth…

It was his favourite sweet food, a pastry filled with dates, nuts and drowned in syrup. That which he could not resist, which he craved and would consume daily until his belly was full… and even further. 

The old man placed the treat upon a small plate and placed it before the man, who was confused at this point yet sincere in seeking guidance. 

Before noticing, his left hand had moved towards the pastry. As though it had its own consciousness, it grabbed the food before he could intersect the impulse. About to consume, the old man’s words stopped him. 

“Wait…”

“If you can sit still and wait with this treat in front of you for just 5 minutes, I will give you two of them,” he said. 

“Two?! Deal!,” said the man, excited like a child, eyes wide and mouth salivating, yet willing to endure… which was not like him at all. 

So they sat… 

The first minute felt like an hour. 

The second minute felt like a day… 

“Oh… let’s just eat it, one is good enough, we do not need two, do we?.” A voice whispered in his mind’s ear… Yet it occurred to the man that he did not have any money. This opportunity was something he did not want to miss.

The third minute passed, he could feel his jaw clenching, his body tightening, and his hands, particularly his left, beginning to shake and fidget.

“Relax your jaw, soften your body, breathe slow and deep” The old man said. 

The man looked confused, what benefit could these instructions possibly yield?

“You are not your impulse,” The old man explained. 

The man did what he was instructed to do… 

The fourth minute passed, it seemed to pass quicker.

Now it was beginning to get interesting. 

Surprisingly calm, the man breathed long, slow and deep breaths, relaxing tension throughout his body. 

The last minute passed, and felt like a moment. 

Two treats now lay gleaming on the plate. 

It was time! 

“Wait…” said the old man. 

Sit for another 5 minutes and I will give you 4 treats in total. 

Confident now that he could endure the pain of waiting, the man accepted another challenge. 

Sitting once again… 

This time, the 5 minutes passed with even more smoothness. 

This strange game was beginning to fruit enjoyment. 

“Time to feed,” the craving whispered. While reaching for one of the 4 treats, animated and excited to indulge, the old man gazed into the man’s eyes… 

“Wait.” Once again. 

“If you can sit endure an additional 30 minutes I will take you out to the finest restaurant in our town, you can eat and drink to your heart’s content. Then I will take you to a place I know, where you will have a comfortable space for sleeping and facilities for bathing. 

There will be beautiful women, the entertainment you enjoy most and you can keep the 4 treats for dessert.” 

Shaking in his seat, the man accepted this challenge. He was now without a home, and this gesture was just what he needed to pick himself up and get back on the right track. 

“I accept,” the man said. 

This time, the old man did something strange. 

He placed his cloth over the 4 treats, covering them from immediate sight, and positioned them just out the man’s immediate reach.

Not understanding the intention behind this, the man shrugged his shoulders and began the 30 minute challenge. 

A few minutes in, his eyes began to wander, desperately seeking distraction through anything that would grant mild stimulation. 

30 minutes seemed like eternity, this was much harder than he had imagined at first. 

5 minutes in and he was beginning to feel agitated. The man gazed at the cloth covering the treats, desiring them and wanting to cease this silly game. 

“The end feels so far… I am already sleeping on the street, how good can one night with a comfortable bed and women to play with be, when I will just return back to the lonely, hard, cold stones outside?” His whispers said. 

Excuses began to creep into his mind and seeds of regret sprouted for having accepted this more difficult challenge.

His body yet again became tense, jittering with agitation, overwhelmed by the perceived distance between now and the end. 

The cravings worsened…

Then he remembered his newly acquired techniques for impulse control. 

Long, slow breaths… withdrawing his attention inwards, aware of the subtle sensations within his body and allowing them to relax. 

10 minutes had now passed. 

Something interesting then occurred. 

The man had forgotten about the syrup loaded pastries. 

Strangely enough, he did not even desire them any longer. 

“What an interesting cloth that is, resting over the plate,” his mind said. 

