The Mastery Letter

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Becoming Incredibly Decisive

I've recently discovered a personal weakness that I had been overlooking for some time.


Writing these Mastery Letters has had a tremendous impact on my life. Why? Because I write about what I’m learning and experiencing as I transform my weaknesses into strengths.


The journey of self-mastery is iterative. It requires identifying the dominant weak points in your life, setting absolute priorities, stepping onto the path of improvement, taking the first step, making mistakes, documenting them as feedback, adapting, and attempting again until you unearth what works.


That's all this is—the Mastery Letter is documentation of the project that is me.


In my life, I am the project. The same applies to you. You are the project, the purpose, and the foundation of the path ahead. The path is shaped by the weaknesses you carry, for the obstacle is the way.


Do procrastination, avoidance, failing to keep your word, and not meeting your own higher expectations invoke misery in your life?


Do you struggle with anxiety, dissatisfaction, a lack of life fulfilment, and disappointment in your choices? Do you feel as strong and worthy of respect as your great-grandfather or ancestors did?


Would you like to become someone you love, respect, and are proud of? Someone who handles important matters swiftly, confronts priorities head-on and has the courage to tell the hard truth?


What about alleviating anxiety, finding wholesome sources of relief instead of weak instant gratification, and experiencing true fulfilment and happiness beyond external validation or material gain?


If you answered no to any of these questions, then this probably isn't for you. However, if you felt even the slightest whisper of a yes, I assure you that you'll find value here, and even more if you apply what you read.


The solution to these problems is simple, as are all effective solutions derived from universal truths—simple but not easy. We shouldn't pray for an easy life; we should pray for the strength to endure a hard one, as Bruce Lee said.


The solution is in becoming incredibly decisive.


What is a decision?


"What makes a decision different from any old choice?" The distinction between these two words may surprise you because we often use them interchangeably. "Decision" comes from the Latin root word "decidere," which means to cut off. Understanding the root meaning of a word is valuable because it helps you embody its essence through action and implementation.


"To cut off what?" you might ask.


To decide is to cut off options. This is powerful because removing all other options brings clarity and direction.


Have you ever tried to quit an addiction or stop abusing a particular substance like alcohol or refined sugar? Did you notice how hard it was when you were indecisive, one foot in and one foot out? Inner conflict drains your willpower, making discipline challenging.


Now, consider times when you were so committed to quitting or making a change that there was little inner conflict or resistance. You weren't entertaining the choice to give in. The process felt smoother.


Think of it like cold water therapy. You want to enter the cold water, but it's uncomfortable. The mind races with thoughts of discomfort and potential dangers. When you hesitate and dip one foot in slowly, it becomes even more challenging. But when you decisively march in, fully committed, it gets easier.


This is the difference between decision and choice. Choices are many; a decision is one. When you decide, all other options vanish.

There's a story of soldiers on a mission. The odds of success were low, and some wanted to return home. The captain ordered the boats to be burned. This radical action represented a decision—no safety net, no escape. Only then were they fully committed and more likely to succeed.


If you're one foot in and one foot out, you haven't decided. Your suffering will be greater, and success less likely. Become more decisive by eliminating as many, if not all other options.

In essence, embrace the power of decision, for it is in this decisive cutting-off of alternatives that you'll find your path to self-mastery.


Do You Need A Crisis?


April 2018, 


There I was… disappointed to discover that the girl I had a crush on was once again a lesbian. For some reason (yin-yang) I was experiencing this repeatedly.


Broken and with a cloud of despair over my head, I returned home, seeking solace in the two most soothing remedies I knew—smoking weed and binge eating.


This marked one of the lowest points in my life. For months, and eventually, two and a half years, I smoked weed and consumed sugary junk food every day.


My life lacked purpose or direction. I didn't know what I wanted to do or where to begin finding answers. Self-destructive, addictive behaviour had taken over; I was no longer in control of my choices. I felt hopeless, powerless, and stuck in a personal Hell on Earth. I promised to quit weed and lead a healthier life daily, only to break my word and fall back into the pattern.


I couldn't help myself. No matter how much I wanted to change, my actions didn't follow. I'd feel motivated for a short time, only to return to smoking weed and binge eating.


I reached a point where something needed to change drastically. The sense of being stuck grew so severe that thoughts of not wanting to live began haunting me. This was new for me. I had questioned the point of life before, but I'd never felt it so personally.


