On Acceptance

I used to obsess over acceptance. I used to practice radically accepting life in each and every moment, in the pursuit of a measure of peace that not many people get to experience whilst alive. 

Acceptance says… I accept this moment right now exactly as it is, and I release all resistance towards my inner and outer reality.

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What is Resistance?

Resistance is like pushing against life, refusing to let life be as it is and always wanting things to be different, no matter how slight the difference may be. 

Things aren’t going as fast as I would like them to go, and so I tighten up, become constricted, and then anxiously start to fidget in order to release this constriction and find some soothe… 

The tap is not running as fast as I would like it so I can fill up my water bottle, for I am in a hurry, but a hurry that has no end… 

I resist the traffic lights being red, and so I tighten up, and let out a frustrated sigh in order to soften back up into the moment, perhaps with the help of a cigarette, vape, or browsing through my phone. 

I resist my thoughts, and so when cravings arise, I say no to them, not in a way that grants me power to act better, but in a way that initiates an inner battle that most often results in losing, and indulgence. 

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Ending Suffering

Acceptance is the remedy to so much of our suffering, so much of our struggle, our anxious tendencies and escapist behaviour patterns. 

Acceptance does not mean to yield in defeat and lay down as we give our power away to things, it means to cease the fight we keep getting into with ourselves, and with life. 

We resist the past, for we wish things were different. What if we chose differently? How might life be better now if the relationship, career, or situation was still present in our lives, those things we decided to walk away from however long ago. 

The answer to our regrets does not lie in revisiting the past and rationalising what happened over and over again. It lays within our capacity to be present, in the here and now, letting go of all resistance to life as it is, along with the thoughts we have about this moment or other moments, even if those thoughts are negative in nature. 

One must practice acceptance radically, and for best results, even to a level of obsession. For without this, it is so easy to fall back into resistance. 

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The Practice

When a craving arises, or a negative thought loop initiates, accept, do not fight. Accept, and witness the thought or craving that has arisen. Watch it, with no resistance, it will dissolve, for without fighting these thoughts and cravings, we do not charge them up, we suspend them in a space that has no location, we free them from the charge of our bias and as a result, they naturally dissipate. 

More challenging situations, stronger cravings or heavily compulsive thought patterns require a further step to be taken. Acceptance is just the beginning, the next step is to un-identify from the mind. 

This means… I am not my thoughts. I am not my mind. I am not my cravings, desires, impulses or plans. I am something far beyond these concepts. 

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