Appreciating the intricate detail and patterns woven into it… Back to long, slow, deep breathing and body relaxation the man returned. 

Now 20 minutes into the challenge… 

“Whispers are in my mind, uncomfortable sensations run through my body, yet I am witnessing them. Neither pushing, nor pulling…” the man pondered.

“It is clear, these are but signals, waves coming and going, yet I am not the wave, I am behind it…” 

A deep sense of inner-peace pervaded the room.

Time dissolved, as did all internal resistance, the fight was over, yet not through force but surrender instead. The 30 minutes came to completion. 

Slowly… the man opened his eyes to a room he felt as though he had just arrived.

Colours were intensified, sounds were clearer and his mind was empty. 

Overjoyed by his progress, surprised with what he was capable of, he asked the old man “what happened there? I no longer desire the treats…” 

“You do not desire that which you do not see,” said the old man. 

He had covered the treats with a cloth, which seemed trivial at first, yet this proved to make an incredible difference in how strong the man’s cravings and impulses would feel. 

“When you do not see that which you desire, you do not desire that which you once saw”, said the old man, with leering eyes. 

This was a breakthrough for the once suffering man.

“Why do I experience such quietness of mind all of a sudden? I have never experienced such stillness in all of my life,” asked the man. 

The wise elder remained silent.

Ready for a much earned feast, the man began to stand. The old man looked up and said…

“Wait… it is time for your final lesson on this night”

“You do not desire that which you do not think of, now… sit for 10 more minutes and do not think of the treats beneath this cloth”.

The man sat and attempted not to think of the treats. 

The more he attempted not to think of his sweet rewards, the more such thoughts would occupy his mind.

“The harder the push, the stronger the pull,” the old main said, noticing his new student struggling.

The first 5 minutes were slow and painful, it felt as though the man was being dragged through time, aggressed by thoughts entering his mind, while attempting with force not to think of them. 

“Stop trying”, the old man said suddenly. 

“Release all preference towards your thoughts. No pulling, no pushing” he suggested. 

The struggling man attempted to put this into practice. Allowing thoughts to arise, yet no longer judging them as right or wrong, good or bad, desired or undesired. 

“Observe… do not attempt to control that which can not be controlled”, the old man said with a semi-serious tone. 

Suddenly, the man’s shoulders dropped. 

When a thought of the treats would arise, he did not judge.  

When a thought of anything else would arise, he would not judge. The peace he felt before now returned.

It was as though he was in a timeless space, without thought, without mind, purely still. 

The last 5 minutes were over in a moment… 

Smiling, the old man spoke once more. “Whether you want it or do not want it, if you think of it you will want it” 

Now… it is time for your reward. 

The man remained seated and still. 

“Can we sit for longer?” He said. 

The old man’s smile increased, his eyes were sincere and loving. 

“Let us be” the old man said softly, and together they sat in peace for a time that felt neither long nor short.

There was an expansion of silence in the Mosque. 

An hour had passed, the man who had been previously woken by his nightmare that day, was as though new. 

The man’s stomach began to rumble. 

“I am hungry, can we go now?” He asked the old man. 

The master gently bowed his head, affirming the request. 

They stood, ready to leave, when the call to prayer began echoing through the space, across the entire town. 

“First, we must pray. Please, join us in worship.” 

Together they stood with a group of other men, standing in prayer. 

It had been years since the once addicted man had been in such a setting. Memories of his childhood arose and tears filled his eyes as the Imam recited verses of The Qur’an. 

The sound penetrated his heart.

“Ameen” the group of men chanted all at once, prolonging the sound, reverberating from deep within the belly. 

A wave of energy rose up the man’s entire being, his eyes rolled towards the centre of his brow.

He felt as though he was a drop of water, who had merged with the entire ocean.  

“This sound…, this feeling… at last…” he thought.

“I have found my beloved.”

The man’s heart was filled in a way he did not know possible.

The feast did not exist. He no longer desired anything other than to experience more of this divine connection. To grow closer to God… that was now his only wish. 