This cycle continued until I realised that one of the main reasons I indulged in weed and sugar was to escape life momentarily, to halt life and the pressure to know my purpose.


Then it hit me; “life doesn't have a pause button.” 


Life is continuous, with or without our consent. Time keeps passing, and we keep getting older. Regret for wasted years loomed closer each day.


I faced an ultimatum—end my life or stop everything at once, regain control, embrace discipline, and fully commit to life. Die or live like never before.


Of course, I'm writing this letter now, so I chose to live. Praise God for giving me the strength to decide on life over escape. My misery seemed inescapable, and I needed the pain of remaining the same to outweigh the pain of making a change. 


That's the principle I want you to remember as our first factor in becoming decisive. 

Tony Robbins' words echo in my mind: 


"Change happens when a should becomes a must.”


So, I ask you, do you need things to reach an absolute crisis point in order to change? Do you have to wait until things get so bad that you'd rather die than live?


I don't believe we need to be that foolish. We don't need to wait for hell on Earth to make a decision and turn our lives around. Recent life has shown that a crisis is not necessary for change. We don't need to wait until the world slips through our fingers to make important decisions and choose better.


A Wake Up Call: Urgency


It's been a month since I turned thirty, and so much has changed in this short time.


I've established a disciplined morning routine, increased my creative output, and feel proud of the choices I'm making. Finally, the discipline I've longed for is here.


Turning thirty felt like a wake-up call. Some say age is just a number, but to me, numbers have meaning. Thirty says, "I'm no longer a boy; I'm a man.”


I see men around me who've spent more than thirty years on this planet, yet they're weak, overweight, addicted to vices, submissive, and lack fire. I can't afford to be like them; I know I'm destined for more.


This brings me to the topic of decisiveness, and one word captures my wake-up call—urgency. Urgency prompts decision-making. When the door is closing, we run for it, fearing we might miss our opportunity. Turning thirty fills me with urgency, but it's not just my age.


I see my mother tied to her full-time job, unable to explore who she is. It breaks my heart. The urgency within me says, "Get to work!" I owe my mother more than I can repay, and I want to make her life better.


I pray daily for her to live many more years, but I also want to retire her soon, to give her the dynamic experiences she deserves before she's too old to enjoy them.


So, how can you find a sense of urgency in your life? You must feel you have something to lose, something you love dearly.


In "The Dark Knight Rises," Bruce Wayne only succeeds in escaping the prison when he fears losing what he loves—protecting Gotham. This fear of failure gives him urgency.


Urgency arises when something you love may be lost. Decisiveness increases when those odds rise.


This is progress, but it's not always easy to recreate. We must systemise this process and leverage aspects within our control.


Orchestrating Decisiveness: More Serious Matters


To cultivate decisiveness, it's crucial to fear the potential loss of something you deeply care about, and believe that this loss is highly likely if you don't take action.


“The more you want something, the more you fear not having it.”


Interestingly, this concept extends to the world of business and marketing, where one can subtly influence potential customers to make decisions through tools that evoke desire, urgency, and scarcity.


Consider this example: "Get a fifty percent early bird discount on our annual well-being retreat—offer ends tonight at midnight! Act now, only three early bird tickets left!”


Although this may not be relevant to everyone, it demonstrates the principles at play. For the right audience, a fifty percent discount stirs desire. The limited-time offer creates urgency—act now or miss out. The mention of only three tickets left increases the likelihood of missing out and invokes a sense of scarcity, especially when supported by testimonials.


Desire, urgency, and scarcity.


Batman's desire was to escape the prison and save Gotham. It became urgent as he knew Bane planned to destroy the city. Removing the safety rope and facing the fear of death intensified the sense of scarcity. There was one chance, one last opportunity.


Such were the conditions necessary in order to push Bruce Wayne into deciding that there was no other option but to escape the prison.


But what does this look like in practice? Ideally, we shouldn't wait until the last moment to make decisions; it often results from fear and procrastination.


Utilising the Nightmare


"What do you fear most? What outcome do you least desire?" Scientific evidence shows that pain drives action more than pleasure. Understanding what you don't want can be a more powerful motivator than what you do want.


Get clear on your nightmare, keep it in mind, and use it for motivation. You don't need to reach a crisis point before making a change. Crisis may provide motivation, but it's not the smartest approach; prevention is better than cure.


