On Failure

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The only true failure in life is to cease all trying and efforts, accepting defeat and giving in to the fear of pain that comes with all endeavours. 

Failure is inevitable in all growth pursuits, whether it be the pursuit to build a strong, healthy, fit and aesthetic physique, the pursuit of an income generating business that betters the lives of others, or the development of any skill that one deems to be valuable in sharpening. 

Most of us are afraid of failure, and in being so afraid we guarantee defeat by never trying, never attempting or trying a little then shying away. Why do we choose this? Because failure hurts the self image, if one has attached the notion of perfect pursuit to one’s self esteem.

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There's No Life Without Fear

If I consider failure to be inevitable in the process of learning and improving in all things, then when I fail I can choose to see this as an opportunity for growth and refinement. If I believe failure to be a projection of my own low self worth, then when I fail, I quit. 

Seek failure, for in doing so one gains the possibility of winning. It is only in the embracing of failure that one develops to a point of competency where winning is possible. Perhaps you were used to winning without trying too much, without putting in the effort and grind because you were either gifted in a particular field or up against low competition. 

Hard Work Beats Talent

Being gifted can be somewhat of a curse, for it allows an individual to believe that winning and succeeding require no effort, preparation and trial by fire. When one is faced with the situation of being incompetent in something, often that which is outside of the zone of comfort, a new reality is experienced. 

This is the reality of mastery. Mastery takes time, effort, consistent action and unyielding belief in oneself, regardless of the number of failures or mistakes one makes. If you avoid efforts altogether, you guarantee no progress. If you’re willing to be incompetent for a while, tripping over your feet and looking like a fool, you will eventually gain the skill necessary to be competent in your field of choice. 

Expect Internal Resistance

Frustration comes as a resistance to one’s initial inability. You pick up the musical instrument, attempting to learn, but progress is slow and mistakes are many. It is difficult, and something far beyond what you’re used to doing and so you have a choice. Give up because you’re not good enough ‘yet’ or continue to practice knowing that things take time to develop. 

On the other side of this frustration comes a sense of progress, surprise and joy. The bridge between frustration and competence is patience and in many cases adaptability. If your approach is proving to be impractical over a period of time, adapt and try a different approach. Continuing to use the same approach that yields very little growth after a large amount of time has been invested is foolish, expecting something to change through some miraculous breakthrough. 

Be intelligent about your pursuits, if something is not working, try a different approach. Be patient enough to see each approach through until you know it is time to adapt. 

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The Simple Solution (Yet not always easy and that's the point)

The simplest approach to getting better at anything is to do the thing itself. Simplicity is powerful, whilst overcomplicating things only leads to further delay in ones development and progress. Do the thing you’re afraid to fail in. If you wish to be better at fighting but fear receiving pain and losing in battle, fight more battles. 

When you fight more battles you will naturally become more competent and therefore confident. If you choose to avoid exposing yourself to the potential of failure, you will remain stuck, eventually regretful for no progress was made, and much time has elapsed. 

Turning Weaknesses Into Strengths

Fighting more battles is not the only thing required to improve. One must sharpen the details of practice. Practice technique, footwork, build stamina through other forms of intense exercise and study other fighters so you can learn from them. 

This can be done with or without a master. Take note of your weak points, work on them, sharpen them, and build them up to a level where they are no longer weak, but rather strong. Such a methodology can be applied across all aspects of life, in business, health, romance, communication and beyond. 

Work on your weaknesses and you may be surprised at what you are capable of. Allow failure to be something you embrace and even seek, for in seeking it, you are desensitising yourself to the blow. 

The Importance and Role of Failure

It is common in strength training to work until the point of failure. For at this point where the muscles and nervous system reach their maximum capacity for work, adaptation takes place, calling upon greater strength. 

Therefore failure, if embraced allows for adaptation, which is the most real form of learning and growth. Expose yourself to the parts of you that are insecure. Develop strategies to go about sharpening them, and one weakness at a time you will develop into somebody you always dreamed of being. 

Remember, the fear of failure is one of the greatest thieves of a life lived with fulfilment. We all must try, we all must fail, and those willing to fail most, achieve levels of greatness that few in life get to experience. 

The only way to guarantee failure is by not trying at all. 

The only way to get better is through repeated failure. Winston Churchill said:

        | ''Success is the ability to experience failure and failure, without the loss of enthusiasm.''

Don’t take failure personally or as a statement of who you are. It is how you respond to failure that says much about your character. Fail, and fail again, then fail again. When the surprise of your ability presents itself, you will be thankful that you allowed yourself to be vulnerable and see that success has no end-point, but is rather a continual, perpetual journey we must all make. 

Adopt a mindset that relishes in the process and detaches from the outcome. Hold the outcome lightly in your mind, but commit more to the process of getting there, for not all journeys are completed, yet those walking the path with commitment and faith are honoured and revered. 

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