He had experienced the feeding of his soul, a quenching of spiritual thirst that he had too long been mistaken for sense pleasures and the desire to be loved by a woman. 

This was a love greater than any he could experience through worldly pursuit. A peace deeper than all mind-numbing intoxication, a satisfaction greater than food could ever offer, and a connection more real and deep than the most advanced of all technologies. 

This was beyond form, beyond words… 

The postures continued and the prayer came to an end. 

The old man touched him on the shoulder and said, “come, let me fulfil my promise to you, your cup has been filled, yet as long as we are in this body we must tend to it’s needs” 

Saddened to leave, the man agreed…

They ate well, but not to the point of fullness, no alcohol was consumed and no women were indulged in.

Surrounded by that which he was once powerless to, the man remained unmoved as though a shield had been cast over him.

“When your heart is full and has tasted the love of God, you desire not the things of this world,” said the old man, before sharing his final words.

“Intimacy with your Lord is even greater than that between a nursing mother and her beloved child. The fortress of Allah protects you and must now be maintained. Remain in the heart.” 

That night, the man slept comfortably in his promised bed. 

A smile, gently formed on his face. 

Hopeful for the future. 

Thankful for this peculiar turn of unexpected events. 

Grateful to God, for having given him the chance to not only exist, but to live… 

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This story illustrates the practice of delaying gratification. 

It encapsulates the importance of increasing the challenge gradually and progressively. Soon I will share with you a method through which you can make this incremental process even more practical and measurable. 

If you wish to develop your willpower, you must learn to delay gratification and master your impulses. 

Make use of the tools and techniques that were shared by the old man. 

Develop your capacity and ability for impulse control through breathing deep and slow when cravings arise. 

Draw awareness inwards and become mindful of subtle sensations throughout your body, releasing tension and judgement towards them.

Shield your gaze from that which you desire, for you do not desire that which you do not see. 

Release the attempt to stop thinking of that which you desire, yet wish not to pursue, for that which you wish not to think of will indeed be thought of, and that which you think of, you desire. 

Have no preference for thoughts and feelings, this is the practice of non-judgement, there is no good or bad thought, and no good or bad feelings, this is neutrality, equanimity, the bridge from low vibration into higher vibrations. 

Release the addiction to positive states, for all impulses are fired from the aversion to what is judged as unpleasant and the craving for that which labelled is more pleasant. 

When you release judgement towards thoughts, the mind becomes quiet, for judgement is what makes the mind so crowded, scattered and loud. 

Rather than trying not to think of that which you crave, immerse yourself in the present moment, surrendering to the here and now of your current state. Do not fight with the beast of thought and desire… The battle is won by disengaging. 

And finally, pursue the experience of divine love, however that may be for you on your unique path, for a full heart full of spirit is satisfied and seeks not to escape through worldly means… 

Sometimes we think we want one thing, when in truth we desire something else. 

The desire for women may mask the desire for true love.

The desire to overly indulge in eating may cover the need for true fulfilment. 

The desire for intoxication may shroud a longing for deep, spiritual connection and transcendence of the mind…

The desire for smoking may be mistaken for wanting to feel a sense of relief, opening the heart and dropping tension carried by the shoulders. 

Pursue your needs over your wants.

Sigh… 

Exhale… 

Fulfil your needs, and the illusory, attached desires will fade away… 

The Game of ‘No Goes’ 

There is a practical, measurable, somewhat gamified way of tracking your inner-strength for impulse control, raises one to a higher station of will-power. 

That is… the practice of counting daily ‘no goes’. 

What is a no go?

Put in the simplest way, it is when you feel to do something, yet choose not to. When an impulse arises, and you resist giving in to it with a clear no. 

This could be a craving, it could also be an itch, the desire to get up and distract yourself during work, to eat something when you’re bored, picking up your phone to scroll on social media, or even to interrupt somebody while they’re speaking, when you should be actively listening. 

Aim to hit a number of no goes each and every day. 

Start small with 10 perhaps. 