While some may live in complete surrender to the unknown, this approach isn't conducive to progress and building something meaningful, especially for a man.


Assuming you want to be more decisive, reduce procrastination, and ease anxiety, let's continue on that path.


First, don't wait until the probability of losing what you care about increases significantly. Simulate this sense of scarcity through imagination and forward thinking. Your nightmare will come true if you keep avoiding necessary decisions.

Generating urgency comes next. Many successful individuals, including leaders and entrepreneurs, regularly contemplate death. The awareness of death creates urgency and encourages immediate action. Death is inevitable, and it might be closer than we think.


In the last two years, I've received news of friends unexpectedly passing away. They were young, and no one expected their lives to end. This realisation hit me hard; our time of death can't be predicted based on age. It could happen any time, catching us by surprise.


Regularly remember death; it will drive you to make the significant decisions necessary and overcome the fear of taking action.


Eliminating Options


Lastly, practice eliminating options. Imagine sitting in a restaurant, overwhelmed by a menu with hundreds of choices. You only want meat, not vegetarian. This immediately eliminates many options.


Now, instead of over fifty meat choices, you know you don't want burgers, narrowing it down further. By continually eliminating options, you're left with two or three choices. Choosing from a smaller selection becomes much easier.


In summary, fewer options lead to easier decisions. Get clear on what you don't want, and it becomes clearer what you do want.


Keep the image of your nightmare close, the level of importance you associate with preventing this at all costs will invoke desire in you to be better, now. Create urgency by regularly remembering death, inspiring immediate action. Eliminate options to simplify decisions. In clarity, choices become clearer.


Scheduling: The Power of Pre-Deciding


The principle of eliminating options, as discussed earlier, isn't limited to major life decisions like choosing a romantic partner. It's also incredibly valuable when applied to your daily schedule, which involves making numerous small decisions throughout the day.


Rather than waiting until the moment arrives to decide when to wake up, exercise, work, eat meals, study, meditate, socialise, bathe, and go to bed, you can save a considerable amount of mental energy and willpower by pre-deciding these aspects of your day.


Enter the power of a schedule. 


Create a disciplined schedule for yourself and stick to it. A schedule isn't a rigid prison; it allows for flexibility and adaptations. However, adhering to a plan will significantly reduce procrastination, avoidance, aimless wandering, time-wasting, and inner conflicts.


Here are the core components of my schedule, though I won't go into detail here, as I've covered this in previous Mastery Letters:


  • Waking time (gradually reduced to six in the morning).
  • Morning routine (including training, stretching, and meditation).
  • Prayer times (rooted in Islam's five daily prayers).
  • Work times (with one session integrated into my morning routine).
  • Shutdown (the point where I end my workday).
  • Meal times.
  • Snack windows.
  • Evening habits (stretching, meditation, reading).
  • Bedtime (gradually reduced to around ten at night).


To ensure adherence to this schedule, I've incorporated it into my habit tracker. This way, the schedule becomes habitual and automatic. Each day, I mark completed activities and time periods with green ticks, and failures with red crosses. These failures serve as feedback, prompting reflection and potential schedule adjustments. For instance, if I repeatedly fail to maintain a specific bedtime, it indicates a need for change, such as reducing late-night socialising.


(FREE Habit Tracker template is available for download, link is at the bottom of this page)

Create a daily schedule, beginning with waking time, morning routine, and initial work periods. Avoid overloading yourself initially; progress gradually in detail and the number of scheduled items. Eventually, include meal times, bedtime, and anything else essential for your ideal day.


Your personal projects, ie, the current obstacle you’re attempting to solve based on the priority and sub-domain you decided on earlier will help clarify how best to design your schedule.


For example, with mine currently being work and productivity, I must ensure I get good enough sleep, this means sleeping on time is a must, and anything preventing that from happening needs to be sacrificed. 


Remember, scheduling isn't about imprisoning yourself in control but about freeing yourself to make the right choices strategically and consistently. It's a tool to help you achieve your goals and maintain progress.


Progress is happiness. You will not feel caged but rather more free than ever before.


You Need a Vision


To be decisive, you must have both a dream and a vision. Your vision is what you desire most in life. Failure to achieve this vision manifests as the nightmare.