Increase to 15 a day the next week, and increment gradually. 

Rather than giving in to the old pattern, have a detailed strategy for how you’re going to respond better. 

This is called your moves list. 

A behaviours or activities that serve as substitutions and alternatives when you feel the desire to be impulsive or satisfy a craving. 

Plan out your strategy…

When I want to do X, I can do W, Y or Z.

This will help you in stacking no goes.

You’re not just saying no and creating a void of emptiness… 

Rather, you’re replacing something old and self sabotaging with something new, productive, beneficial and empowering.

Do not underestimate this practice. 

It will feel difficult, perhaps keeping score and rewarding yourself with something productive or beneficial for your life would be a good idea? 

Track your no goes…

Actionable step: 

Take a sheet of paper or open your notes app and specify 1-3 will-power depleting behaviours you wish to replace. 

Make note of what you can think and do in substitution. Choose actions that are wholesome, one’s that provide a sense of fulfilment and progress towards your needs and intended life goals. 

Be creative with your strategy and anticipate the firing of old patterns, become aware of the contexts within which familiar impulses arise, and note down the habits, places and people grouped together with such impulses. 

Eg. Smoking

Replacements: 

• Deep, mindful breathing
• Conscious sighing
• Steaming the face with essential oils in hot water

Partnered contexts: 

• Sitting
• Drinking tea
• Boredom
• Watching YouTube videos

Outwitting The Devil is a book that sheds light on this well: 

“Habits are created in pairs, triplets and quadruplets” 

Identify your habit groups and attack them by replacing one or more components with something pre-planned.

Productive Rewards

What is something you want, or have wanted for a long time, that you have put off buying for too long? 

Perhaps it’s a new piece of equipment for a hobby you enjoy. 

A tool or piece of kit for your business or work. 

New clothes… 

A holiday or short travelling trip,

Or even a course, or a coaching program that you’re interested in investing in. 

Treat yourself to things that treat your soul. 

Things that are genuinely good for you, and those close to you. 

Too often do we celebrate with self sabotage… 

Celebration does not mean to poison oneself… 

At least, it should not be this way…

Yet for the common person it very much is. 

Celebrate with sugary cake. 

Celebrate with drugs and alcohol. 

Celebrate with a late night and poor discipline, only to sacrifice tomorrow’s quality of input. 

For my 30th birthday just gone, I fasted the entire day. 

I’m not in any way suggesting that you must do this too…

Yet it was truly a gift that nourished my inner being, although I felt the need indulge and do what was considered normal on a birthday. 

For some weeks before I had been developing my discipline, sticking to my habit tracker and getting much more serious about my Self Mastery. 

When my birthday came, I was already on a good streak, so I decided to fast that day and then enjoy an evening feast. 

My birthday was celebrated with discipline… 

Why is that not crazy? 

Well… can you buy discipline? 

Some of the most financially wealthy people in the world have seriously low levels of discipline and impulse control. 

This makes them miserable, even though they have everything they ever wanted… materially. 

Nobody can buy discipline or willpower. Nobody can buy courage. Nobody can buy patience… 

So in gifting myself discipline for my 30th birthday I gave Usman something that could not be bought even with millions in cash. 

The greatest birthday gift I could ask for…

Discipline. 

Love Something More Than Your Desires

Love is one of, if not the most powerful driving forces available to us as humans. 

It can take us to the other side of the world, pursuing romantic relationship. 

It can drive a person to fast from food for 40 days in the pursuit of spiritual connection. 

It can motivate a person to win championship titles and perform superhuman athletic feats.

Love is what men, since the dawn of man have put their lives on the line in order to protect.

Love is what keeps a child-bearing woman going, willing to endure indescribable pain, even though she is afraid, so that she may birth new life… 

If there we desire to change a behaviour, yet find it difficult to do so due to a lack of impulse control, discipline and willpower, we must find something we love more than that which we cling to. 

When what you are attached to becomes a hinderance towards something you love more, you will choose that which you love most. 