Decisiveness becomes meaningful when your choices align with your vision, preventing distraction and deviation from your desired path. Many self-improvement and personal development resources emphasise the importance of a vision, but they often lack guidance on how to clarify it.


Clarity on your vision can be immensely beneficial. Rather than basing your vision solely on materialistic desires like cars, houses, or romantic partners (which are impermanent), focus on becoming the person you aspire to be. Impermanence brings beauty, gratitude, and appreciation to our lives. Material pursuits can leave you empty if you lack these virtues.


Gratitude, appreciation, and detachment are character virtues, not material possessions. 


Therefore, build a vision centred around who you wish to become as well as what you want to acquire.


Ask yourself, "What do I want most in life? And who is that going to require me to become?” Create a detailed picture encompassing health, work, relationships, and happiness, and describe the do’s, don’ts and character traits of the person your dream calls for you to be. 


This was a game changer for me personally when I was struggling with weed and sugar addiction. One aspect of my dream is to have a beautiful, feminine, pious wife who mothers our children well. I realised that if this is a part of my dream, there is no way for it to become true if I remain a stoner and binge eater. “Would such a woman be interested in and attracted to the man-child I was?” Of course not! A woman like that is attracted to a real man, not a boy. 


It was this realisation that motivated me most to quit weed once and for all and get back on to the straight path of Islam. 


It’s not just about what you want. It’s about who your desires will call you to be in order for them to be acquired. 


Know Your Priority


When determining your priority, consider the four primary areas of life: health, work, relationships, and happiness (though these may evolve over time). Improving one area often benefits the others, so you don't need to focus on all of them simultaneously.


Identify the weakest area in your life or the one that would make the most significant difference if improved. This is your area of highest leverage and should be your priority. It's okay to focus on one area at a time; trying to address all four concurrently leads to incomplete results.


Prioritisation minimises distraction, deviation, and wasted time. Focus on one thing and trust the process.


Currently, my priority is work and productivity, specifically within the sub-domain of productivity. I've been making progress in this area. I'll explain how this approach unfolds soon, demonstrating its holistic nature despite appearing to neglect other aspects.

Make the Decision


The decision marks the point where you eliminate other options. This can be a psychological commitment or a literal action. For example, when I decided to quit smoking after smoking daily for two and a half years, I deleted the phone numbers of all my dealers from my contacts. 


Although this seemed scary, it was my ego that feared change, clinging to pleasure and resisting it. This was a burning of the safety net. 


While the decision doesn't have to be extreme, writing it down and tracking progress through a habit tracker can be highly effective. Tracking your progress increases accountability, making you more likely to stick to your decision.


Alternatively, share your decision with someone close to you. However you choose to do it, ensure that your commitment is serious.


I'm currently in the process of quitting smoking. I've made the decision and made it real and realistic. Each day, I've pushed back my first smoke by one hour. Today, it was scheduled for 3:30 PM, and it's now 4:30 PM, and I still haven't smoked. This incremental approach, involving a planned time for my first smoke, has been effective.


This process relates to decisiveness in several ways: the decision to focus on work and productivity, the decision to quit smoking progressively, and the decision to push back my first smoke each day.


By making decisions, taking action, and progressing iteratively, you solve problems one by one, bringing you closer to your vision and who you want to become. Progress naturally unfolds on this path. Refusing to address pressing problems can lead to a plateau in progress toward your vision.


Celestial Events


This may initially seem unrelated, but I urge you to keep an open mind, as there is profound truth in what I'm about to share.


The full moon is a time when people across the world choose to release things that no longer serve them. It's intriguing to note that the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) also practiced a form of letting go each month during what are known as The White Nights. These nights coincide with the brightest and most radiant phases of the moon's light. Personally, I haven't explored these opportunities extensively, but I can't deny that I've observed significant shifts in my behaviour in sync with lunar cycles.


While I'm not an expert in astrology and attribute all causation to Allah, I see merit in studying celestial patterns and capitalising on the opportunities they offer. Setting up a full moon ceremony to solidify decisions—this is an avenue I plan to explore.


Notice how this journey has unfolded iteratively? We began with productivity, moved on to decisiveness, and now find ourselves considering full-moon ceremonies. This is the interconnected beauty of the interactive process.


Apart from celestial events, there isn't necessarily an ideal moment for decision-making. If there's a decision you can and must make right now, don't delay by waiting for the next full moon. Act swiftly and decisively. However, if you're grappling with the decision and believe that a ritual can enhance its power, then by all means, go for it.