Here’s an example. 

When I quit smoking weed, I initially had temptations to smoke again. 

One day, a dear friend of mine came to visit my city. He invited me round to the apartment he was renting so we could catch up and spend a few days together.

I accepted, however when I arrived I saw (and smelled) something I did not expect. 

3 ounces of weed… sitting on the table. 

The most potent, pungent, penetrating weed my nose had ever sensed. 

“Smoke as much as you want,” He said… 

Wow… How was I going to say no to this? I loved smoking weed, but had decided to quit and was 4 months clean. 

How would I stay true to myself, even when presented with such a tempting offer? 

That much weed, in a high rise apartment, with the beautiful sun shining, a balcony, and more weed to smoke than a professional stoner could handle? 

{Side note}

At the time I was vaping, and honestly, this proved as a necessary bridge from smoking weed all day to where I am now. 

In fact, if I did not have a nicotine vape at that time, I most likely would have succumbed and smoked the weed. 

So… It is sometimes important to bridge the gap of change between a behaviour and its removal. 

From weed to a vape to tobacco (currently) and ideally to inhaling nothing at all but air. 

That is my intent. 

{Side note over}

Now… here’s where the love comes in. 

Sitting there in this apartment, the smell of weed strong and an abundance of greenery in front of me, an inner battle took place. 

“We’ve been so good, let’s just smoke on this one night,” my mind uttered… 

“No but we’ve been here before, you can’t handle one joint, what if the addiction comes right back?” Said my better self. 

“Ok, let’s just go tonight without smoking anything and then tomorrow you can smoke as much as you want,” said the darker voice, 

“Oh Allah please protect me and allow me to pass this test. This is a test, and I will pass it!” My higher nature continued. 

 An internal conversation like this took place for some time… 

Did I stick to my word and refuse the smoke? 

Well… here’s what happened. 

The time for prayer came around, so I went downstairs, did the sacred wash (wudhu) and performed my prayers. 

After praying, I spoke to Allah… 

I said, “Allah… grant me the ability to endure this challenge, to come out on the other side so overjoyed to have stayed firm to my word.” 

“Allah… let me rise above the lower nature and invest in my higher nature” 

“Allah… shield me in your impenetrable fortress, guide me through this process and give me the courage to endure the discomfort you have placed before me.” 

I envisioned myself after those 3 days, victorious having not given in to temptation. 

Firm on my path of sobriety. 

Weed smoking really was one of the hardest habits I’ve had to stop throughout my entire life. 

So this was a big deal! 

I realised then, in that moment, that if I smoked weed, I would not able to perform my prayers. In islam, this would not be considered the best practice, although one can pray in any condition… it is not ideal. 

It became clear. 

There was no way I was going to smoke weed and get high. For in doing so I would be sacrificing my prayers and islamic practice, for what… 

Getting high? Intoxication?

May Allah forgive our weaknesses. 

I love my prayers more than I loved smoking weed and getting high. 

Praying fills me up, I feel cleansed and nourished on a level that no material can provide.

In other faiths one might enter the place of worship drunk and filthy… 

In islam, the best practice is to be clean, to be sober and clear headed when praying before Allah. 

Does this make sense? 

If I smoke weed, I would not be able to pray.

I love praying more than I love smoking weed. 

Therefore why would I sacrifice something I love more, for something I like less? 

Currently, my discipline, especially in waking up at 6am and destroying a productive morning routine consistently has yielded so much positivity in my life that I do not wish to sleep in… ever again. 

Even if I am tired, I have grown to love early morning productivity, performing my morning routine, and holding myself to a higher standard of discipline far more than the old pattern of staying comfortable, snoozing, and sleeping more, which often lead me to feeling guilty, anxious and unfulfilled, knowing I have goals to pursue. 

When you taste higher standards, you don’t want to go back… 

When you experience how good it feels to eat healthy foods, exercise regularly and spend time in nature… you do not want to return to sugar-cereal for breakfast, late nights casual sex and drugs… 

Come to love a higher standard of living. 