Ultimately, the perfect time to make a decision, provided you're well-informed about the potential consequences—both positive and negative—and are in a clear, centred state of mind, is right now.


Delete your past lover’s phone number, be rid of their contact details and leave no path of communication open (if this is what you know you must do). The ego will be in fear, but as you will soon read, this fear is illusory and hinders personal and spiritual growth. 


Once again, burn the boats.


Keep Your Promises


In my experience, the simple act of making a commitment and wanting to honour my word often motivates me to stick to a decision.


This brings us to two essential insights. First, it highlights the role of identity and character in the journey of self-mastery. Whether your goal is to overcome an addiction once and for all or to build the business you've been dreaming of, one character trait that will undoubtedly feature prominently is integrity.


Integrity means doing what you say you will do. It signifies a harmonious alignment between your thoughts, words, and actions. You refrain from making empty promises, resisting the urge to say "yes" when you don't genuinely mean it, and choosing not to react impulsively.


Integrity suggests a deeper commitment to preserving your honour over protecting your self-image. 


If you sense that there's something intolerable in your family, community, or significant relationship, acting in alignment with your thoughts and words, especially if you've shared your concerns with a trusted confidant, would be the honourable course of action. This holds true even if it entails some short-term discomfort.


If you find yourself complaining about something, it serves as an invitation to take action, rooted in the necessity of integrity. If you're not even remotely inclined to take action or resolve the issue, it's often wiser to remain silent.


Your word is your honour; your word is your action—unless, of course, you lack integrity and are prone to insincere promises.


If integrity isn't a character trait you've envisioned in your future self, I encourage you to reconsider. Achieving anything truly meaningful invariably demands unwavering commitment to your word and follow-through with inspired action.


Self-Love, Respect & Confidence


Story time…


Once, there were two boys who were inseparable friends. They did everything together—climbing trees, exploring caves, embarking on adventures, and playing in harmony.


One day, they made plans for the following morning. After deciding on the time and place, they headed home, eagerly anticipating their next shared adventure.


Morning arrived, and one of the boys headed to the agreed-upon meeting spot at the appointed time. He waited patiently, but his friend was nowhere in sight. This was unprecedented, so he continued waiting, unfazed. Twenty minutes passed, then thirty, and still, no sign of his friend.


Hours elapsed, yet the friend never showed up. Disappointed and confused, the boy eventually headed home. That evening, he encountered his friend and asked why he hadn't shown up as promised. Excuses followed, and the boy, although puzzled, shrugged it off.


They made plans for the next day, with the friend assuring he would be there this time. However, the next day, the same scenario unfolded. The boy arrived promptly, but his friend was absent once more.


Frustration and disappointment mounted as the same pattern repeated. Promises were made and broken, leading to a growing chasm between them.


Then, something changed. They made plans once again, but this time, the boy, having lost confidence in his friend's word, decided not to show up. He assumed that, based on past experiences, his friend wouldn't keep his word.


Ironically, on this particular day, the friend arrived on time, but the boy wasn't there. Frustrated, the friend eventually left.


Later that day, they crossed paths by chance. The friend, now angry, demanded to know why the boy hadn't shown up, stating, "I was worried! You're never late, and you always do what you say you will do!”


The boy responded, "After so many disappointments, I stopped believing in your word. I can no longer trust the promises you make.”


Regrettably, their paths diverged, and their friendship withered. Trust had been shattered, and the boy no longer took his friend's words or pleas seriously.


Take a moment to consider how frequently you break promises to yourself. Is it a common occurrence? Do you commit to quitting a particular habit or reestablishing a specific behaviour, only to falter in your follow-through?


Over time, just as this pattern erodes trust between friends, it erodes trust in oneself. You begin to doubt your ability to keep your word. This loss of self-trust can escalate to the point where you question the value of pursuing any goal, expecting the same inevitable outcome.


Failure, lapses in discipline, breaking internal promises—these fractures trust within your internal relationship. However, the silver lining is that self-trust can always be rebuilt, unlike the arduous process of rebuilding trust with a friend or loved one.


Confidence originates from the Latin word "confidere," meaning to have complete trust. If you're struggling with confidence and wish to regain it, you must start by honouring the promises you make to yourself.


Restore internal trust by following through on your commitments. Choose to embody integrity as a person who aligns thoughts, words, and actions. Write down your commitments and uphold them to preserve your honour and cultivate integrity in your character.


Over time, you'll earn respect from both yourself and others. You'll take pride in the choices you make, and a renewed sense of self-love will emerge. Why? Because promises between loved ones are sacred.

If you'd like to see your future self characterised by integrity, I invite you to reconsider the importance of this trait. Achieving anything truly significant always hinges on the ability to uphold your word and take inspired action.


Rules Are Good 


You must have heard the saying, “rules are meant to be broken.” I would agree, but only so that one may take this is feedback and create more realistic, strong and effective in adaptation. 


One rule that has made a world of difference for me in getting out of bed in the morning without hitting snooze or being pulled into the black hole of doom scrolling is so simple and powerful. 


My phone absolutely must be put outside of my bedroom when I sleep, and I must make my bed before turning the alarm off. 


These two rules were formed adaptively when I would continuously break the rule of no snoozing. I took the failure as feedback and devised a strategy that still works to this day. It has been over 8 weeks and I can honestly say this was a life-changer. I truly struggled with getting out of bed in the morning but now, I’m ready to maximise on my day the moment I wake up. 


Of course, there’s always a little whisper in the mind to get back in bed or sleep in, but that’s where my habit tracker entry of wake up on time comes in extra handy. 


Another rule I absolutely know I must adhere to is no phone in bed, and no phone in the bathroom. Considering that in honesty these rules have been continually broken as of recent, I’m going to try and take a book with me to the bathroom instead, and the same when I go for naps. 


Let broken rules show you their weaknesses, and let those weaknesses serve as opportunities for proper adaptation. 


Create some rules that help you stick to your habits and remain true to the decisions you have made. Put them on your habit tracker, or write them somewhere where you will see them regularly. 


The Right Decision? 


There’s no one way of knowing for certain which decision is objectively the right decision, however there is a principle we can keep in mind that will help us in navigating decision making in a much more rational-minded, effective and accurate manner. 


We will use the example of ending a romantic relationship, for this is something I have done more than once, and it was never an easy decision to make, for emotions cloud clarity of vision. In such a context, the key is to ask whether the motive behind a decision is either in fear or love. 


In situations like these there are two clear options to decide between. One being to stay in the relationship and the other being to break up, take the hit and go through unavoidable pain. 


Let’s say you’re thinking about leaving the relationship, but you’re not sure whether or not you should give it another shot. You have hope that things could get better, yet this is uncertain, and currently the relationship is causing a lot of pain for both of you. 


“Is leaving the relationship rooted in fear or love?”


“Does the fear of loss drive you back into the relationship? What about the fear of upsetting somebody you care about, or the fear of being alone and without an intimate partner?” 


“Do you fear being seen as a bad person and therefore wish to stay in the relationship simply as a means of preserving your positive self image?” That was the case for me once upon a time. 


What about the drive to leave yet with the opposite intent, that being the intent of love. 


“Do you wish to leave the relationship because you realise that you can not give your significant other what it is they really need, and so you know deep down that they deserve to be with somebody who is willing to give them the love you can not give?”


“Do you love yourself enough to leave a relationship that is dissatisfying, where you are continually invalidated and forced to feel guilty for being your authentic self?” 


“Do you know deep down that you deserve to be in a relationship where truth and honesty are honoured and respected, while your current dynamic does not welcome such courageous acts?” 


In the example above, the reasons for staying are based in fear while the reasons for leaving are rooted in love. Therefore I would say the right decision would be to leave. Remember, a decision is a clean cut, no going back, no irrational back-and-forth-ing. 


One could well and truly wish to remain in the relationship. If such a drive is based on genuine love and not fear, then staying would be the right decision. 


Love is expansive and aligned with the truth. It is not simply a feeling or emotion. Love goes much deeper than that. Make sure to read the Mastery Letter on Self Love for a deeper understanding. 


Decisions made in fear are often bad decisions. Look at how many people were pushed into getting the Covid vaccines through fear. They may deny this and claim that it was for the love of their people, yet this will in most cases be untrue. 


Such people, and maybe you, were motivated by the fear of death, the fear of being vilified, or the fear of government prosecution. 