There is no doubt that you will, for it will bring you closer to your higher nature, and that is what truly satisfies the soul, which each and every one of us has within, whether believing or not.

Health tastes far better than junk food… 

Faith and family satisfy far more than hedonism. 

Self Love and Inner peace are more pleasurable than any drug. 

So…

Find something you love, that either you have access to or could one day have access to. 

A wife, a family, your own house, flourishing health… 

Whatever it is… 

Get clear on what you really want from a place of love. 

Weigh your temptations up against the thing you love most. 

If your temptations win, you need a bigger love. 

Trust me… when you really love it, you will know. 

For you will not be willing to sacrifice it for any old instant pleasure. 

The 5 daily prayers were a game changer for me. 

What will it be for you? 

Ponder, reflect and make sure to clarify this! 

And remember, you might not know the thing you want and love until you experience it! 

Get disciplined and see how good it feels…

You won’t want to go back…

Decisiveness: Closing Open Loops

Willpower is a finite resource that depletes when used and recovers when rested. 

Remember? Just like a muscle. 

We train it through using it, through resisting impulsive behaviour, through taking right action instead of sitting in thought, procrastinating…

After resting and sleeping willpower regenerates and we’re ready to do it all over again. 

Decisions cost willpower. 

From the small ones to the larger, more serious decisions. 

Think about it for a moment. 

Is there some decision you’re putting off making? 

Something you’re unnecessarily delaying, due to either a lack of clarity, commitment or courage? 

Does this open loop not enter your mind throughout the day, bringing with it a sense of stress, tension and anxiety? 

You know there’s something to be addressed, and the more of these decision loops you keep open, the more often you’re not present, feeling the stress, pressure and urgency to make up your mind. 

The practice of closing loops, and even preventing loops from opening is a game changer. 

In fact, this is the principle behind keeping a habit tracker for your morning routine and evening habits. 

It is the foundation beneath all scheduling. 

It has taken my discipline to the next level. 

What is it exactly? 

Pre-decide what you’re going to do tomorrow, save yourself the willpower of having to decide what your morning routine will be (for example), by setting it up the day before. 

If you keep a habit tracker like I do, your morning routine and evening habits will mostly be fixed and constant, increasing only in duration or intensity as the weeks go by. 

The structure and content however remain the same. 

What would happen before I began implementing this change? 

I would wake up, think about doing my morning routine, then wonder what I should do, spend more time thinking, and eventually do either nothing, or some mediocre practice… 

Before setting my time for waking and tracking it with a green tick or red cross, I would negotiate with my mind, and convince myself to stay in bed for longer, which never lead to any good in my life.

Now, on the day before, my workout is planned, specific to the exercises, I know exactly what I’m going to work on (this Mastery Letter), and the same goes for my evening habits. 

Schedule…

Structure… 

For some of us, this is the medicine we’ve been waiting for! 

To bring order into our lives. 

To become decisive people with clear boundaries, organisation and set intentions. 

Pre-decide on as many small decisions as you can for tomorrow, today. 

Decide what you’re going to wear tomorrow, get your clothes ready and put them somewhere where minimal effort is required in order to put them on. 

Write down your workout for tomorrow, be specific from exercises and loads, to the number of sets and reps, you can even include whether it will be at home or in the gym and what time you will begin.

If there’s a creative project you’re working on, decide exactly what you’re going to be working on tomorrow. It might even be (as it was for me, for too long), figuring out what to work on exactly… 

When the intention is set, your objective is clear and there is no room for excuses or self-negotiation.

In practicing pre-deciding, you no longer need to waste valuable willpower and mental resources on small, trivial choices. 

Just this morning I noticed how long I was taking deciding what t-shirt to put on. 

Realising how silly this was, I grabbed the first one I could see, this tells me that I should plan what I wear the day before, which to be honest, I haven’t been doing. 

So, what small decisions can you make today, in order to be more prepared for tomorrow? 

Write this plan down. 

I can not urge you enough to draw out a habit tracker or download the free template on this page. (On the right if you’re on desktop, at the bottom if you’re on mobile) 

Let your morning routine be something you need not think about, you simply get up, and enter go mode. 

Let your evening habits be the same. 

This will save you a lot of willpower for the things that actually matter, regarding both doing and not doing. 

I intend to take this to the next level by pre-deciding what and when exactly I will eat each day, when I may snack (if at all), and also adding a midday routine to my schedule so I’m not getting distracted and depleted by impulsive behaviour or trying to decide what I should be doing during a window of free time. 

Does this all make sense? 

It is very simple, and you may take it as far as you wish. 

Create a daily schedule. 

If that feels like too much, begin with a consistent, pre-decided morning routine. 

Add a list of evening habits to complete before sun-down or bed. 

Begin structuring other things in your life like meal times, sleep and wake times, work times, snack times, social times etc. 

Additionally, write a plan for the things you’re going to do tomorrow that would be better of with pre-decided details. 

Take your workout, plan this out in as much detail as is necessary to reduce unnecessary decision making. 

Note down not just when you’ll eat but perhaps even what you will eat. 

I always make it clear on my daily review and plan for tomorrow what exactly I’m going to be writing and working on.

The fewer small decisions you pre-decide and avoid having to make in the moment, the more willpower you save for the things that really matter… 

Things that are more important than what t-shirt you will wear…

Actionable step: 

Download the habit tracker template here.

Fill it out and put it somewhere you can not miss it. 

Look at it repeatedly, get to know it well and mark your wins and losses honestly. 

Aim for 80% ticks and allow for 20% crosses in the beginning. 

Conclusion

Willpower is not something we have without the conscious willingness to train it. 

It grows like a muscle when exercised, and is weakened by impulsive, instantly gratifying, heavily dopamine inducing behaviours. 

In order to strengthen your will you must have a genuine desire to do so in the first place. 

This comes when you realise that will-power is essential for Self Mastery and the experience of your potential, and there is no freedom without Self Mastery. 

Delaying gratification and learning to sit with one’s impulses is the key. 

Releasing all judgement from how one feels when craving or aversion arise, unidentifying from the impulsive ego and re-identifying with the conscious observer within. 

The addiction to positive states is what lies at the root of all impulse behaviour. 

This habit must be untangled and replaced with one of greater wisdom and emotional intelligence in order for Self Mastery to be actualised. 

You must find something you love more than the desire that currently rules you. 

When you find this, you will not wish to sacrifice your love for a quick fix. 

Fall in love with vitality, an abundance of energy and heightened sense of wellbeing. 

Develop a preference for inner peace and wholesome living, by experiencing them first or uncovering the higher nature within than longs always for the available ideal. 

Raise your standards for living and you will wish not to return back down to a lower life. 

Make use of productive rewards, ones that move you forwards and provide genuine nourishment, as opposed to stifling your progress, self sabotaging and causing harm to the being. 

Celebrate consciously, not with poison but with the nourishment of your needs and reinforcement of your purposeful pursuit. 

The 4 greatest things a person can invest in are health, knowledge (guidance), contribution and life experience. 

Take care of small decisions pre-emptively so you may preserve your will for more important matters, and more testing challenges. 

Planning for tomorrow and developing a devout daily schedule is invaluable in the pursuit for greater willpower. Begin with a morning routine, add scheduled evening habits, and fill your day with as much scheduling as possible. 

Routine maketh a strong man.

And with that being said, I wish you well. 

Stay sharp. 

Stay shiny. 

Stay strong. 

Thank you for reading all the way until the end. 

You my friend… are one of the few. 

I honour you, and invite you to get in touch if you have a request, proposal, question or inquiry to work with me directly. 

Letting go of the old you that no longer serves, rising above the lower nature and making dominant the higher nature. 

Bless. 

May you will be strengthened and impulses be mastered.

Usman.

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