Fear makes poor decisions due to the fact that fear is an illusion. It is not true. It is false evidence and therefore one who makes a decision in fear is making an inaccurate decision.

Question your own intentions honestly when it is next necessary for you to make a decision. Are you driven by fear or love? Choose love... provided you're not confused about what love is, for many people can not tell between fear and love. The mind must be sharpened.


Indecision & Poor Decisions: The Root


Let's clarify that feeling indecisive and taking your time to make an informed decision are two entirely different experiences. One is rational, while the other is irrational. One is grounded in logic, the other distorted by emotion.


If indecision stems from the distortion of reality caused by emotional turmoil, what emotion is at the root of this distortion? It's simply fear.


Fear has the power to obscure our perception of reality, preventing us from taking action and making decisions that we know we need and want to make. The next time you grapple with indecision, whether it pertains to ending a relationship, breaking a habit, or taking any other action, profound or mundane, introspect and uncover where and how fear is taking hold.


In moments of indecision, fear often lurks. Ask yourself why you're hesitating to make a decision and carefully listen to your inner responses. Journal about it, persistently inquiring until you identify the root cause.


For me, I've found that indecision often springs from:

  • The fear of unmet expectations
  • The fear of enduring hardship
  • The fear of rejection
  • The fear of scarcity
  • The fear of failure
  • The fear of disapproval
  • The fear of making the wrong choice


Identify which fears frequently surface in your experiences.


Remember, fear is just fear. It stands for "False Evidence Appearing Real." It isn't reality. It is an illusion rooted in expectations and assumptions, which often prove to be entirely inaccurate when reality unfolds.

Consider this scenario: You plan to cancel plans with someone or deliver a challenging truth. Instead of acting promptly, you delay and delay until the situation becomes urgent due to the fear of upsetting them or being disapproved of. Then, with trepidation over how the other person might react, you finally speak your mind.


To your surprise, they handle it better than you anticipated, and you realise how unwarranted your apprehension was.


Let these experiences accumulate. Each time you recognise how inaccurate your expectations and assumptions can be, how fear is often built on false evidence, remember these instances. Stack an arsenal of evidence that reminds you just how irrational and inaccurate fear really is. 


Keep this stack of evidence close, and gradually, fear will no longer cloud your judgment and render you indecisive.


What fears lie beneath your indecision?


List them, remain vigilant for their presence, and liberate yourself from their grip.


In reality, things are seldom as dire as they may seem. Nor are our expectations and assumptions reliable. To minimise uncertainty, ask more questions and seek more clarity, rather than being led solely by your thoughts.


Communication is key, we all know it yet rarely practice the fine art.


You might expect that jumping into a cold stream will be agonising, yet once you take the plunge, you may find it surprisingly invigorating.


You might anticipate that quitting an addiction will be a nightmarish ordeal, incredibly challenging, and impossible to handle. However, upon making the decision, you might be astonished by your resilience and the freedom from cravings.


Expectations and assumptions are often fear-driven and inaccurate. Refrain from entertaining or trusting them. Instead, let direct experience and courage be your guides.


"The other side of fear is never as the mind envisions." - Usman Ali


Mindlessness 


The number one most effective approach to overcoming fear, procrastination and avoidance is to actively practice mindlessness. 


Do not negotiate with thoughts, do not argue with them, do not give any energy to them whatsoever. Just stop. 


Move your body before your mind has anything to say about it, make the decision and take the action that is most necessary for you in that moment, get fully into your body and out of your head. 


Indecision is a product of thinking too much, overthinking, overanalysing and being used by the mind as opposed to using the mind. Remember this, the mind is your tool, not your master. 


In most cases it’s overthinking and over-analysis are irrational and illogical. Analysis is only effective if it is both necessary and rational. Over-analysis is an emotional response to feeling unsafe or uncomfortable with the uncertainty of the near or distant future. 


There is no greater certainty than that of the present moment, the here and now. For in the present there is no future, no past and therefore no uncertainty. 


Sharpen the ability of getting into your body, out of your head, and immersed within the present moment. Learn to become mindless, just as I, a man who could not read more than two lines on a page before his attention would dart off in all directions, have learned to. 


Your excuses and identification with the label of ADHD have no weight in front of me. If you knew how scattered my mind was and how tortured I was by my thoughts, you would understand and not consider yourself some special, disabled case. 


Flooding With Certainty


There is another way to back up your decision making. If uncertainty is behind all indecision, we must make our decision and then create massive certainty. 


How can this be done? It is done through bringing to attention all of the reasons for how the decision you’re making is right and best. If you’re looking for reasons why you might be choosing wrong, you’ll find them too, for there are always pros and cons to every decision made. 


Something will be lost and something will be gained, this is the inescapable reality. There will be sacrifice, there will be discomfort, and there will be some level of suffering. Yet there will be growth, there will be expansion, and there will be opportunity. 


What is important is not that your decision is perfect, it is that you learn to bring the most part of your attention to that which is good about the move you are making. 


If you look for goodness you will find it. If you look for badness you will find that too. 


The choice is yours. Create certainty by looking for it and keeping it at the front of your mind. Use prayer to be lead on the right path, the straight path, that which is best for you and your community. 


Faith is what gives us certainty, even when it seems scarce. Trust in the divine plan, that if your intention is from the heart and in the name of becoming a stronger and better version of yourself, you’re making the right decision. 


If your decision is one of love but you still feel afraid of the consequences, exercise faith in God, for He rewards us for our intentions. And if your indecision is rooted in fear which it most likely is, know that fear is what blocks us from God, from he Divine, from the plan that is far greater than any human could imagine. 


Have faith in the plan. Trust in the process and keep your attention directed towards all that is good as you move forward. Get present and embrace the willingness to suffer in the name of growth and progress. For there is no up without down, and on front without a back. 


Conclusion


Decisiveness, like any other habit, requires repeated practice to become integrated into one's character.


To decide means to eliminate other options. It is in the absence of choices that we experience true freedom. Too many options can lead to confusion, overwhelm, and a lack of direction, especially for individuals with a more yin disposition.


The practice of decision-making is facilitated by the interplay of desire, urgency, and scarcity. Identify how these three factors manifest in each situation requiring a decision. When urgency, scarcity, and desire are high, decision-making becomes swift and straightforward. Discover your own methods for cultivating these factors in decision-making.


You don't need a crisis to prompt decision-making, but if you're waiting for one, you must clarify your nightmare and feel its urgency. Life doesn't pause; you either choose to live fully and engage in life or decide to stagnate.


Every nightmare stands in opposition to a compelling, meaningful vision. Determine your ideal life scenario, envision what's possible, and use the four core areas of life as a blueprint. Choose the current priority, focus on a sub-domain for the next four to twelve weeks, and define the person you must become to realise that improvement.


Selecting a priority may necessitate sacrifices in other areas, but these are short-term trade-offs. Over time, as one area improves, it positively influences all others. Let the path unfold as you take each step, guided by your priority and sub-domain.


Construct a daily schedule centred on routines, rituals, and rules. By automating smaller daily decisions such as wake/sleep times, training times, work times, meal times, clothing choices, leisure/social activities, and other time and energy demands, you increase your willpower capacity.


Final Words 


There's no better time than now to make a decision, provided you possess the necessary information and are in a stable state of mind and emotion.


Celestial events like the full moon can provide opportunities to make decisions you've been delaying. Such ceremonies on the brightest moonlit nights can aid in letting go of what no longer serves you, cutting away options that hinder progress toward your vision and priority.


This practice, carried out for thousands of years by Native Americans and the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), is neither idolatrous nor frivolous.


Commit to your word, nurture integrity, and you'll gain self-trust. Trust is the foundation of confidence.


Finally, recognise that what often impedes decision-making is some form of fear. Clarify your fears and shatter them, for they are illusory mirrors that appear real but are not.


With that said, I express my gratitude for your time, attention, energy, and commitment to reading this Mastery Letter to its conclusion.


Download your FREE Habit tracker template and start inviting more discipline and structure into your life.


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If you aspire to break the chains of self-limitation and unleash your highest potential, book a free 60-minute call with me, and let me assist you to the best of my ability.


Anything is possible, and I've experienced that positive change can flood your life with remarkable speed when you make the right decisions and have the right support.


So, I wish you well.


Share this with someone who might find it valuable.


Stay sharp.


Usman

Who is Usman Ali?

I am a Mathematician turned Yoga & Meditation teacher, writer and coach for those who want to better themselves mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually through Holistic and Natural means. I am obsessed with dissecting the human experience, the nature of existence and the becoming the highest version of myself, whilst helping others do the same.

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